Writing Evil Twin Betsy's diary

[Jayamos]

Spring 1 Year 4
I guess Harvey wasn't the only one on the farm with reproduction in mind. Rodolfo–should I call her Rodolfa? Rafaela?—gave birth to a piglet, now named Raoul regardless of sex.

I couldn't find any pepper poppers, but I had crab cakes, and they went to a good cause: speed buffs and upgraded tools make an easy day getting planting done. Strawberry fields forever, and a little veggie garden for stuff like potatoes for hashbrowns and kale to keep healthy sorts like Harvey happy. It's nice to see the Junimos' huts open again.

The farm is just as lush as I'd hoped.

The animals are all happy to get out. The pigs are already finding truffles, even though they have to wade through the greenery to get them.

Spring 3
The pasture is so well-grown already, almost overgrown, that I decided to scythe. Once a week-ish ought to have me well away from Marnie all winter, as lovely as she is. During our bachelorette, Leah said something about wanting to paint her, and I'm looking at Marnie through new eyes.

I kind of miss the magic of watching Elliott scythe, but every time I look at the passive-aggressive bedroom floor I get mad all over again. But then I think, actually, those massive flagstones kind of fit the farm. Maybe I need to get back to decorating. I should invite Emily over and see if she has ideas, though I don't know if her aesthetics run to interiors as well as clothing.

Spring 4
Harvey has the sweetest smile when he sleeps, as if all his anxiety is used up during the day and his happiness gets to emerge at nights. He makes me think of a curled-up cat, all bliss and coziness. The opposite of me, zipping through the day and getting the jitters at night. I tell myself I get to bed late because I'm working hard but that's not the only reason, or the most important.

Speaking of cats, Miso's been remarkably tactful. Every cat I've ever known has sprawled all over the bed regardless of any other critters on it, but with two people in the bed she usually takes to the upstairs rug.

Spring 6
I cleaned out the fridge yesterday and found a stash of truffle oil—what was I thinking? Nobody needs that much truffle oil. I added it to the weekly wine shipment and the shipping receipt this morning made me much happier than the actual oil ever could.

Ever since I talked to Krobus about slimes being like the deer of the mines, I've been remembering that some people raise deer for venison. That seems like a lot of effort for something that is so prolific, but... a while back as Robin was riffling through her blueprints she showed me one for a slime hutch. I need a little more refined quartz and then I can have her build one. And just see how it goes. They're kind of cute when they're not smearing themselves all over you.

Harvey is not going to be at all pleased about this. Maybe if I tell him it's a science experiment?

 

[Jayamos]

Spring 8 Year 4
Well, now I feel bad about missing Lewis's birthday. He sent me 500 g from the agricultural fund. It's been a while since I went to the saloon, I'll have to go down this week and buy everyone a round.

Spring 11
I ordered the slime hutch. Trying to figure out what to say to Harvey when he asks what all the commotion is at Quarry Hill.

Spring 12
Harvey hasn't said a word about the construction, whew. He can be a little distracted. I rode right past him the other day as he was coming home from work and he acted like he couldn't even see me.

My iridium wine finally matured! I was so busy adding casks and loading them up with cheese until my first summer starfruit crop that I forgot to go down to the saloon and celebrate. Maybe tomorrow.

Spring 13
Right, no pub crawls for the Egg Fest.

I congratulated Abi on winning the Egg Hunt once again. Or rather, I said, "You're still kicking my butt in the egg hunt!"

She said, "Bet I can still kick your butt at Journey of the Prairie King, too."

"I would lose that bet," I said, but I went back to her place and we played for a while, and my score was about 1/4 of hers. In a good round. Deet deet deet drrrrr was heard many times as my player disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"I hear you have dinosaurs on your farm," she said.

"Yes, they're my favorite," I said.

"Ummm... could I come see them?" she asked. "I've always wanted to see a dinosaur."

"Sure!" I said. "Just wear some old scuffed up boots. You could borrow a pair of mine but I think they'll be too big on you."

Someone wants to see my dinosaurs! I went home feeling happy. Worth getting my butt kicked.

Spring 14
Marlon came to the door with the inaugural slime egg: a big translucent ball as green and iridescent as a hummingbird's back. Harvey heard him and came out to say hi, but when he saw the egg he demanded, "What is going on here?"

"I'll just let you two have your little discussion," Marlon says, sidling down the steps at a rate that would have made a rock crab proud.

"Wait!" I say. "Tell him. It's not dangerous."

"Well, you can tell from the color of the egg what it's going to grow into and how dangerous it is. This one... even with your second best sword, it'll be a walk in the park. Third best, even." Marlon says, well out of range of our limbs.

"See?" I tell Harvey.

"Why are you even thinking about weaponry on this farm?" Harvey says furiously. For someone so anxious, he's mighty assertive.

"Oh, farming's all about weaponry," Marlon says. "Ask any outraged peasant with a scythe." The man has mastered the art of sidling.

"Peasant?" I say, outraged. By now he's nearly past Misty's stable.

"If you get a red one let me know and we can talk pens," he shouts, and takes off at a fine clip for someone so old and banged up.

Wimp.

"See?" I said to Harvey. "Look how healthy he is."

"Is that what that incredibly ugly building is?" Harvey asks. "I thought you were starting some kind of factory."

"Do not insult the farm buildings!" I say. "I like it, the purple is kind of iridescent. Like slimes. Aren't you going to be the pretty shimmery thing," I say to the egg.

"I can't believe you're doing this," he says.

"It'll be fine!" I say. "You heard him. Second-best sword, pens. Small second-degree chemical burns at worst, I'm sure."

He takes a huge deep breath. "It is your skin," he says, "but dressing burns is not really how I want to be taking care of it."

"Yeah?" I ask. "How would you like to take care of it?"

He blushes. "I'd explain but I'm late for the office!"

"You can explain tonight," I say. He gives me a wan smile, I hand him his coffee, I get a bigger smile, and he ambles off to work.

