Lew Zealand
Helper
dzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz
mmmmuhhhhhhh...whuh...?
Oooooohhh and I was having such a nice dream. Snails or horseshoes or salamanders or something.
dzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ
Grrrrrrr, what with these car alarms? Nobody wants to steal your 15 year old rustpile, instead you steal my sleep!
Unable to fend off the heat of the day, Bobbi threw off the covers and discovered that was quite an improvement, unlike previous days. Now, this can't be good as bed is better than anything. Except for the boring bit, bed needs to figure that one out.
Mildly annoyed by the unseasonable heat, Bobbi opened windows and then the front door, only to be greeted by the very seasonable heat of Summer. And the similarly seasonable drone of
dzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
Cicadas.
I wonder if Pierre sells earplugs?
Wow, and I thought the farm looked bad yesterday! Everything was either dead, doing a great impression of dead, or so not-alive that it had forgotten to be dead. ...waitaminute, all except for that plant Gunther gave me to grow in that magic potion I mixed into the ground. This thing had better grow into a huge beanstalk fruiting with gold geese or at least reasonably yellow looking lemons on it.
Checking the mail, Clint sent a reminder that Bobbi's fresh sharp new steel axe was ready. Those trees don't stand a chance now! And Willy's got new fishing rods in stock. Wow, you spend a little g on tools and now everyone thinks you're Ms. Moneybags and wants in on the profits.
Checking the Coop, Bobbi was surprised to see that her chickens had grown up and laid eggs already! They weren't altogether happy about Bobbi fetching the eggs from their makeshift nests but she kind of threw some hay at them to distract and dashed out of the coop with only a minimum of pecked hands and knees. These boots work better on the chickens than the slimes!
Heh, Cooper. Finally living up to the family name.
OK, I could make some omelets. If I had a kitchen. Robin knew this would happen, sell you the gateway building and then hook you for the rest of the notably more expensive upgrades. I don't even remember what the Barn goes for but that ain't gonna be cheap!
Wait. Wait waitwait... There's a thingy thing for eggs, what was it? Checking her notepad, Bobbi found her previously dampened Mayo machine notes from what felt like ages in the past, also known as two weeks in this new lifestyle. Finding the resources for it in her junk box, Bobbi knocked it out in a few hours and popped in her first egg, cranked the flywheel up to speed, and let it churn away. She absently wondered if part of the function of this thing was to bait a trap inside with the Earth Crystal, magically tricking, er... recruiting one of those Junimos to do the job manually in a hidden compartment inside. Sounds like something the Wizard would design just to spite them for remaining mute in his presence.
Leaving the Farm towards town, Bobbi mused that while it was almost pleasantly warm, this was certain to get worse before it got better. All the better to spend time at the beach or river. Or woods or Mine. Anything but the farm. Lol, Summer 1 and already abad attitude. Good attitude! I'm doing the Valley a service here not spending all that time being antisocial out on the edge of town.
On the way to town, Bobbi foraged up a berry-looking thing that had a sharp smell and she suspected an equally sharp taste. The type of thing that old people say reminds them of when they were young. When the world was black and white, Geology moved faster making the walk to and from school uphill both ways, and fruit was tart instead of sweet. I'll keep it as there's probably some nut here who likes them. Like Marlon. He's getting a tartberry cake for his birthday this year! Accompanying the berry was the rib-shaped skeletal remains of probably the last living thing to like them. Maybe they're poisonous and that's how this thing died, better confirm with Gunther first.
Bobbi picked her steel axe up from Clint and finally remembered to have him to crack open her pocketsful of geodes. Amongst other things, he grunted in the general direction of the Iridium Ore and Star Shards which suggested that these were reasonably good finds, and even offered Bobbi 500g for the Shards when Bobbi mentioned she'd take the new stuff to Gunther. She told Clint she'd hold on to them for now while checking the prices for Summer seeds at Pierre's but she's probably be back for 500g.
