Design the worst update possible

[EliteDangerGamer]

the bus crashes on your way to stardew valley, and you have to guess which way is to the valley

 

[Gridball Pom Queen]

If you accidentally hit an animal with a tool
or weapon, they expire. Farm animals are now required for certain cooking recipes.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

You have to pay mortgage fees or the Mayor will kick you out of your house.

 

[Cool Jhon]

You now have to play the game following every rule of every religion to exist or you get punished

 

[Luna_Tuna]

Tornados, earthquakes and tsunamis will happen aswell as acid rain

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

Tornados, earthquakes and tsunamis will happen aswell as acid rain

every time you move 0.00001 tile, 50 of these happen

 

[Maher]

• The May-Pal Syrup bear only speaks Portugese so you need to know or learn it before continuing the game. No guessing using Spanish or Italian!

Except if you're playing in Portuguese, in which case the bear speaks Urdu.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

I'm winter, you need to shovel snow otherwise you won't be able to get out of the farm.

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

I'm winter, you need to shovel snow otherwise you won't be able to get out of the farm.

and to clear one tile, it uses up 12 stamina bars (you die immediately)

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

and to clear one tile, it uses up 12 stamina bars (you die immediately)

Yeah that sounds like real life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking now takes up 10 energy per tile.

 

[Luna_Tuna]

Your clothes can get holes in them so you must pay 10k to have them fixed

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

You must pay to feed your children and pay for their toys otherwise you commit child abuse and you are sent to prison for 5 in-game years and then there is so much friendship decay.

 

[Maher]

and to clear one tile, it uses up 12 stamina bars (you die immediately)

And this is why the lack of verisimilitude in the actual game is so nice.

 

[Luna_Tuna]

You have to watch ads on the tv before you can choose a channel

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

You have to watch ads on the tv before you can choose a channel

and the ads also interupt the channel, and you miss any actual information

 

[dragonflySky]

Every item stack maximum is changed to 99

 

[MogBeoulve]

And this is why the lack of verisimilitude in the actual game is so nice.

Did you also hurt yourself shoveling snow? My shoulder is still bad a week later.

 

[mih2]

Update makes the screen just black with a very offbeat annoying cringy song that plays in the background.

 

[candledlockwood]

land sharks, if you aren’t constantly moving they auto teleport to you and eat one of your limbs

if they eat an arm, every subsequent tile you try and hoe, rock you try and break, or tree you try to chop takes 5 more hits then previously
if you lose both arms you’re just cooked and can only walk around

if you lose a leg, you lose -50% movement speed and the walking sprite changes to hopping
if you lose both legs you are at 10% max walk speed and grab the ground and pull yourself to move

 

[Maher]

Did you also hurt yourself shoveling snow? My shoulder is still bad a week later.

I try not to. I just sort of keep up with it as it falls. We do that in Minnesota. Our biggest problem here is that someone who talks like Mr. Qi offered a strange bun at the Witch's hut, so we keep getting all these monsters from levels 40-79 of the local mines. IYKYK.