And I hightail it down to the new hutch and drop the egg into the incubator. Then I make a huge mess in the kitchen baking pink cake for Haley. It must be tasty, because all of a sudden, she's not just polite, she's actually friendly. Never thought that would happen.

 

[Jayamos]

Spring 15 Year 4
Marlon skedaddled off so fast I didn't have a chance to ask him how long it would take the egg to hatch. I got the chores done, then watched the incubator incubating for a few minutes—slightly more exciting than watching paint dry—then went up to the mines. Guess who got enterprising and moved the crystallariums (crystallaria?) and went and traded every single ruby for Spicy Eel?

So I bashed dust sprites for a while and then went down to floor 85 to see if I could find a ruby. No luck, but I had fun.

Spring 16
Hah, got my ruby. And a burglar ring! Marlon says my slime should hatch in a day or two. I have a blue egg for the incubator already.

Harvey hasn't been upset about me going to the mines, possibly because I haven't told him and anyone could pick up a minor abrasion chopping down trees or petting dinosaurs.

Spring 17
Perfect luck day, and I was feeling ready from a couple of days' practice, so off I went to Skull Cavern. Not without kissing Harvey goodbye, though. He made me breakfast! I grabbed it, said, "Thanks hon, gotta run!" and desert-totemed away.

I still haven't made it down to floor 100 and I'm definitely going to have to up my game to do it but for the first time I passed out, not from serpent damage, but from staying out till 2. Note to self: do not place a bomb at 1:50 AM; it's a waste of a good bomb. There's nothing like hearing a bomb go sssssss interminably as your eyes close against your will and your body crumples from exhaustion.

I'm pretty sure Harvey knew why I was out so late. The smell of gunpowder must have told him something. At least the bomb didn't do me much damage.

When Linus carried me in, though, Harvey woke up just enough to ask, "Want to have a baby?" I guess that means I'm forgiven.

I'm still not ready but for the first time the no wasn't immediate. I actually had to think about it for a couple of seconds.

He'd be a great dad. I'm not so sure about myself as a mom.

Spring 18
My slime hatched yesterday, but I was so excited about going to SC that I didn't go visit it. Today I was so exhausted from my run that I slept in for a while. When I woke up I was still holding onto a bomb and nearly exploded my mining chest putting it away. But when I went upstairs to pet Miso, seeing the fish in the aquarium and the butterflies flying around the house perked me up. I felt a little wistful seeing the crib and the little beds, though.

Slimes by themselves are way less threatening. "D'awwww! Who'sa little glimmery ball of goo?" I said to little Genghis. Of course Genghis immediately slimed me thoroughly. And then he did it again. I was dripping with it.

Fortunately his slime isn't very strong yet. It was kind of like a sunburn coming on. I took a quick cold swim in the pond below Quarry Hill and changed my clothes and it was fine.

Spring 19
Harvey was cooking again! He's almost as messy as me. He's not as adventurous a cook as Elliott but it's good tasty stuff. The road to my heart is definitely through my stomach. The dashing aviation instructor and the reckless but enthusiastic flight student had a fine time after, too.

Spring 20
I feel like a terrible slime rancher. I was practicing my sword blocks with Genghis, and he seemed to be really into it, red-eyed and rocketing all over the place, when all of a sudden he made that moaning sound they do and dissolved into a puddle.

I didn't realize the blocks hurt him! Maybe their eyes get red when they're in pain. I should have noticed he was sort of eroding each time. I don't know if it's a lack of finesse on my part or if he kind of wrapped around the blade when I hit him. I'll be more careful with Genghis Blue.

I went down to the beach to fish for a while and bumped into Elliott, who asked me how my "new farm" was going. I guess he really doesn't remember, which is weird, but whew. It sure makes the beach more comfortable.

Then I stopped by the saloon and tentatively brought Shane pepper poppers for old times' sake. He seemed just as pleased as ever with them, but he didn't want to chat. Still, he wasn't surly, so I'm calling it good.

Harvey and I go through so much coffee between us that I gave in and bought some from Gus. It'll be nice to enjoy the top-notch stuff, anyway. Then I hung out with Leah for a bit. I asked her if she'd had that discussion with Kel and she didn't want to talk about it, but she says Marnie is going to sit for her. "I kind of had to talk her into it, but I told her it's just for me to get better at portraiture and nothing's going to a gallery without her consent," she said. She had a vibe I couldn't quite figure out, but I'm glad she and Marnie came to an agreement. I know Lewis takes Marnie for granted and maybe it'll be good for her to have someone really trying to see her.

 

[Jayamos]

Spring 22 Year 4
Genghis Blue hatched out. I don't feel quite so bad about Genghis Green. He looks like the sun on the sea and is as mean as a snake, but dodgeable.

Harvey said, "Are you sure about this raising slimes business?"

"Not sure about the business part of it, but the raising slimes, yes," I said.

He sighs. "I get so worried for you. I've been trying to keep it down, but every time I'm at the clinic I worry you'll be carried in on a stretcher."

"I've hardly been mining at all since we got married!"

"Right, except for that time where Linus had to carry you home last week."

"I was fine!" I said. "Just got tired." I don't tell him about the two other times I was in the mines.

He sighs again. He's looking really sad. "Do you see a future where you don't go mining?" he asks.

"No," I say. "It's what I do, it runs in the family." I show him the two massive pickaxes that were on the wall when I inherited the house. "Mining is like the family heirloom."

"How do you think we would start a family with you going and getting injured in the mines?" he said.

"My grandfather did it just fine!" I tell him.

I'm feeling pretty huffy, so I go to the beach, where I discover Haley in a snit. It about matches mine. I say something tactless, she gets mad, I realize that she's at least as gorgeous mad as cheerful.

Anyway, I help her out, she gives me an enormous hug and... heart eyes?! and my knees get wobbly.

I'm beyond thoughtful on my way home, in a fizzy kind of way.