Clint knows me too well, he'll have his Star Shards before the day is out.
Bobbi hopped over to the Archaeology Library and dropped off Jade, Aquamarine, and a Frozen Tear, which to her surprise netted her a couple of donations. One was a pretty cool standing open-cut Amethyst Geode which would look great in a house that had... nice things in it. And the other was a painting called Night on Eco-Hill, which was pretty, um...
Green.
It was unsigned and gave the impression that perhaps someone had donated it both out of the goodness of their heart, and as the first thing they parted with after deciding to declutter the house. Thinking of her small, bare walls, Bobbi decided that hanging it had a chance of being a small net positive.
Thanking Gunther while blocking the faint glow from the undonated Star Shards, Bobbi closed her pack and perused the country life book set in the Library for new ideas and interesting things. She took notes on recipes for treats, lunches, a Bee house (fun!), a Life Elixir (!), fishing lures, rings, and some Foraging strategies to find better quality items. But this kind of stuff always threatened to put her to sleep no matter how interesting it was, as the room proceeded to enclose around her into a tiny, warm bubble and the rest of reality slowly faded into the mental distance.
...
Breaking out of this doldrum, Bobbi remembered that it was still planting day and she had no seeds yet. Barely awake but forcing her limbs to do walking-type motions, she headed out for Pierre's. Inside, Gus and Marnie were browsing his selection, not all of which looked unfamiliar to Bobbi.
"Oh, hi Bobbi," Marnie said, "How have you been getting along with your chickens? They should be laying by now if they're happy."
"Actually I got 2 eggs just this morning!" Bobbi said more excitedly than she anticipated, probably still trying to break out of the strange warm-Library induced malaise.
"That's wonderful, you must be treating them very well," Marnie said with a beaming smile. "If you're kind to animals, they'll love you back. Oh, and if you ever end up with extra eggs, my nephew is always interested. It's been nice to have him around these past few months and he really helps out with the chickens. Hi Gus, making anything interesting with those parsnips?"
"Ah well," Gus started, "you'll just have to wait and see what flavors I can add and extract from it. Of course I'll need a few other things but it's a secret, no peeking!" He wagged a mock admonishing finger at Marnie and covered the rest of his basket. "If I give all my secrets away then what do I have left to sell?"
"Ambience, friends, Friday half-price drinks..." Marnie started listing off.
"Half price! Nice try but my happy hour prices are cut to the bone as it is." Gus turned to Bobbi. "However you could visit more often and maybe get to know everyone better. The more time you spend the more you hear, one of the benefits of the Saloon." Marnie gave him a slightly guarded glance but he continued on, "but I don't hold on to all my culinary secrets. Come on by and we can discuss cooking and recipes!"
"Ok Gus I really want to do that," Bobbi said earnestly, "but I don't even have a kitchen in my house yet. The farmhouse is barely more than a walk-in closet with an indoor outhouse."
Both of their mouths stood ajar for a second or two, staring at Bobbi.
Marnie recovered first. "No cooking?" She paused. "What do you eat?"
"Gaspacho?" Gus offered. "That's pretty good!"
"Uhhhh... Salmonberries and spring onions?" Bobbi paused. What do I eat? "Oh, and field snacks! They're like granola." Bobbi's brain was blanking on her.
"...they're granola-colored." Bobbi paused again. "They have calories I need." Wow. No wonder you left your phone service job. Good thing you didn't work in advertising or Joja'd be out of business.
Marnie put her arm around Bobbi, saying, "Now Miss Bobbi, please take a bit of advice from a fellow rancher and get a kitchen installed in that farmhouse so you can enjoy some of the nicer things in life. What was your grandfather thinking? Country life isn't all scraping by with the minimum, you need some spice in your life."
"Yes, without spice your food is dull and boring and nobody wants that," agreed Gus.
"OK, I promise I'll do that," Bobbi agreed. "I probably need to get more wood and things as I'm fresh out from the coop and silo. But as soon as I can deforest the rest of my farm, I'll go see Robin!"
