Gesplinkct
Farmhand
Her eyes snap open at 6am sharp. In her first waking moment, she stands fully dressed, wearing a backpack, right next to her bed.
She reaches into her backpack and methodically moves her hands from left to right, pulling out a full cup of triple-shot espresso without spilling a drop. She feels no pain while the full cup of still-scalding coffee flows down her esophagus within seconds, but her legs are instantly imbued with newfound power.
Blasting out the farmhouse door, she beelines towards some trees, while rummaging in her bag for her axe. Her hand closes upon a wooden handle just as she reaches her soon-to-be victim. In one fluid, well-practiced motion, she pulls out the axe and swings it at the tree, but a warp totem dully thuds against the trunk.
The world around her distorts from one familiar sight to another – she accidentally teleported herself about twenty steps behind her. Fuming at the silly cat statue at the warp point, she mounts her horse who is thankfully nearby in its stable, too lazy to walk the twenty steps again.
After carefully using the correct tool to gather some wood, she heads to her barn and begins petting her animals mechanically. After a quick slap on the butt for each cow and chicken, sending the chickens unwillingly flying, she turns to her horse again, but one of her cows is grazing nonchalantly right next to it.
“Aw, Bessie…”
She tries to mount her horse, but Bessie wouldn’t budge.
“Bessie!”
She couldn’t push Bessie away from her horse. Frustrated, she starts slapping at Bessie’s side wildly.
Suddenly Bessie disappears into a pile of gold.
“BESSIE NO!!!”
Collapsing onto the ground in anguish, she reaches for some of Bessie’s milk that she just collected. This will make her feel better. As she rummages in her pack once more, a bomb rolls out of her bag, its fuse lighting up with a mind of its own. Wide-eyed and in slow motion, she is somehow powerless to cut the fuse, and she could only watch as the bomb blows up all her mayonnaise machines and half her fence.
Her eyes glow demonically as she chants an ancient spell. Time begins rewinding itself, back to the start of the day…
Her eyes snap open at 6am sharp. In her first waking moment, she stands fully dressed, wearing a backpack, right next to her bed.
She reaches into her backpack and methodically moves her hands from left to right, pulling out a full cup of triple-shot espresso without spilling a drop. She feels no pain while the full cup of still-scalding coffee flows down her esophagus within seconds, but her legs are instantly imbued with newfound power.
Blasting out the farmhouse door, she beelines towards some trees, while rummaging in her bag for her axe. Her hand closes upon a wooden handle just as she reaches her soon-to-be victim. In one fluid, well-practiced motion, she pulls out the axe and swings it at the tree, but a warp totem dully thuds against the trunk.
The world around her distorts from one familiar sight to another – she accidentally teleported herself about twenty steps behind her. Fuming at the silly cat statue at the warp point, she mounts her horse who is thankfully nearby in its stable, too lazy to walk the twenty steps again.
After carefully using the correct tool to gather some wood, she heads to her barn and begins petting her animals mechanically. After a quick slap on the butt for each cow and chicken, sending the chickens unwillingly flying, she turns to her horse again, but one of her cows is grazing nonchalantly right next to it.
“Aw, Bessie…”
She tries to mount her horse, but Bessie wouldn’t budge.
“Bessie!”
She couldn’t push Bessie away from her horse. Frustrated, she starts slapping at Bessie’s side wildly.
Suddenly Bessie disappears into a pile of gold.
“BESSIE NO!!!”
Collapsing onto the ground in anguish, she reaches for some of Bessie’s milk that she just collected. This will make her feel better. As she rummages in her pack once more, a bomb rolls out of her bag, its fuse lighting up with a mind of its own. Wide-eyed and in slow motion, she is somehow powerless to cut the fuse, and she could only watch as the bomb blows up all her mayonnaise machines and half her fence.
Her eyes glow demonically as she chants an ancient spell. Time begins rewinding itself, back to the start of the day…
Her eyes snap open at 6am sharp. In her first waking moment, she stands fully dressed, wearing a backpack, right next to her bed.