Spring 24
The flower fest, and Haley's constant practicing seems less self-absorbed and more like someone who cares about what she does. I've been wanting to get spring decorations for the front of the house. I get a couple of flower tubs; they look great.

When I go up to Harvey he says he's looking for someone to dance with, which is pretty odd when he asked me yesterday, and when I call him on it he says yes immediately, and tells me I look radiant, and sounds sincere. Good save, Harvey.

When we go home I say, "So, dashing aviation instructor Harvey, shall we have another lesson?"

And he says, "As much as I enjoy being a dashing aviation instructor... couldn't I just be Harvey the doctor after a nice day?"

And I look at him in shock. Because (a) I don't really want him to just be Harvey the doctor and (b) I hear myself telling Elliott I just want to be my human self and (c) Harvey worries about me just the way I worried about Shane.

He gulps. He frowns. He gets out of bed and walks around for a moment, pulling his hair. Finally he sits back down on the bed, facing me. "Right then. Shall I go get the divorce papers drawn up, or will you?"

I gulp back. But the answer's obvious. He's the one who's hurting more, and I can't not hurt him. Worse, I have been in exactly the pain I'm causing him, and I should know better. Not to mention that he's shown me the clinic's bottom line and he's just scraping by.

"You are the sweetest, kindest person I know. That's not going to change." I tell him. "But you're right, and I'll do it."

Spring 25
The deed is done. The next time I'm in Skull Cavern I need Harvey to have all his professionalism available if I do get carried in on a stretcher, so as soon as I got out of Lewis's house, Misty and I galloped up to the witch's house to make the appropriate offering. I kept telling myself it's kinder to him. At least this way he won't keep worrying.

But it turns out the offering isn't accepted until the divorce is final. I couldn't face Harvey and went down to level 5 in the mines and broke rocks until I couldn't lift my pick any more. Linus, who is apparently the guardian of all mines, got me home again.

On the way to Lewis's I bumped into Haley, of all people. For a little while she got me out of my funk, clowning around with her camera. I used to think she was a total ice queen, but it must be her way of not giving herself away too quickly. She must have had to beat suitors off with a stick, and I can't blame her for wanting to get to know people before she lets her guard down. Once she does, she is way, way more fun than I thought.

Another huge hug. More heart eyes. More weakness in my knees.

And then even Penny is flirty with me... it's like they knew why I was on my way to Lewis's.

Spring 26
Waking up by myself, without Harvey's hobby room, was really painful. I dragged through the busiest morning of my week. My inventory is a disaster, I got my iridium cheese out of the casks but didn't get the gold cheese in, I got my ancient fruit picked after a lot of shuffling things in and out of chests...

But when I checked my mail there was a polite-but-warm note from Haley. Much more formal than how she was yesterday—she's complex.

And she smells good, and she's beautiful, and she cheered me up...and the next thing you know I'm on my way to Pierre's for a marriage bouquet, whether or not I've got my wine decanted.

And bouquet delivered, and she was all formal again, but she accepted it.

And offering accepted at the statue, so now I can live my life.

I managed to get the wine bottled and shipped, but tomorrow I have got to get organized.

Spring 27
Emily's birthday, so after I got my inventory sorted I went down to the saloon, gave her my most beautiful aquamarine, got her fantastic smile, and said, "Um, Emily... I'm ah, um, could I... your sister..."

Her smile went a little sideways, but she said, "Haley told me already, and she's grown, sort of, and if it makes her happy... I'm... happy for you both." This may have been the first time I've seen that sunny smile clouded. Not exactly the response I wanted, but it's probably the response I deserved.

Then I bought Leah a beer and said more confidently, "It didn't work out with Harvey, you were right, but now I'm dating Haley."

"Haley!" she says, eyebrows shooting up to her hairline.

"I'm missing a woman's charms and she most definitely has them," I say.

"She does that," Leah says, shaking her head and chuckling. "But this is a quick turn-around, even for you."

"Love at first sight?" I say.

"Whenever I fell in love at first sight they were disaster incarnate," she says. "I swear by the slow burn these days. Besides, you've known her for years now."

"It's just hard to get past that shiny surface. I feel like this is the first time I really looked at her. Did you fall in love with Kel at first sight?" I say.

"Um. Well, lust for sure," she says.

"See? I did not fall in love with Kel at first sight. So this is OK."

"That is some impressive grasping at straws you are doing," she says, "But I wish you all the luck in the world. I have to say, having a front row seat for your love life is never boring."

I raise my beer. "To exciting friends," I say.

"To exciting friends," Leah says.

 

[Jayamos]

1 Summer Y4
I got everything planted so quickly (starfruit, a few melons) that I had time to go into town and give Haley a sunflower. On the way I accepted Demetrius's rainbow trout challenge. Time to redeem myself after the tilapia debacle.

2 Summer
A female slime has hatched! Now I have Genghis Blue and Lucrezia Green. They were jiggling comfortably together in the corner by the incubator and then all of a sudden Genghis got amorous and the next thing I knew I had a tiny slime the color of its daddy.

I don't know why Demetrius thinks there are too many rainbow trout. If you ask me, it's the sunfish that are overpopulating. The pike don't seem to be having any trouble reproducing either.

After sundown I went to talk to Marlon about pens, just in case. "You have a male and female?" he said. "You need to make fencing them in top priority! Those things breed like rabbits." I went away wondering why he was making such a fuss. My rabbits lead lives of monk-like celibacy. If he said guppies, I would be worried, but the slime love this morning must be a one-off.

3 Summer
Marlon should have said guppies!

The day started off well. Abi came over to see the dinos! The goth girl look works for dino-tending, she had good tough boots on. I took her up to Dino Hill and they were not shy about meeting her. She immediately understood how to pet them: grab a fin and shake hands with it. Soon she was surrounded by dinos making that little croak-caw they do when they're happy, and she started laughing, and I had such an intense deja-vu feeling.