"Oh it's good to hear your animals are so well loved, you bought them a house before one for yourself!" Marnie said, looking relieved. "I needn't have been worried. Take care, dear!"
"Yes, take care and come see us," said Gus.
Why did I buy the animals a house before me? Well OK I technically had one first but it's still the same railroad boxcar I moved in to, even though Robin's pushed nice upgrades that I can almost afford.
Ah yes, the almost afford bit. That's gonna get worse...
Bobbi bought 28 melon seeds, hops, corn and pepper and made for home to plant and water them as she was worried the Ancient Fruit was getting lonely and considering ending it's life from sheer boredom. A few hours of sweet vegetable companionship later and the furrowed patch of soil near the house looked almost like it was tended by someone who knew what she was doing.
Passing by the mayo machine Bobbi noted that it was done, or at least stopped. Collecting it, she thought she could sell it at Pierre's for g and melon seeds. This brought out the businesswoman in Bobbi and she decided that those Star Shards really did need a cozy home in Clint's shop and Clint's g needed a cozy home in Pierre's pockets in exchange for even more seeds. And sure, some other stuff.
On the way to making that happen, she came across Haley enjoying a chat with Alex at an ice cream stand outside of Clint's shop which Bobbi swore hadn't been there before. Maybe Alex just set it up for the summer? Maybe I'm just unobservant? Weigh the possibilities: Alex doing something constructive, me not paying attention... hmmm, close call. Alex gets the benefit of the doubt as I know myself too well and I'd totally miss something like that!
Both of them were having a discussion about different methods of summer tanning and asked if Bobbi would be joining them at the beach. She responded that as a paying guild member, she was contractually obligated to sport a raging red Farmer's tan at all times and couldn't join them. Alex was clearly confused but Haley let out a giggle and a "you silly farmer girl!" as Bobbi departed back to Pierre's.
OK, spread this out a bit and not go entirely for monoculture. Blueberry, tomato, sunflower, maybe some wheat. But yeah, 6 more melons, please! Purse empty but seed bag full, Bobbi remembered the Community Center where there should be a summer forage slot, and maybe some of the leftovers from the Mine would fit somewhere.
The shiny but not actually gold thing from days before was a solar essence, which completed the Adventurer's Bundle, netting a gift that was engraved as a Small Magnetic Ring. Ehh, not too small as it barely fit her middle finger and slid off the others. I guess the Big Magnetic Ring can go around my ankle. Soooooo... does this thing add to my naturally magnetic personality? I'll be the most popular person in town! Yeah but with my luck, it'll have the opposite polarity and everyone will run away. Well, at least I'll get more done.
Whoa, whoa Bobbi, slow down there, there's no need for crazy talk! I'm sure with the right application, this thing will only result in less work for me. Whew, dodged a bullet there!
Finding the summer forage bin, Bobbi deposited the spice berry she'd found with only a little regret as she knew there would be many more this season, all with Marlon's name on them. Only grape and sweet pea were left and that bundle would be done, too!
On the way back to the farm at dusk to plant by the fading late evening summer light, Bobbi realized she hadn't given any gifts for a while and that there might not be any daffodils around any more. I wonder who likes grape (who doesn't??) and sweet pea?
...
Bobbi.
What—
have you been doing with your day?
You have a shiny new steel axe and haven't chopped a thing with it yet!
Hacking at the big logs on the farm, the axe didn't quite make quick work of them (heh, quick work, what an oxymoron...) but they did succumb to the sweet shiny sharpness and one even left an odd seed which she planted. That'll be that magic beanstalk I'm looking for.
And then she remembered. A rare and special occurrence to be treasured and then lost amidst the encroaching jumble of daily life. The log in the woods. The Log.
Hastening to Cindersap and hacking away at it almost before she got there, she passed through the newly-exposed narrow cleft between the stone and clumps of trees and came upon an almost-clearing. Feebly lit by the waning three-quarters moon, she could see many old dead hardwood stumps amongst the overgrowth of trees, and small clearing further away.
