The facial hair of the SDV fellas- Who's do you love? hate?

FairyRing

Farmer
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1. Lewie's moustache
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2. Shane's 5 o'clock
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3. Gus' curly 'tache
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4. Willy's thick full fishy beard
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5. (Aww look Harvey is embarrassed he's on this list)
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6. Linus' glorious beard probably has a bird living in it
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7. Clint's well kept goatee and mustache combo
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8. Gil's hella bristly probably a live critter living on his face beard.
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9. Marlon's very practical small goatee and larger soup strainer.
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10. Lastly is Razzie's excellently maintained purple probably glue on goatee.

Gunther and the Governor didn't make it on the list, as you can see our hands are already full with all this facial hair.
 

FairyRing

Farmer
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11. And the dashing Gunther yes it's a goatee it's been discussed. He even wears gloves to maintain the integrity of his artifacts.
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12. Governor Grimace and his grandpa's 'stache.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
1. Lewie's moustache
One day long long long ago, when a beanpole of a middle school lad went swimming too far out in the Gem Sea, he came upon a school of giant Tuna and because our young truant had once again 'misplaced' his Biology book for the 23rd time, he feared for his life. After all if people eat Tuna, then clearly Tuna must eat people.

It's only natural.

Swimming down, down below the roiling knot of fish, the feebled dancing sunbeams above dazzled his eyes and confused his brain, leaving his bare upper lip ripe for the picking. Deep beneath the waves, an outcast had been yearning for a new life above the depths. Eschewing its benthic habitat and lifting fleshy wings towards the enticing lights above, a dull gray sea slug launched itself into the topless beyond, searching for a new life.

As the Fates considered whether on this day any deserved more than disappointment, tummies rumbled. So they ditched work for an early lunch, rubber stamping the remainder of the morning's paperwork. Thus was a plain nudibranch released to dance through the waters on tickly grayed wings, ascending surfaceward towards ever-encircling sun-split shadows, wheeling and soaring until--

Splat!

Lewis was shocked out from his reverie just in time to realize the surface was rather farther above than planned and threw caution to the currents to face his certain toothy death at the feet fins of the Tuna above. But somehow made it to the surface anyway. Hmmm, he thought, they must have just eaten a shark or something so they're all in a food coma. Or maybe this thing still stuck to my face just saved me... My bad luck finally ran out and I have a good luck charm!

Back on dry land the young Lewis noted how distinguished he looked with a 'moustache', even a dull gray one, and decided to follow his dream of becoming a Titan of Industry.

He failed utterly. But still did better than his Mom ever expected with a mayoral job in nowheresville.

Conclusion: He's got a colorless mollusk on his upper lip. Yuk?

2. Shane's 5 o'clock
When Shane doesn't want to talk to you early in the morning and he's got the Shadow. When Shane doesn't want to talk to you just before the Saloon closes, he's got the same Shadow. The Shadow is always there. The Shadow surrounds his mouth.

The Shadow is controlling Shane.

Once long ago, there was a happy-well adjusted little boy who didn't hold a dark secret. Because he had no facial hair yet. And try though he might, through even high school, all he could muster was one of those wishful-thinking peach fuzz face things. It was a shame. No, not a Shane, you pay attention! Anyhow, much shaving ensued until one day the growth was complete, but then it started controlling his moods and generally made him unlikable but still clearly employable at JojaMarts. However his Aunt had borne witness to this family curse before and was duly prepared with a working ranch at the ready.

Upon arrival Marnie carefully started the Cow therapy with a little Sheep thrown in on the side. Later on, finding mutton and hamburgers on the evening's menu, she considered that maybe she got it wrong by introducing Shane to even furrier-faced animals than him. Maybe shoulda tried Pigs? Luckily Marnie was fostering Charlie and the Chicken Factory out back and a feathery-faced antidote was found. Daily doses, followed with Pepper Poppers, Pizza and Buh, where's the Joja Cola? worked to keep The Shadow at bay.

But not forever.....