She saw the slime hutch and of course she wanted to see it. "Are you sure?" I said. "They're not cute and nice like the dinos. Their reason for living is sliming you, and it can really do some damage." I roll up my pants and show her the permanent tiny-slime rash.

"I can handle that," she said.

"OK," I said, "but I'm going in first, and if I say run, run."

I drew my sword, we went in, and we were swarmed. There were at least four of them, and the babies are like little rattlesnakes, full of venom and empty of control. "Run!" I yelled. I slashed at them and the next thing I knew Lucrezia Green had deflated into a puddle of goo and Abi had plunged into the middle of the swarm, slashing away with something that looked like a kitchen knife. "Run OUT!" I yelled again, she kept slashing, I yelled, "WHAT are you DOING?!?" and she finally looked up and I practically screamed, "OUT!!" and did my best to hold the slimes back while she slogged gooily out the door.

"Eeuurgg," I gasped after I slammed and barred the door behind us, "now we" wheeze "wash off in the pond." Huff. Puff. "The sooner you get the gunk off the less scarring."

"That was fun!" she said, panting. "I think I drew blood from one of them. Or slime." Then she caught my eye. "Oops. I guess damaging the livestock is being a bad guest. I'm sorry. I got all caught up in the excitement and wasn't thinking."

I shook my head, chest still heaving. "I just accidentally killed the second one of my slimes, so I can't blame you. But your parents will kill me if you come home damaged. Wash up for Yoba's sake!"

"I barely know you!" she said. "I'm not getting undressed like this."

"Oh, I just hop in, the clothes need a wash too," I said, demonstrating with a splash. "Once we get the worst of it off you can borrow some of my stuff and finish up with my sink. Believe me, you don't want to bring that crud into your house." At that point I could see her calculating the impact of slimed clothes on her parents, and she joined me in the pond.

Once we were halfway clean I said, "Slime ranching is fun."

"Yeah, I could do that all day," she said, grinning, and splashed me.

4 Summer
I went down to the beach to look for rainbow shells. Things are going well with Haley and I can feel a bout of tailoring coming on. Alex was there and we had the weirdest emotional whiplash event. First he's acting like he barely knows me and getting macho about his gridball obsession, and then he gets all emotional and tells me his life story, and I start to understand why he lives with his grandparents and how the gridball obsession started. Even he has emotional knots to untangle. So many people in this town seem different once you get to know them.

I really want to get this fishing done—I hate to overpromise and underdeliver, and I've already done it once with Demetrius—but I'm pretty preoccupied with the slime situation, so after sundown I went home and tried to install fencing.

Fencing slimes is just exactly as hard as you would expect, especially since they mature quickly and start having more slimes. I hate to admit it, but Harvey wasn't wrong. These guys are dangerous, and I kept randomly plopping down posts and then running out so I could get a snack in. I still don't have anything you could call a pen. More I've learned what not to do. I'll keep trying. Orneriness (mine) for the win.

6 Summer
Catherding is a snap compared to slimeherding, but finally I managed to get a ridiculously overbuilt fence done with me on one side of it and the slimes on the other. I really want to get a creditable fence done before I propose to Haley. I don't think she'll be insistent on going into the slime hutch, and if she is I can just refuse to let her in, but I'd like to give her the whole tour if she wants it without fearing for our lives.

I keep thinking this would be easier with someone to help, and I keep seeing Abigail slashing away—if I could show her how to knock these guys back... yeah, I'm sure Pierre and Caroline would be thrilled by such goings on.

Anyway, I got those trout, so Demetrius and I are best buds now.

8 Summer
Now trying to get the slime fence to look like it was built by someone who knew what they were doing. I try to clear the slimes away from the next spot for a fence panel, slam it down as soon as there's space, try to lure the slimes away from the next spot, fail, dash/slog out so I can eat/wash, go back in hoping they're in a slightly more scattered configuration, install a gate, rinse, repeat. They love running around in little gangs, and garlic oil doesn't phase them one bit. I could strangle Marlon, why didn't he say something about getting a fence up before I had multiple slimes? Because he was intimidated by Harvey. Some people are just deathly afraid of doctors, I guess.

Marlon did at least mention doubling the gates--but even so one of them leaped on through even though I thought I got both gates closed. So it's palpitating menacingly right at the door and I have to figure out how to get it back in with its companions.

I need to have a life, I'll take care of the slime fencing as I can. But Haley's gone strangely quiet and I need to get some time with her and find out how she really feels.

 

[Jayamos]

9 Summer Y4
I went to see Haley... and apparently all this canoodling with men has lost me all my skill with women. I forgot to bring her anything—in peak sunflower season—and I was trying to be too nice. Finally I said, "Look, could we just pretend none of this happened and have a do-over?"

"That has to be better than how things are now," she huffed.

"OK, hang tight there, I'll be right back," I said.

"Like I don't have anything better to do besides wait for you."

"Do what you need to do!" I said. "But I'll be back soon and hopefully things will be more fun for both of us."

So. Freshened up—a good facewash and another cup of espresso really woke me up—returned with sunflower, knocked on her door with as much confidence as I could muster.

And things were much more fun. For both of us.

Really, it's like riding a bicycle.

10 Summer
Finally have the slimes corralled, more or less. I still don't feel like it's really working but at least I could bring Haley in to see them without fearing she'd immediately get injured. If she even wanted to see them. Maybe if I tell her they're shimmery she'll be interested. Fascinating lighting effects, I could tell her. They do look amazing in changing light, too.

12 Summer
Would Haley care about casks? No. I care about casks. Apparently I care about them so much that I used up an entire rain totem to... go chop wood for casks. While the Old Mariner stood marinating in the downpour all day. By the time I finally regained my senses he left for warmer climes or a hot toddy.

13 Summer
Brain engaged. Mariner accosted. And Haley and I engaged. I could spend hours just inhaling the smell of her hair.

14 Summer
With Haley almost here it's about time I did something about getting that water obelisk so we could zip down to the beach any time. I'm short on clams so I went down there to forage. Leah was there too, painting. I told her the news and she looked amused. "What?" I said. "This is serious."