Wandering in, she was met by...
an old friend...
with a warm, slimy hug.
Bobbi failed to jump out of her clothes in fright and surprise because that would have actually solved the slimy problem. Instead she flailed about with the axe before extracting her sword from its straps in her pack and proceeded to flail about with that weapon until the slime was no more. ...than a slick all over her. So what color will the hair be tomorrow then?
More carefully now, Bobbi advanced, peering into the dark recesses of the forest. Which seemed to be made of nothing but those recesses. Dark ones. This place needs a lighting consultation. And why does everything feel like it's moving?
Carefully avoiding the moving bits, which conveniently cut down her options, she made it to the clearing where there was an old statue with an open mouth and a plaque below it, stating "Old Master Cannoli - still searching for the sweetest taste..." And an outline of... something. A blob. A slime? A vegetable.
This place is weird. And the only reason I don't just dismiss this as a joke from Marlon is I know he's too lazy to make it all the way over here. But then there's the Wiza—
Whack! Another slime came up from behind and got Bobbi on the head. Seriously what's with the head? Sword ready this time, Bobbi recovered more quickly and was ready for a third which clearly was jealous that its sisters were getting all the good hits in. Extracting herself from a portable slime cage, Bobbi noticed a small pond while beating a hasty retreat to Cindersap proper and was left to wonder on her warm and slimy trot home whether there were any interesting fish in there.
dzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz...
The trot didn't last long as those noisy bugs were serenading her to sleep. Not even wanting to take the time to clean off while attempting to remain upright, she took a dip in one of the farm ponds which was almost disturbingly warm this time of year. Fish need to pee, don't they? Why are you thinking of that now?? OK fine, a quick rinse at the house and off to bed.
Seriously. That whole thing could have waited until tomorrow and you could have had a slime-free evening for once. Bobbi fell asleep wondering how often anyone else had to de-slime themselves before bed...
Emily doesn't need to do that does shzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
mmmmuhhhhhhh...whuh...?
Oooooohhh and I was having such a nice dream. Snails or horseshoes or salamanders or something.
dzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ
Grrrrrrr, what with these car alarms? Nobody wants to steal your 15 year old rustpile, instead you steal my sleep!
Unable to fend off the heat of the day, Bobbi threw off the covers and discovered that was quite an improvement, unlike previous days. Now, this can't be good as bed is better than anything. Except for the boring bit, bed needs to figure that one out.
Mildly annoyed by the unseasonable heat, Bobbi opened windows and then the front door, only to be greeted by the very seasonable heat of Summer. And the similarly seasonable drone of
dzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
Cicadas.
I wonder if Pierre sells earplugs?
Wow, and I thought the farm looked bad yesterday! Everything was either dead, doing a great impression of dead, or so not-alive that it had forgotten to be dead. ...waitaminute, all except for that plant Gunther gave me to grow in that magic potion I mixed into the ground. This thing had better grow into a huge beanstalk fruiting with gold geese or at least reasonably yellow looking lemons on it.
Checking the mail, Clint sent a reminder that Bobbi's fresh sharp new steel axe was ready. Those trees don't stand a chance now! And Willy's got new fishing rods in stock. Wow, you spend a little g on tools and now everyone thinks you're Ms. Moneybags and wants in on the profits.
Checking the Coop, Bobbi was surprised to see that her chickens had grown up and laid eggs already! They weren't altogether happy about Bobbi fetching the eggs from their makeshift nests but she kind of threw some hay at them to distract and dashed out of the coop with only a minimum of pecked hands and knees. These boots work better on the chickens than the slimes!
Heh, Cooper. Finally living up to the family name.
OK, I could make some omelets. If I had a kitchen. Robin knew this would happen, sell you the gateway building and then hook you for the rest of the notably more expensive upgrades. I don't even remember what the Barn goes for but that ain't gonna be cheap!
