Design the worst update possible

[Maher]

if you lose both legs you are at 10% max walk speed and grab the ground and pull yourself to move

So basically the game becomes "Getting Over It?" And Getting Over It prides itself on its lack of a save file.

 

[LRangerR]

If you accidentally hit an animal with a tool
or weapon, they expire. Farm animals are now required for certain cooking recipes.

i thought we were going for bad suggestions...

If you take too long, every single in town will hook up before you do and leave you forever alone with only Krobus as a roomie. the deadline is the first egg festival.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

While walking there is a 45% chance per tile that you might trip, and when you trip, you lose 15 HP and 5 energy.

 

[Luna_Tuna]

You have to start working for joja again…

 

[Dreyski]

You can only carry 1 iridium bar due to its weight, while radioactive ore/bars in your inventory drain your health.

 

[Cool Jhon]

add guards that shoot on sight if you try to enter the caves, and you have to kill them first to enter

 

[Gridball Pom Queen]

Grandpa’s ghost haunts the farm (Oh wait that would be kinda fun). Also, he constantly criticizes you and your farming skills. He constantly moves your furniture, spooks animals, and destroys crops (that’s better).

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

Marlon is selfish and doesn't give you a rusty sword instead you have to right with your pickaxe

 

[Jayamos]

Marlon is selfish and doesn't give you a rusty sword instead you have to right with your pickaxe

I actually experienced that because I was so bad at fighting on my first save I lost my sword. I wish I’d rage-quit, but I didn’t even think of resetting the day. The good news is I got a lot better at fighting fast.

 

[astdragon]

remove swords

 

[Cool Jhon]

Remove everything but the farm and make it a generic survival slop game

 

[Hedgehogthe3rd]

ConcernedApe is now a robot

 

[FilthyGorilla]

all we need is more qol, just let the game play itself, at some point in update 2.8 we'll be able to watch it like a terrarium