Design the worst update possible

[Maher]

if you lose both legs you are at 10% max walk speed and grab the ground and pull yourself to move

So basically the game becomes "Getting Over It?" And Getting Over It prides itself on its lack of a save file.

 

[LRangerR]

If you accidentally hit an animal with a tool
or weapon, they expire. Farm animals are now required for certain cooking recipes.

i thought we were going for bad suggestions...

If you take too long, every single in town will hook up before you do and leave you forever alone with only Krobus as a roomie. the deadline is the first egg festival.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

While walking there is a 45% chance per tile that you might trip, and when you trip, you lose 15 HP and 5 energy.

 

[Luna_Tuna]

You have to start working for joja again…

 

[Dreyski]

You can only carry 1 iridium bar due to its weight, while radioactive ore/bars in your inventory drain your health.

 

[Ludwig Fan]

add guards that shoot on sight if you try to enter the caves, and you have to kill them first to enter

 

[Gridball Pom Queen]

Grandpa’s ghost haunts the farm (Oh wait that would be kinda fun). Also, he constantly criticizes you and your farming skills. He constantly moves your furniture, spooks animals, and destroys crops (that’s better).

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

Marlon is selfish and doesn't give you a rusty sword instead you have to right with your pickaxe

 

[Jayamos]

Marlon is selfish and doesn't give you a rusty sword instead you have to right with your pickaxe

I actually experienced that because I was so bad at fighting on my first save I lost my sword. I wish I’d rage-quit, but I didn’t even think of resetting the day. The good news is I got a lot better at fighting fast.

 

[pawtumn]

remove swords

 

[Ludwig Fan]

Remove everything but the farm and make it a generic survival slop game

 

[Hedhogthe3rd]

ConcernedApe is now a robot

 

[FilthyGorilla]

all we need is more qol, just let the game play itself, at some point in update 2.8 we'll be able to watch it like a terrarium

 

[Lenora Rose]

You can only carry 1 iridium bar due to its weight, while radioactive ore/bars in your inventory drain your health.

If you buy a sapling, you can't put it in your backpack, you have to hold it in your hands and hurry back to the farm without talking to anyone, or you'll gift them. And they're universally hated.

 

[Hedhogthe3rd]

If you die you have to reset your save. if you live past year 50 you die of old age. Every fish you catch begs for it’s life. Your pets will pass as time goes on, your spouse will too. This is the soul update.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

In the winter, all the bodies of water are frozen up, so you need to break a single square in the ice with 50 pickaxe hits. Also if you pass out at 2 am there's a chance a wolf will eat you and then you have the restart your save.

 

[Zieria]

• Grandpa's ping-pong table bed breaks, ending his life before giving you the letter. Game Over.
.....
• Maru electrocutes you. Again. This time you're permanently disfigured and hideous to everyone in town except Marlon. This is the secret happy ending .

Hilarious. How do you actually think of all this stuff?

 

[Lew Zealand]

Hilarious. How do you actually think of all this stuff?

I thought of a standout experience that each of Villagers have with our Farmers and then, well, I have a lot of random that happens in my head so I just let it flow. As I was writing the thing about Maru, I had no plan to connect it to Marlon, the random did that. However the random is very tiring so I conk out quickly and it disappears. It's a weird experience but a lot of fun!

 

[RykerNightshard]

Linus dies

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

Linus dies

HOW???!!!