Wait. Wait waitwait... There's a thingy thing for eggs, what was it? Checking her notepad, Bobbi found her previously dampened Mayo machine notes from what felt like ages in the past, also known as two weeks in this new lifestyle. Finding the resources for it in her junk box, Bobbi knocked it out in a few hours and popped in her first egg, cranked the flywheel up to speed, and let it churn away. She absently wondered if part of the function of this thing was to bait a trap inside with the Earth Crystal, magically tricking, er... recruiting one of those Junimos to do the job manually in a hidden compartment inside. Sounds like something the Wizard would design just to spite them for remaining mute in his presence.
Leaving the Farm towards town, Bobbi mused that while it was almost pleasantly warm, this was certain to get worse before it got better. All the better to spend time at the beach or river. Or woods or Mine. Anything but the farm. Lol, Summer 1 and already a
On the way to town, Bobbi foraged up a berry-looking thing that had a sharp smell and she suspected an equally sharp taste. The type of thing that old people say reminds them of when they were young. When the world was black and white, Geology moved faster making the walk to and from school uphill both ways, and fruit was tart instead of sweet. I'll keep it as there's probably some nut here who likes them. Like Marlon. He's getting a tartberry cake for his birthday this year! Accompanying the berry was the rib-shaped skeletal remains of probably the last living thing to like them. Maybe they're poisonous and that's how this thing died, better confirm with Gunther first.
Bobbi picked her steel axe up from Clint and finally remembered to have him to crack open her pocketsful of geodes. Amongst other things, he grunted in the general direction of the Iridium Ore and Star Shards which suggested that these were reasonably good finds, and even offered Bobbi 500g for the Shards when Bobbi mentioned she'd take the new stuff to Gunther. She told Clint she'd hold on to them for now while checking the prices for Summer seeds at Pierre's but she's probably be back for 500g.
Clint knows me too well, he'll have his Star Shards before the day is out.
Bobbi hopped over to the Archaeology Library and dropped off Jade, Aquamarine, and a Frozen Tear, which to her surprise netted her a couple of donations. One was a pretty cool standing open-cut Amethyst Geode which would look great in a house that had... nice things in it. And the other was a painting called Night on Eco-Hill, which was pretty, um...
Green.
It was unsigned and gave the impression that perhaps someone had donated it both out of the goodness of their heart, and as the first thing they parted with after deciding to declutter the house. Thinking of her small, bare walls, Bobbi decided that hanging it had a chance of being a small net positive.
Thanking Gunther while blocking the faint glow from the undonated Star Shards, Bobbi closed her pack and perused the country life book set in the Library for new ideas and interesting things. She took notes on recipes for treats, lunches, a Bee house (fun!), a Life Elixir (!), fishing lures, rings, and some Foraging strategies to find better quality items. But this kind of stuff always threatened to put her to sleep no matter how interesting it was, as the room proceeded to enclose around her into a tiny, warm bubble and the rest of reality slowly faded into the mental distance.
...
Breaking out of this doldrum, Bobbi remembered that it was still planting day and she had no seeds yet. Barely awake but forcing her limbs to do walking-type motions, she headed out for Pierre's. Inside, Gus and Marnie were browsing his selection, not all of which looked unfamiliar to Bobbi.
"Oh, hi Bobbi," Marnie said, "How have you been getting along with your chickens? They should be laying by now if they're happy."
"Actually I got 2 eggs just this morning!" Bobbi said more excitedly than she anticipated, probably still trying to break out of the strange warm-Library induced malaise.
"That's wonderful, you must be treating them very well," Marnie said with a beaming smile. "If you're kind to animals, they'll love you back. Oh, and if you ever end up with extra eggs, my nephew is always interested. It's been nice to have him around these past few months and he really helps out with the chickens. Hi Gus, making anything interesting with those parsnips?"
