7. warning: alcohol consumption, mature themes, swearing
Leah and I spend much of our free time together, she loves to sit and sketch near water. Which gives me a chance to practice fishing, forage, or sit quietly with her. I occasionally take out my mini harp and practice. We still talk for the water at times. But we love to sit and enjoy the sounds of nature most.
I notice she draws quick sketches of me doing various things. I like it and it makes me smile.
We love finding new spots for picnics all over the valley. We don’t talk about what “we are” we just are and love being together.
One such day we are enjoying a picnic, laughing and watching the critters. We quietly watch a woodpecker climb up and down a nearby tree looking for tasty treats.
The sun is nice and warm, it’s not too hot but just right, to where it doesn’t cook but more, hug you. I am thoroughly enjoying it with my eyes closed, laid out. I am about to ask Leah what she wants to do, when I open my eyes in time to see her leaning in to kiss me. I happily meet her half way, return the kiss and push her back onto the picnic blanket. We continue to kiss, Leah’s breathing grows slow and deep. I’m losing myself in the moment as my breathing slows, until we hear a twig snap loudly. We stop, eyes wide and we look around. I turn just in time to see a flash of purple disappear behind a bush. I put my mouth near Leahs ear “I just saw a flash of purple.” She sighs and I know the moment is over. I sit upright quickly my heart sill pounding and feeling embarrassed. We are both silent as Leah smooths her shirt and I nervously flatten parts of the rumpled blanket. Leah rights her braid. At this point the quiet is more awkward than companionable. We pack up the picnic.
“I’m just going to head home.” Leah says giving me a quick peck on the cheek. With picnic basket in hand she walks off. “Bye” I say weakly to her back. I know by her demeanor that following her is out of the question. What I don’t know is,
what the Yoba just happened, was it wrong of me to say anything? Maybe it hurt Leah that I saw purple. Should I have just kept going? I sit heavily in the grass staring off into the distance. I’m not feeling like doing anything in particular and nothing seems worth doing right now. I zone out.
I imagine if it were
her I pushed to the blanket, I catch myself smiling and instantly feel a pang of guilt. As I start one of my inner convos I hear footsteps approach and it’s none other than Abigail, ole purple head herself. I look at her weakly, turning red from embarrassment, I smile. “Hi, Purple Head, Out for a spy, I mean a walk?” I say, looking away from her into the forest. She sits quietly besides me, my heart skips a beat. As much as I try…. I can’t stop
that from happening. We continue to sit quietly. My mind is spiraling, why is everything so complicated. Why do
I have to make it so complicated.
“Honestly, I’ve never seen two girls going at it.” Abigail says out of nowhere, I turn slack jawed to her. “How do you know just what to say to unnerve me” I pull some grass up nervously and continue “I kinda like it.” I smile and turn red, she smiles back and turns red too. Oh sure I think to myself, continue to complicate the sh*t out of this, why not?
“You know… what I said in the clinic… Um I’m not pregnant. I know you’re not dumb you knew what I was going to say. I just wanted to tell you. That I’m not.” Abigail says looking a little embarrassed.
“You don’t need to clarify anything to me Purple Head, Your life is your life.” I turn to her and smile bigger than I intend. She looks back at me smiling too.
“Why doesn’t everyone feel that way about
MY life.” She says raising her eyebrows at me.
“I’dbettergo” I say standing up and dusting off my butt. I notice Abigail looks a little dejected. "Bye" I say hesitantly, I have a hard time leaving her. But I know I need to go talk to Leah.
I get to Leah’s and tell her that I can’t lose her friendship and that what we have as best friends is precious to me. It’s been very fun and felt so good. But I know that... I.. I like Abigail. Leah stays silent being very calm as she listens to me finish “I am sorry if I’ve hurt you Leah. It’s not what I planned….”
“I know…” Leah responds, “It
was fun and it felt good. I know Fey that you can’t get her out of your head. I knew it when I kissed you the first time, I kissed you anyway. I guess I wanted to try us, and I wanted to maybe take your mind off of her. We’ll be okay Fey” She paused “And when you saw her today I just got the sense that you are on
her mind too.”
We hug and I head home. Heartsick, I drag my feet the entire way and drop into bed. I dream of Purple and black lace…