Conclusion: always-present, always watching, creepy sentient extremely short but persistent facial hair is not FTW.




OK I'm tapped, hopefully more later...
 

Dr. eeL

Farmer
"Thus was a plain nudibranch released to dance through the waters on tickly grayed wings"

The above words have a beautiful flow to them, but . . . the genus Nudibranchia is filing an official complaint. All nudibranchs are beautifully colored. Most have a touch of blue, and certainly none would be caught dead looking a sickly gray. I was really cheering for the tuna.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
"Thus was a plain nudibranch released to dance through the waters on tickly grayed wings"

The above words have a beautiful flow to them, but . . . the genus Nudibranchia is filing an official complaint. All nudibranchs are beautifully colored. Most have a touch of blue, and certainly none would be caught dead looking a sickly gray. I was really cheering for the tuna.
Yeah, it started out as an ugly duckling thing but for sea slugs/nudibranchs, but it wasn't really going anywhere enough and the animal euphemisms started getting all mangled up, and I was running out of steam so I dropped that angle. I love nudibranchs and watching them swim.

But.

Nothing in the sea will ever approach the super-maxi-bestiness of cuttlefish. The only reason this planet contains water is for the creation and fostering of cuttlefish. All else are secondary effects.

Yes, even capybaras.
 

FairyRing

Farmer
Nothing in the sea will ever approach the super-maxi-bestiness of cuttlefish. The only reason this planet contains water is for the creation and fostering of cuttlefish. All else are secondary effects.

Yes, even capybaras.
Capybaras are also land dwelling creatures too, so they're outta the running anyway.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
Capybaras are also land dwelling creatures too, so they're outta the running anyway.
Capybaras are always out of the running because they cannot possibly be bothered to move in even a slightly concerned manner. The only living thing known to run or frankly even move at all less is Gil, the Honorary Grand Pooh-Bah Chieftan of the Local 23rd Ferngill Republic Order of Capybaras and winner of the Lifetime Achievement Award of -273 Celsius.
 

FairyRing

Farmer
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5. (Aww look Harvey is embarrassed he's on this list)
This is my favorite mustache because it's almost non-exsist. I've always liked Harvey's messy hair, his mustache never really crossed my mind . I bet it's a softish mustache and not prickly and scratchy (like that one uncle who used to run his stupid bristly face on my face) And with a little work he could curl the ends and make it the most fashionable lip cozy in the valley.
And look at that sweet face.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
where the heck did you get that? :grin:
Now this is a bit of a rabbit hole but only a little one, and it's a lot of fun. Go to the SDV Wiki and have a look at each of the bachelors and bachelorettes. At the bottom of each of their pages are the development pictures as they were added to the game, and a number of them really changed a lot over the course of development.

And Abby has the most of all, which I think you will enjoy. :heart:
 

FairyRing

Farmer
Now this is a bit of a rabbit hole but only a little one, and it's a lot of fun. Go to the SDV Wiki and have a look at each of the bachelors and bachelorettes. At the bottom of each of their pages are the development pictures as they were added to the game, and a number of them really changed a lot over the course of development.

And Abby has the most of all, which I think you will enjoy. :heart:
That's great you thought of that! I love it. I will have to check her... er I mean the wiki out.
 

Boo1972

Farmer
Take a look at Clint and Marlon. I mean really compare them side by side. Now, imagine Marlon’s hair is neater and cut shorter. Trim his mustache so it’s more manicured. Now, shave a few pounds off of Clint’s face. In you mind’s eye, compare them again. Marlon is an older version of Clint. An uncle perhaps? Maybe younger Clint just wanted to go hunting for treasure in the mines with Uncle Marlon, but his father, fearing for his safety, forced him to become a blacksmith. Now, all Clint can do is make weapons for his uncle and dream of joining him on adventures.

Or not. What do I know?

I actually like Linus’s beard the best as it seems most suited to his character. Clint’s is the runner-up, it’s nice and neat. Maybe he’s trying to be like Marlon.
 
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