"Ah well," Gus started, "you'll just have to wait and see what flavors I can add and extract from it. Of course I'll need a few other things but it's a secret, no peeking!" He wagged a mock admonishing finger at Marnie and covered the rest of his basket. "If I give all my secrets away then what do I have left to sell?"
"Ambience, friends, Friday half-price drinks..." Marnie started listing off.
"Half price! Nice try but my happy hour prices are cut to the bone as it is." Gus turned to Bobbi. "However you could visit more often and maybe get to know everyone better. The more time you spend the more you hear, one of the benefits of the Saloon." Marnie gave him a slightly guarded glance but he continued on, "but I don't hold on to all my culinary secrets. Come on by and we can discuss cooking and recipes!"
"Ok Gus I really want to do that," Bobbi said earnestly, "but I don't even have a kitchen in my house yet. The farmhouse is barely more than a walk-in closet with an indoor outhouse."
Both of their mouths stood ajar for a second or two, staring at Bobbi.
Marnie recovered first. "No cooking?" She paused. "What do you eat?"
"Gaspacho?" Gus offered. "That's pretty good!"
"Uhhhh... Salmonberries and spring onions?" Bobbi paused. What do I eat? "Oh, and field snacks! They're like granola." Bobbi's brain was blanking on her.
"...they're granola-colored." Bobbi paused again. "They have calories I need." Wow. No wonder you left your phone service job. Good thing you didn't work in advertising or Joja'd be out of business.
Marnie put her arm around Bobbi, saying, "Now Miss Bobbi, please take a bit of advice from a fellow rancher and get a kitchen installed in that farmhouse so you can enjoy some of the nicer things in life. What was your grandfather thinking? Country life isn't all scraping by with the minimum, you need some spice in your life."
"Yes, without spice your food is dull and boring and nobody wants that," agreed Gus.
"OK, I promise I'll do that," Bobbi agreed. "I probably need to get more wood and things as I'm fresh out from the coop and silo. But as soon as I can deforest the rest of my farm, I'll go see Robin!"
"Oh it's good to hear your animals are so well loved, you bought them a house before one for yourself!" Marnie said, looking relieved. "I needn't have been worried. Take care, dear!"
"Yes, take care and come see us," said Gus.
Why did I buy the animals a house before me? Well OK I technically had one first but it's still the same railroad boxcar I moved in to, even though Robin's pushed nice upgrades that I can almost afford.
Ah yes, the almost afford bit. That's gonna get worse...
Bobbi bought 28 melon seeds, hops, corn and pepper and made for home to plant and water them as she was worried the Ancient Fruit was getting lonely and considering ending it's life from sheer boredom. A few hours of sweet vegetable companionship later and the furrowed patch of soil near the house looked almost like it was tended by someone who knew what she was doing.
Passing by the mayo machine Bobbi noted that it was done, or at least stopped. Collecting it, she thought she could sell it at Pierre's for g and melon seeds. This brought out the businesswoman in Bobbi and she decided that those Star Shards really did need a cozy home in Clint's shop and Clint's g needed a cozy home in Pierre's pockets in exchange for even more seeds. And sure, some other stuff.
On the way to making that happen, she came across Haley enjoying a chat with Alex at an ice cream stand outside of Clint's shop which Bobbi swore hadn't been there before. Maybe Alex just set it up for the summer? Maybe I'm just unobservant? Weigh the possibilities: Alex doing something constructive, me not paying attention... hmmm, close call. Alex gets the benefit of the doubt as I know myself too well and I'd totally miss something like that!
Both of them were having a discussion about different methods of summer tanning and asked if Bobbi would be joining them at the beach. She responded that as a paying guild member, she was contractually obligated to sport a raging red Farmer's tan at all times and couldn't join them. Alex was clearly confused but Haley let out a giggle and a "you silly farmer girl!" as Bobbi departed back to Pierre's.
