Design the worst update possible

[Cool Jhon]

(This is intended for humor, not actual suggestions.)

What would you add to the 1.7 update to make it the worst update ever?

My idea is to add an item shop where you can spend S Bucks (bought with real money) to buy crossover skins like Peter Griffin and more. There will also be a battle pass that costs 1000 S Bucks but, by leveling up, you can earn 1500 back and a bunch of skins!

 

[Luna_Tuna]

When you move one tile your character losses 1hp

 

[Slimeglasses]

(This is intended for humor, not actual suggestions.)

What would you add to the 1.7 update to make it the worst update ever?

My idea is to add an item shop where you can spend S Bucks (bought with real money) to buy crossover skins like Peter Griffin and more. There will also be a battle pass that costs 1000 S Bucks but, by leveling up, you can earn 1500 back and a bunch of skins!

-Mega knight added to trinkets
-you can now enter super mode once a day after marrying a villager (makes you 1/2 times larger, increases damage in combat dealt, speed, and takes up 1 1/2 times the energy to do tasks

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

You now have to pay taxes and if you go a day without eating, you lose all your health and energy and if you lose all your health,


your save file is deleted forever!

 

[Dreyski]

Using the bus or boat to reach the desert or ginger island now works in real time.

There's a trolley problem cutscene but involving junimos.

Rapture mode where the game is deserted.

 

[Lew Zealand]

• Grandpa's ping-pong table bed breaks, ending his life before giving you the letter. Game Over.
• You stay working for Joja in that cubicle until you die and rot into the skeleton in the next cube over
• The bus breaks down on the way to Stardew Valley and you live as a feral Neanderthal in the mountainous woods, eating leaves and the occasional chipmunk
• Robin collapses your house during the initial cutscene, injuring Lewis and he sues you leading to a life of indentured servitude to him
• Haley finds you increasingly disgusting, eventually paying Sebastian to lure you out of the town like the Pied Piper and dropping you off the cliff
• Willy forgets to tell you about the Land Sharks that ate Elliott already
• Instead of teleporting him to the Community Center, Rasmodius' defective Return Sceptre accidentally teleports you into Skull Cavern level 99 where you're consumed by Flying Serpents. They start with your kneecaps. They quite like kneecaps.
• The Junimos are boozers who only talk to Shane so you have to interact with him for all Community Center events, and Shane always takes his cut.
• The May-Pal Syrup bear only speaks Portugese so you need to know or learn it before continuing the game. No guessing using Spanish or Italian!
• Maru electrocutes you. Again. This time you're permanently disfigured and hideous to everyone in town except Marlon. This is the secret happy ending .

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

the world is constantly bombarded with meteors, and they destroy everything in a 20x20 area, such as the community center, pierres, and you have to pay one billion dollars to repair them
and if the farmhouse is destroyed, the game crashes and your save file is deleted
everything EXCEPT for the farmer is made of antimatter, and if you touch anything, you blow up and instantly die
you have a maximum of 1 stamina
when you die you lose all your items

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

You have to go to work in order for Lewis to let you sell anything and staircases are removed and there are no more mine/skull cavern rewards and mine elevators.

 

[Cool Jhon]

Your lips get chapped in the winter and if you don’t use chapstick once an hour you take damage

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

Your lips get chapped in the winter and if you don’t use chapstick once an hour you take damage

and to get chapstick you need 1000 prismatic shards, 1024 magic rock candy, and 5000 diamonds
(single use)

 

[Luna_Tuna]

• Grandpa's ping-pong table bed breaks, ending his life before giving you the letter. Game Over.
• You stay working for Joja in that cubicle until you die and rot into the skeleton in the next cube over
• The bus breaks down on the way to Stardew Valley and you live as a feral Neanderthal in the mountainous woods, eating leaves and the occasional chipmunk
• Robin collapses your house during the initial cutscene, injuring Lewis and he sues you leading to a life of indentured servitude to him
• Haley finds you increasingly disgusting, eventually paying Sebastian to lure you out of the town like the Pied Piper and dropping you off the cliff
• Willy forgets to tell you about the Land Sharks that ate Elliott already
• Instead of teleporting him to the Community Center, Rasmodius' defective Return Sceptre accidentally teleports you into Skull Cavern level 99 where you're consumed by Flying Serpents. They start with your kneecaps. They quite like kneecaps.
• The Junimos are boozers who only talk to Shane so you have to interact with him for all Community Center events, and Shane always takes his cut.
• The May-Pal Syrup bear only speaks Portugese so you need to know or learn it before continuing the game. No guessing using Spanish or Italian!
• Maru electrocutes you. Again. This time you're permanently disfigured and hideous to everyone in town except Marlon. This is the secret happy ending .

Those are brutal omg, Haley would be crazy

 

[Luna_Tuna]

I would also like to add, if you forget to Feed your animals they kick you like your cow or maybe your cat will steal something from your chest if you forget to give them water

 

[Lew Zealand]

and to get chapstick you need 1000 prismatic shards, 1024 magic rock candy, and 5000 diamonds
(single use)

You're saying Farmer Bobbi would need to stay inside Tailoring and designing all Winter.

Soooooooo…… nothing changes then!

 

[Dreyski]

the world is constantly bombarded with meteors, and they destroy everything in a 20x20 area, such as the community center, pierres, and you have to pay one billion dollars to repair them

The canon is that the Ferngill Republic is at war, so instead of meteors, it's a bombing raid from the Gotaro empire.

In the same vein, the conscription mod where all the bachelors disappear for one game year.

 

[EliteDangerGamer]

The canon is that the Ferngill Republic is at war, so instead of meteors, it's a bombing raid from the Gotaro empire.

In the same vein, the conscription mod where all the bachelors disappear for one game year.

why can't it be both?

 

[Luna_Tuna]

The day Restarts if you can’t solve 10th grade math problems in 30 seconds

 

[Yvi]

NPCs can take real hp damage if accidentally hit with scythe/pickaxe/sword. You can kill an NPC this way.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

In order to make any money, go to ginger Island, go to the desert, go th
I the mines or go inside buildings you must first get Stardew Valley Premium Version($10,000/Month).

 

[liquidcat]

I would make it so that, regardless of what you gift npcs, you get the worst gift dialogue every time.

 

[Ih8Lewis4ever]

You have to right on the we with the Goroto Empire and if you did, your save file is deleted.