"Hope springs eternal," she said.

"You're my friend! You're supposed to be supportive."

"I am your friend! And as your friend... I have to ask, do you have anything at all in common with her?"

"We both like cows?" Although the cows are maybe my least favorite animal on the farm. They're nice, but it's not like they are fuzzy like the rabbits or fluffy like the chickens or full of personality like the dinos. They're just there. Reliable.

"Ooookay... well, at least she likes something about your farm. She just seems like a downtown kind of girl."

"Fair," I said. "But maybe she's looking for a different kind of life. Now that she's matured and all."

"Maybe," Leah says. "Maybe. Anyway, I truly wish you all the happiness in the world."

She's good enough not to say this might not be the best way to find it.

But then I think of the smell of Haley's hair and I'm sure it'll be all right.

 

[Jayamos]

15 Summer Y4
I go find Emily for an emergency tailoring discussion.

"Before I help you out here, I want to get one thing clear: you hurt my sister and I'll kill you," she says, brandishing her scissors. Those are some impressive scissors and for a moment I wonder if they'd be effective against my slime problem.

"Oh, who am I kidding," she says. "Look, just be good to her, okay? I don't want her coming back here heartbroken. She's more sensitive than you'd think."

"I don't want her heartbroken either," I say. "And, in the short term, she's going to be a gorgeous bride, and I want to be the best looking me I can be to complement her."

That gets a real smile out of Emily, and after looking through patterns she says, "I think she's drawn to your more masc side, how about this suit and tie combo?"

"I think I'd look pretty spectacular in that."

"Kind of a Sara Ramirez look, right?" she says, and I feel a little giddy for a moment. I've always secretly thought, if you look at me at just the right angle, I could look like Sara Ramirez.

"Sounds good to me!" I say.

Then I go off to the Adventurer's Guild to have it out with Marlon about the slime hutch. There's got to be an easier way. He explains some options for flooring and brings out some fence designs but also says, "Look, if you can get the slime populations down in the mines I have something for you. You wouldn't need to worry about getting in there with them."

"How far down?" I ask. He shows me some figures.

"Urrggg, that's a lot," I say.

"I'm sure a tough cookie like yourself can get that figure down in no time," he says.

Well, maybe. So I spend my bachelorette night hunting down slimes. At this rate it'll take how many days? Better not to think about it.

But I did spiff up before the big day tomorrow.

16 Summer
Well. Lewis sure can be repetitive.

And Haley and I are possibly the cutest couple ever! We stroll around the farm arm in arm. I don't even suggest slimes. The Junimos are happy, jumping up and down to see Haley, and she likes them too. It's too bad you can't pet them. She likes the rabbits, is indifferent to chickens, pets the cows' noses and scratches the pigs' backs. Like everyone but Abi, she prefers to enjoy the dinos at a distance.

"If farming is always like this, we'll have a great time!" she says.

Definitely not showing her the slime hutch any time soon. I went down to check on them a few days ago and one of them slipped through the gate again. Turns out I can't brandish a sword and close a gate at the same time.

So I spend a good chunk of my wedding evening hunting slimes... and duggies, just for kicks... but I make sure to get home in good time.

17 Summer
Haley was a little nervous. "I've never done this with a woman before."

"We'll just take it nice and easy to start out," I say. "First some kisses here... and here... and here..." She starts giggling. To no one's surprise she gets into the groove quick. "A lionness," I say, and she preens a little. I fall asleep with my face buried in her hair. Oh, I could definitely get used to this.

This morning she asked, in all seriousness, if I slept all right, because she says I was snoring a little. I was? No one's said anything about it before. "Slept great," I said.

"Well, I have some chores to do," she said. "Have fun with the cows!" Does this mean someone will actually clean house? I wonder.

Turns out it does. The word "sparkle" now applies more than "grimy". I remember her arguing about chores with Emily. Is she just more mature? House proud now that it's our house and not her parents? Or in love?

I'll take that last one.

Today I managed to remember to bring Sam a birthday present—poor Alex was totally forgotten the other day—and bought the Water Obelisk. I'm not sure I like its placement, but I'm looking forward to beach days with my sweetie.

18 Summer
This offer of Marlon's really puts me on the horns of a dilemma. I'm tempted to just redesign the hutch, slaughter the ones I have, and put down flooring and reconfigure the gates in peace. Or I can slaughter about 50 times as many as I actually have. Somehow killing slimes I could name, if I could tell them apart, seems worse. Stranger slimes, well, I remember what Krobus said about slimes being like deer, overpopulating at a moment's notice, and somehow it feels OK to do them in. I wonder what they eat? Do other monsters get pushed to the margins because there are too many slimes?

Anyway, I'm down in the mines all day and don't get home till Haley's fast asleep.

19 Summer
Aaannddd that's 96 kegs of starfruit wine started. I just need to remember to cask them up next week.

20 Summer
Along with the slimes, I've been killing duggies and collecting cherry bombs... and turns out Marlon has a prize for duggie eradication, too. I feel like a professional miner in my new duds, not just a dedicated amateur wearing a snapback.

Plus the slimes make such a satisfying splodgy sound when they finally pop.

21 Summer
So much for beach days. Where did all those haunted skulls come from?? On level 12, for Yoba's sake. They're nearly as bad as serpents for swarming you, and me with my second-best sword. I was so embarrassed when Linus brought me to. Fortunately all I lost was the snapback, having forgotten my pro safety gear.

"You're all bloody!" Haley said when I limped back home. "You poor dear," scrubbing me off. Once I was more or less cleaned up she looked over my scars and cuts and said, "Hmmmm... you look like you'd be good at playing pirate, want to?" and winked.

I think of Elliott, I think of Harvey, and I say, "Would you still love me if I weren't a pirate?"

"Silly! I already love you when you aren't a pirate," she says.

"In that case... aaarrrr!" I say.