OK, spread this out a bit and not go entirely for monoculture. Blueberry, tomato, sunflower, maybe some wheat. But yeah, 6 more melons, please! Purse empty but seed bag full, Bobbi remembered the Community Center where there should be a summer forage slot, and maybe some of the leftovers from the Mine would fit somewhere.
The shiny but not actually gold thing from days before was a solar essence, which completed the Adventurer's Bundle, netting a gift that was engraved as a Small Magnetic Ring. Ehh, not too small as it barely fit her middle finger and slid off the others. I guess the Big Magnetic Ring can go around my ankle. Soooooo... does this thing add to my naturally magnetic personality? I'll be the most popular person in town! Yeah but with my luck, it'll have the opposite polarity and everyone will run away. Well, at least I'll get more done.
Whoa, whoa Bobbi, slow down there, there's no need for crazy talk! I'm sure with the right application, this thing will only result in less work for me. Whew, dodged a bullet there!
Finding the summer forage bin, Bobbi deposited the spice berry she'd found with only a little regret as she knew there would be many more this season, all with Marlon's name on them. Only grape and sweet pea were left and that bundle would be done, too!
On the way back to the farm at dusk to plant by the fading late evening summer light, Bobbi realized she hadn't given any gifts for a while and that there might not be any daffodils around any more. I wonder who likes grape (who doesn't??) and sweet pea?
...
Bobbi.
What—
have you been doing with your day?
You have a shiny new steel axe and haven't chopped a thing with it yet!
Hacking at the big logs on the farm, the axe didn't quite make quick work of them (heh, quick work, what an oxymoron...) but they did succumb to the sweet shiny sharpness and one even left an odd seed which she planted. That'll be that magic beanstalk I'm looking for.
And then she remembered. A rare and special occurrence to be treasured and then lost amidst the encroaching jumble of daily life. The log in the woods. The Log.
Hastening to Cindersap and hacking away at it almost before she got there, she passed through the newly-exposed narrow cleft between the stone and clumps of trees and came upon an almost-clearing. Feebly lit by the waning three-quarters moon, she could see many old dead hardwood stumps amongst the overgrowth of trees, and small clearing further away.
Wandering in, she was met by...
an old friend...
with a warm, slimy hug.
Bobbi failed to jump out of her clothes in fright and surprise because that would have actually solved the slimy problem. Instead she flailed about with the axe before extracting her sword from its straps in her pack and proceeded to flail about with that weapon until the slime was no more. ...than a slick all over her. So what color will the hair be tomorrow then?
More carefully now, Bobbi advanced, peering into the dark recesses of the forest. Which seemed to be made of nothing but those recesses. Dark ones. This place needs a lighting consultation. And why does everything feel like it's moving?
Carefully avoiding the moving bits, which conveniently cut down her options, she made it to the clearing where there was an old statue with an open mouth and a plaque below it, stating "Old Master Cannoli - still searching for the sweetest taste..." And an outline of... something. A blob. A slime? A vegetable.
This place is weird. And the only reason I don't just dismiss this as a joke from Marlon is I know he's too lazy to make it all the way over here. But then there's the Wiza—
Whack! Another slime came up from behind and got Bobbi on the head. Seriously what's with the head? Sword ready this time, Bobbi recovered more quickly and was ready for a third which clearly was jealous that its sisters were getting all the good hits in. Extracting herself from a portable slime cage, Bobbi noticed a small pond while beating a hasty retreat to Cindersap proper and was left to wonder on her warm and slimy trot home whether there were any interesting fish in there.
dzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz...
The trot didn't last long as those noisy bugs were serenading her to sleep. Not even wanting to take the time to clean off while attempting to remain upright, she took a dip in one of the farm ponds which was almost disturbingly warm this time of year. Fish need to pee, don't they? Why are you thinking of that now?? OK fine, a quick rinse at the house and off to bed.
Seriously. That whole thing could have waited until tomorrow and you could have had a slime-free evening for once. Bobbi fell asleep wondering how often anyone else had to de-slime themselves before bed...
Emily doesn't need to do that does shzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
