Stupid (but not) Stardew Theories

Prrsha

Farmhand
Mr Q. Is the CEO of Joja and is locked in an eternal struggle of good and evil against the wizard.

Stardew valley is a sacred place that is the center of the “world’s” storyline, hence the Wizard moved there to study it as he told you in game.

Both Q and the Wizard wish to be masters of it but can’t interfere directly as your character is the “chosen one”. You are the only person that can change the static universe there, that’s why the Junimos only respond to you.

You are also in control of the fate of every marriage in Stardew Valley as you can make or break relationships, everyone else are just spectators.

Linus is a druid or the embodiment of the area itself as the Wizard can be seen speaking to him often in some secret off screen dialogues (Halloween for example).

Your grandpa was killed off as he too could affect the universe. Perhaps he made some choices that were unpopular to important people. That’s why he sent you his legacy incase he failed his quest.

Always watch your back and never go out at night! :3
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
If the farmer goes to Ginger Island, summons the horse using the Horse Flute, then rides Willy's boat back to Pelican Town after a few hours and later goes to sleep without ever using the Horse Flute for the rest of the day, then how does the horse return to its stable by the next morning???
Options:

• The Horse Flute retains some of its last breath to recall the Horse between 2 and 6 am as a final exhalation.
• The Stable is a giant Horse Flute which plays overnight with the gentle night breezes. The Port-A-Floot you carry in your pocket is the result of technological miniaturization.
• Willy goes back to get your Hoss every 2am whether you leave it there or not. There's a reason you still gotta pay freakin' 1000g per trip after fixing his boat.
• Hoss is actually a Were-pegasus but the wings only come out between 2-6am to fly home.
• The ocean to Ginger freezes overnight and he ice skates back.
• The Ferngill Republic Horse Underground Railroad is using you to get escaped horses from the Gotoros to freedom and every time you leave a hoss out at night, that one goes free and is replaced by a new one in the morning seeking freedom and a better life.
• The rays of the yellow sun allows your alien horse from another planet long destroyed to fly, so in a former life he was a superherorse but is now retired and would really appreciate you not blowing his cover by asking too many questions in early morning.
 
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Maher

Farmer
If the farmer goes to Ginger Island, summons the horse using the Horse Flute, then rides Willy's boat back to Pelican Town after a few hours and later goes to sleep without ever using the Horse Flute for the rest of the day, then how does the horse return to its stable by the next morning???
Here's another - one of the horse's shoes is paired with the stable like a pair of mini-obelisks, but with better range. At 4am, it triggers and the horse teleports home. The horse flute pairs with the shoe in a similar way, which is what makes it work. The tune isn't a call so much as a trigger, to prevent accidental horse summoning.
 

LRangerR

Local Legend
Options:

• The Horse Flute retains some of its last breath to recall the Horse between 2 and 6 am as a final exhalation.
• The Stable is a giant Horse Flute which plays overnight with the gentle night breezes. The Port-A-Floot you carry in your pocket is the result of technological miniaturization.
• Willy goes back to get your Hoss every 2am whether you leave it there or not. There's a reason you still gotta pay freakin' 1000g per trip after fixing his boat.
• Hoss is actually a Were-pegasus but the wings only come out between 2-6am to fly home.
• The ocean to Ginger freezes overnight and he ice skates back.
• The Ferngill Republic Horse Underground Railroad is using you to get escaped horses from the Gotoros to freedom and every time you leave a hoss out at night, that one goes free and is replaced by a new one in the morning seeking freedom and a better life.
• The rays of the yellow sun allows your alien horse from another planet long destroyed to fly, so in a former life he was a superherorse but is now retired and would really appreciate you not blowing his cover by asking too many questions in early morning.
Haha I'ma hafta go with the were pegasus one.

That or your horses shoes can transform into a tiny boat for each foot and the horse can float/water gallop his way home

That or your horses has his own horse whistle.

Maybe he's a seahorse...
 
Why it never rains during festivals:

Dating back to the founding of Pelican Town, some of the founders had noticed that it never rains on certain days of the year after having lived there for many many years. After several decades, the progeny of these founders had noticed too and decided to make and schedule holidays/festivals to fall on these 8 days of the year in which it never rains. A few decades after such Festivals were established, the Wizard moved into the Forest. One year, he had intended to observe what the mortals would do if it happened to rain on those days by crafting Rain Totems in an attempt to induce rain on every single Festival day that year. The one constant was that in all 8 of those instances, some "mysterious force" (perhaps Yoba?) had prevented the rain from coming on those particular days!
 
Oooo ooo! Can I play? Can I canicani???

The real reason that everyone in town has such cool hair colors is that the local Slime population runs a secret hairdressing salon chain with outlets in the Secret Woods and north of the eastern Beach. Slimes run kinda cold and they love nothing more than sitting on a warm head, kinda like a cat-hat. As the different color Slimes sit on your head and emit happy cooing sounds, some of their color melts off and into your hair and after an hour or so and a quick blowdry to set the color, you're good for a fortnight or your roots grow out.

And lest you think it's only Emily and Caroline, Elliott and Robin keep the Orange Slime consortium in business. And Haley's coif would barely be the faintest beige in Summer and barely lighter than brown in Winter if not for the Yellow Slimes. And you can put your Wizard ancestry theories to rest as Abby's been sneaking out to the Partnership of Purple Slimes ever since Caroline decided she should go back to brown'chestnut'. A girl's gotta go what what a girl's gotta do.
I want to visit the Paternship of Purple Slimes :) I'm thinking they must charge a lot for their hairdressing services because Abby and the Wizard are the only ones with purple hair. It's a VIP experience :) Hope I can afford it.
 
SO...hear me out
THE WORLD IS A TOMATO!!
"Before time there was only the endless golden light. The light called out to itself...'Yoba'. Yoba wanted more. Yoba swirled the golden light into a vortex. Yoba swirled and swirled until a hole formed in the eye of the vortex. From this hole sprung a seed. Yoba smoothed the golden light. Yoba smoothed and smoothed, and the light became soil. Into this soil, Yoba planted the seed. The seed sprouted, and behold! A vine sprung skyward, twisting and probing, casting a writhing shadow onto the golden void. After 11 days, the vine bore fruit. Yoba, with knowing wisdom, peeled the tough skin off the fruit and saw that the world was inside. And so that is how the world came to be. "
 

Prrsha

Farmhand
SO...hear me out
THE WORLD IS A TOMATO!!
"Before time there was only the endless golden light. The light called out to itself...'Yoba'. Yoba wanted more. Yoba swirled the golden light into a vortex. Yoba swirled and swirled until a hole formed in the eye of the vortex. From this hole sprung a seed. Yoba smoothed the golden light. Yoba smoothed and smoothed, and the light became soil. Into this soil, Yoba planted the seed. The seed sprouted, and behold! A vine sprung skyward, twisting and probing, casting a writhing shadow onto the golden void. After 11 days, the vine bore fruit. Yoba, with knowing wisdom, peeled the tough skin off the fruit and saw that the world was inside. And so that is how the world came to be. "
The real question is if it is a vegetable or fruit. ;3
 

Benhimself

Rancher
Kind of glad that this thread got necro'd because I have a headcanon semirecently developed that the reason Lewis is trying to keep his relationship with Marnie a secret is the age gap.

Like, it's a lot more noticeable in the portraits than the sprites but you've got grey-haired "I've been mayor of this town for over twenty years" Lewis and fresh-faced local farmer Marnie and it isn't hard at all to imagine Lewis being concerned that people might be weird about it with him being, say, in his 50s and Marnie in her 30s, even when they're both clearly consenting adults.
 
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