Bring on those skulls, I guess.

 

[Godkin]

I don't intend to disturb your diary, just want to praise,
As the evil twin, Betsy plays out of the ordinary.
He's the farmer Joja who wields unusual powers,
Mining diligently, unlike my early farmers who were hesitant.
However, the main thing, he married single and single,
So that I can watch every scene, unstoppable.
(All four I will marry on different farms)
Emotional arc marrying everything tickles my mind,
This is it, the soap opera Evil Twin Betsy, in this diary a mysterious story is intertwined.

 

[Jayamos]

I appreciate the praise @Godkin, and I’m curious. It sums up my original post about the goals of the farm, and the diary. Did you run that post through chat GPT or something?

 

[Jayamos]

[Original message removed]

But I can’t tell if Godkin read the diary or just the first post. So I don’t really know if it is sincere. Because it’s just quoting my post back to me, I don’t understand why they posted. Someone who had actually read it might say, ”I never thought of slimes as beautiful” or “I see Elliott very differently, here’s how,” or even just “I love dinos too.” Just four words but then I know they read it and found something they liked or even just had a reaction to.

[Original message removed]

More that it’s a mix of language that I used and quite different language, as if someone fed the original post into an AI and said “rewrite it in X style” and posted the result. Or translated it into another language and then translated it back.

I tried out Replika AI for a little while, and it was good at asking questions and mirroring back what I said, but it didn’t have anything of its own to say. So I got bored, as @Axka said. What makes the forum fun is seeing how people respond to the game and all the different ideas they have about it and the different ways they have to play it, or the fan art that adds so much imagination to the game. Things I never would have thought of but are really interesting, not just mirroring what other people say or summarizing the wiki.

 

[Godkin]

But I can’t tell if Godkin read the diary or just the first post. So I don’t really know if it is sincere. Because it’s just quoting my post back to me, I don’t understand why they posted. Someone who had actually read it might say, ”I never thought of slimes as beautiful” or “I see Elliott very differently, here’s how,” or even just “I love dinos too.” Just four words but then I know they read it and found something they liked or even just had a reaction to.


More that it’s a mix of language that I used and quite different language, as if someone fed the original post into an AI and said “rewrite it in X style” and posted the result. Or translated it into another language and then translated it back.

I tried out Replika AI for a little while, and it was good at asking questions and mirroring back what I said, but it didn’t have anything of its own to say. So I got bored, as @Axka said. What makes the forum fun is seeing how people respond to the game and all the different ideas they have about it and the different ways they have to play it, or the fan art that adds so much imagination to the game. Things I never would have thought of but are really interesting, not just mirroring what other people say or summarizing the wiki.

thank you for sharing your diary. I basically really like that style of language and saying it normally is a bit "boring" to appreciate you. Your first message became a benchmark for me even though there were later messages that were more advanced. I enjoyed reading your messages and they provide an overview of your journey and experiences. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed reading it and will continue to explore more content in your diary.

 

[Jayamos]

[Original message removed]

The first post was confusing, the second answers my question, that’s good.

 

[Godkin]

It doesn't matter if we are wrong. Because every time we are wrong, we will continue to look for the right answer.

 

[Godkin]

The first post was confusing, the second answers my question, that’s good.

I will try to make posts that are clear and easy to understand, without causing "confusion" to the readers. I value clarity in communication and recognize that every word and sentence I say has impact.

 

[Jayamos]

22 Summer Y4
I don't think I have enough dinos. I'm going to fill the barn with them. Come winter, Marnie will be my best friend, but it's fine.

Marlon's sending my snapback in the mail, he says. "Didn't bump up your slime quota much yesterday, I see," he said.

"Thanks for rubbing it in, Mac," I said.

"And you're grateful too," he said.

"Just like the person who's asking me to clobber a thousand slimes for... what exactly?"

"Okay, okay," he sighs. "You save my bacon, I save yours."

"Deal," I say.

Slimy slimy slimes, slimes slimes slimes, slimy slimy slimes...

23 Summer
Ssssssllllllliiiiiiiimmmmmeeeeeessssss...

24 Summer
Haley was dusting the porch. Dusting the porch? I always thought dusty was the natural state of a farm porch. But it does look much nicer when it's not all cobwebby. Is this my farm? Coop full of dinos, check. Slime hutch full of crazed slimes that I haven't visited, check. Blue chickens filing out of the western coop, check. Starfruit emerging in the field, check. Yes, this is my beautiful farm. This is my beautiful wife. I don't have a beautiful car, but this is definitely my life... letting the days go by, the water flowing under the four bridges of the farm, appreciating Haley bringing the porch into, if not sparkliness, at least tidiness.

I missed Willy's birthday. I was going to buy him a beer and listen to his fish tales. "It was how big? You sure, Willy?" "Nah," he'll say, "it must have been just a bit bigger," spreading his arms even wider.

But I forgot, because slimes. Plus I only get to bed when Haley does if I've been wrecked by haunted skulls, apparently.

25 Summer
Splodge, splodge, splodge, splodge, splodge.

Splodge.

Splodgesplodgesplodgesplodge.

I know there's some sun out there somewhere, I just don't get much chance to see it in the drip drip of the mines. And I'm not being a great spouse.

26 Summer
"Do you want to adopt a baby?" Haley woke enough to ask me last night, and I felt the usual stab of (a) terror and (b) guilt. "Not yet, honey, not yet," I murmured, but she was right back asleep. Maybe she was just dreaming.

But this morning she said, "You're never home! I'm tired of going to bed alone. I'm starting to feel like I've done something wrong or something."

We make a deal that I'll be in bed by 10:30, about when she goes to bed. It feels awfully domestic.

27 Summer
Haley is pretty darn cute when she goes to bed. Her makeup is beautiful, totally suits her, and high femme is a nice change after Harvey and Shane, shlubbiest dressers ever. But after she takes off her makeup at night there's something soft about her eyes that I just love.

