Pierre’s Secret Stash (Spoilers)

Lew Zealand

Lew Zealand

Helper
It's a very secret note and sometimes you just need to keep some things hidden for the good of everyone.

As a young person, Pierre was brought up in ignorance of the existence of Stardew Valley by members of his extended family. However when he found the world around him a little on the mundane side, he left his half-hearted plans as a business major to find himself. His crazy uncle Jacques used to tell stories of a place where a shortage of Green Grocers had created a power struggle between local farmers and Joja Corp, even driving some sodbusters to leave the place. After some cajoling and proof of Uni withdrawal, Jacques invited Pierre to enter Stardew Valley.

After the requisite Spring 0 welcome and Robin's snide woodworking remark #6, he moved into the dilapidated General Store and asked other local farmers to allow him to sell their produce in a centralized location. All at a livable markup of course. He settled into town life, occasionally mailed old Turnips to Morris, met and married Caroline and they had a daughter. However towns will talk, and Marnie and others mentioned that there was also another strange outside influence in the Forest which had nothing to do with crop yields or those Leprechaun Shoes that keep dropping from passing trains.

The Wizard had always been something of an outcast in a seemingly outcast place, but rarely bothered anyone. However once noting that a New Guy had moved in and married one of the rare eligible persons at that time, he took an interest, occasionally prodding his estranged wife to buzz the 2-story house on the N. Plaza by saying he'd be there on the roof with the late alimony payments.

He's a bit of a prankster.

Caroline noted this and would occasionally stomp over to the Tower and confront his childish behavior, later on dragging little Abby along because Pierre couldn't possibly leave his post at the store. And then, well, people Marnie will talk and you know how those whispers go. Clandestine meetings and murmurs in the Stardrop Saloon were getting to be too much so Pierre finally headed over to see the Wizard.

He confronted the Wizard, demanding why he was behaving in such a way and that he stop. The Wizard countered that families always fight and bicker and that's just human nature. This set Pierre off.

"What do you mean families?! Are you saying that we're somehow magically a family?"

"There's no magic to it, Pierre, I should know."

"What do you mean? Is this about Abigail! So those rumors are true, are you her real father?!?"


"No Pierre, I am your father."





...........






"Um, OK then." "Could I get that in writing?"

"Yeah well, you see my ex-wife sorta suspected something fishy was going on a few decades ago so I'd rather that not get out. How 'bout you just keep that under your hat and I'm sure the rumors will die out--", he crossed his fingers behind his back, "once I stop egging on my worse half to TP your house. We good?"

"Just write it out here dad, just so I can look at it from time to time and really believe this is true!"

"Sure, Pierre."
"And don't call me 'dad'."
 

Purrmaid

Greenhorn
Odin said:
Hi everyone! I'm aware the vague nature of Pierre's stash leaves a lot to the imagination, but I would remind you all to avoid NSFW discussion and keep things family friendly per the forums rules. Thanks!
Click to expand...
Gotta say, there is plenty in the game that doesn't come off as especially "SFW" or "family friendly", so it's kind of asking for it to an extent! I mean come on, Lewis sending you into Marnie's bedroom to retrieve his boxers (like he can't get them himself next time he's in there...), asking you for truffle oil but specifying that you "don't ask what it's for"? That creepy gourmand frog wanting to tickle you with wheat because it reminds him of "a certain old girlfriend"? Ew.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top