And I woke up in a great mood. Still need my coffee, but maybe there's something to getting more than 6 hours of sleep.

So this early bedtime might actually work in my favor.

I didn't even go mining. I did repair the slime hutch. They keep getting trapped between the fence and the gate when I'm frantically trying to close it, and then the gate falls off the hinges and they get out of the fence. So, gates on hinges, slimes back behind fence.

28 Summer
I decided to stay above ground again today. I went to the desert, picked up some coconuts for the desert obelisk, said hi to Sandy, traded for staircases and Spicy Eel, and on the way back... went to the mines because I'd left my watering can there, and couldn't resist going back in. Without much result. But I did pick up the watering can in time to plant tomorrow.

But Haley made me promise I'd get to the Midnight Jellies festival on time. "I don't want to be hanging out there with everyone wondering if there's something wrong between us!" So I hustled back home and used the Water Obelisk for its intended purpose—first time and it's the end of summer. I haven't been showing Haley the good time she deserves.

I felt just a little lightheaded as I showed up on the beach, but it passed. She was there with Alex and I felt a twinge of jealousy. I mean, I'm probably just as strong, but it's sword-swinging, tree-felling strong, it doesn't come with six-pack abs. But she gave me a smooch and he winked at me and said "I hear things are going well," so I really hope he's not getting TMI. But I wanted to make the rounds, and did.

It wasn't hard to get there on time. The Midnight Jellies festival is so low-key, so not my usual energy, but maybe that's why I like it, hanging out on the beach feeling the summer evening's warmth turn to the nighttime chill of fall. Jas was hoping for baby jellies, and sure enough there were quite a few for her.

And standing next to Haley, the summer girl, it felt so right. She forgot her camera. I said, "I'll remind you next time." She took my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder and said, "Awww, I know I can count on you." I felt about ten feet tall. Alex can keep his abs.

Leah said "I feel like I hardly get to see you since married Haley, I hope that means things are going well?" "Yes, they are!!" I said, and she smiled. "I'm happy for you," she said. Things are going well, I think, aside from the occasional late night with the slimes. Okay, more than occasional.

But just as I got the first glimpse of the green jelly I happened to notice Abi on the neighboring dock and felt an odd wistfulness and had just a flash of what it might be like to be watching in the darkness with her.

But there was Haley on my arm, and the lovely smell of her hair, and I put away that picture of Abi. It was a perfect moment with Haley, and I wasn't fool enough to miss it.

 

[Jayamos]

1 Fall Y4
Haley's sad about the falling leaves. "But the farm's so beautiful," I say. It is, with the fall color scattered throughout, oaks against maples and the pines steadfast. "You could take pictures. Contrasting foliage and all that." She doesn't seem convinced but she does get outside and try a few in the evening light.

2 Fall
Terrible weather today, cold and wet. But having Haley here makes me get my fall outfit on and my autumnal decoration done on time instead of halfway through the season. The jack-o-lanterns glow even in the damp. I take down the pastel banners just as she's saying how much she misses summer, but she likes the big sunflowers on the wall, so I feel like a successful spouse. She asks me what my favorite season is. I think a bit. "I'm not sure I have one. Spring always reminds me of the first day being here, breathing the fresh air and wondering if I was crazy to do this but ready to throw myself into it. The butterflies and the moonlight jellies in summer always brighten me up. Fall's so nice and crisp after the summer and I love the colors. But maybe winter, for my birthday and because it's a good time to mine."

"Ugh, it's so cold and bleak then," she says and shivers.

"But such a great time to sit by the fire," I say.

"Do you? she asks. "I mean, sit by the fire? Sitting isn't really your thing."

"With you I could make it my thing," I say, and she smiles a little.

It's Penny's birthday so I bring her a melon saved from summer. She's thrilled. It always feels good doing something nice for her.

Rasmodius wants someone to hunt down a Squid Kid and I give it a shot—no luck. And of course I stay too late in the mines trying to find one.

3 Fall
Not feeling like such a good spouse! Haley was so upset this morning that she didn't even get out of bed. "I guess I know how much I matter to you," she says. "First you're running around giving Penny a birthday present, and then you're off on some random adventure for Rasmodius and you wake me up coming home with how dirty and stinky you are... what is that, gunpowder on you?"

"I was just trying to be a good neighbor. With both of them," I say. "That's all. But I can wash off next time I'm in the mines."

"It seems like you just get hypnotized down there and then you don't come back," she says. "And then I'm here all alone and anxious."

She's not wrong. There's something seductive about being down there. Married to the mines... "I get it, I get it," I say. "Look... I feel lucky to be married to you, I feel lucky to come to bed and see your beautiful face. I just need to do some adjusting, that's all."

"You sure do," she says, wavering between anger and sadness.

"I know it. Look, I promise I'll do better. And to start with, breakfast in bed for you."

I go into the kitchen, throw flour everywhere, and bring her pink cake. "For me?" she says. "Okay, I'm feeling a little less jealous. Wow, this is really good," she says. "Who knew you could bake?"

And then I clean up meticulously so the house is tidy for her.

Once she's feeling a little perkier I go out and arrange to give Willy a pile of bug meat for bait by week's end. Like I need another underground quest. I just manage to get home in time to wash off the weird rancid-lobster smell of the bugs before Haley goes to sleep.

4 Fall
Bug hunting proceeds apace. I get home kind of late but I do get cleaned up and Haley wakes up just enough to give me a kiss as I climb into bed. "I did what you suggested, I have lots of farm pictures to show you when you have a moment," she murmurs just before I fall asleep.

5 Fall
I blew it again. Friday's always a busy day with the ancient fruit harvest and the wine shipment to get out. And it's Elliott's birthday and I want bygones to be bygones so I brought him a rabbit's foot, just the kind of generic thing to give someone who you used to love and now doesn't know you from Krobus. He was as sweet as ever and I felt that pang of... loss, guilt, remembered fights. And I really needed to crank on the bug meat delivery, so... got home after midnight. It was past one by the time I got cleaned up and I was just exhausted. And she was sound asleep.

6 Fall
Haley seemed a little distant this morning. I deserve it. She wasn't unfriendly, just... not quite there. She said she'd been thinking about cake and I jumped on the hint. More pink cake for my beautiful wife. That got her attention nicely

At least I got the bug meat delivered in timely fashion and could at least think about relaxing. Except for getting home, getting washed, getting two steps into the bedroom, and then remembering I needed to load the shipping bin. It's a good thing she was willing to wait.

7 Fall
Turns out the distance wasn't about me yesterday, at least not entirely. Haley's turning to fundraising and I have to say I like it on her. She wants me to help with my mad baking skillz and I am not sad to comply.

She also showed me her photos and they look fantastic—beautiful framing of the shot, interesting angles, great sense of color. "You should show these to Leah," I say. "Or I could."

"Really?" Haley says. "She's a real artist, I feel kind of intimidated. She's been here all this time and I barely even know her. Emily says she's nice, though."

"Look, why don't you pick some of your favorites, and I'll show them to her so you have an easier start."

"My hero," she says, and smiles, and I am on top of the world.

 

[Jayamos]

8 Fall Year 4
Haley put things together beautifully, and fast, and raised more than her goal. And maybe she's gotten over that jealousy of Penny—she was so nice to her. It makes me think about why I'm sitting on so much money. That said, once her event was done, I went off to the desert, where I bought 10 coconuts from Sandy and gave her one I found—a much better one, I have to say, but the ones I bought suit the purpose and now I am the proud owner of a desert obelisk. Also much, much poorer, but by Winter's end, between ancient fruit and iridium starfruit wine, I will be back to being filthy rich. Bye bye bus. Pam and I are just going to have to bond over baking—turns out she also has mad skills.

I also rode Misty up to the Adventurer's Guild to check my progress on slime eradication, and, well, this is a longterm project. Even longer if I keep running around hunting bugs for Willy. On the way I passed Maru, I passed Seb, I passed Robin, I passed Linus, I passed Demetrius, I passed half the village and didn't slow down to say hi.

Maybe I should just, um, start over with the slime hutch. I've got no shortage of eggs and it would be nice to have a social life again. Not to mention keep my wife happy.

9 Fall
More slime hunting. At least I got home in good time.

10 Fall
New baby dino! When I check my silos, they're... pathetic. Definitely will be bonding with Marnie this winter.

Got home a little late post-slime hunt, Haley was already in bed.

14 Fall
I got to bed at 10:20 Thursday night and right at 10:00 last night and Haley was in bed both nights. And asleep. I don't feel bad about hustling around to get Abi some blackberry cobbler for her birthday yesterday.

Tonight I got busy with the slime hutch and it was past midnight before I got in. Might as well get updated, since this trying to get to bed by 10:30 isn't doing me any good at all, and it doesn't leave me time for this journal. I still feel kind of guilty, because Haley made me pancakes this morning.

So. Yesterday, I got the earth obelisk. I'm really not sure about the obelisk placement. They're so pretty, and the earth obelisk is mostly hidden behind the stable. But having the obelisks so close to the house sure makes transit efficient.

Today the weather was crummy, just in time for the first pumpkin harvest. But the rain rolls right off my cap and jacket, so after I got the pumpkins harvested and the next batch of seeds in, I bustled around the farm cleaning up a little. There's a new mushroom tree south of the river near the chicken coop. Do I want it? Who doesn't want another incipient mushroom grove? But I need to get them thinned/harvested before winter comes.

I also, finally, have gotten the hang of harvesting my honey without trampling the flowers. The fairy rose looks great, even in the rain.

I hardly even noticed it was getting dark when I decided to try redesigning the slime hutch. And then it's hard to think about anything but what I'm doing. I have to say, remodeling the hutch on the fly is not real successful. But immunity band plus high-quality boots makes it a lot easier. I wonder if I could pay Abi to help me... she's enthusiastic, and she could probably use some extra cash.

OK, now to wash up. Haley's awfully cute when she's asleep... I need to stop being such a workaholic and spend some time with her. Not to mention hang out with the neighbors some. I haven't had a chance to gossip with Leah in forever. Maybe I could bring her some of Haley's pictures.

 

[Jayamos]

15 Fall
Forgot to go to the desert. It was raining again today and I wish I'd brought Sandy a birthday present instead of trudging around the mine seeking slimes. Could have brought Haley a coconut too. She reminded me about the grange display. This year I'm ready!

16 Fall
Pierre was preening himself over the high quality produce he bought from me, but I had superb everything--wine, milk, even a void egg. And the yield from all that mining, including a prismatic shard shimmering right in the center. An iridium bar to put Clint's iron to shame.

Leah was too absorbed in Robin's demo, as usual, to have anything to say. But I felt totally comfortable talking to Harvey and Elliott. Elliott says he wants Gus's recipe for those burgers. I like Haley's cooking, but nothing competes with Elliott's.

Even though I got home right at 10, Haley was asleep again! I just banged the produce into the bin. Now for bed.

17 Fall
The Junimos were picking the sunflowers and I felt a little sad that they were disappearing so quickly, so I took the time to replant. But I gave one to Haley; of course she liked that. She asked if I had any plans for the day and I told her... more than she wanted to know about the slime hutch remodel. I now have a plan for it. "Then I'll be on the farm, and I won't be up late in the mines."

She beamed. But then she said, "Are you sure? It seems like as soon as you're done with one thing you're off on another, or picking up another job on the side."

"Well. Yeah. Leisure time takes some getting used to," I said.

"Just put it on your todo list," she said, smiling—genuinely smiling, not being sarcastic. "Make Time for Your Spouse."

"Right, will do!" I said.

Problem one with the slime hutch remodel: I can't follow plans while being distracted by slimes. The fence is too far over. But at least I made a start and I can try again tomorrow.

And I got home in good time and even though Haley was in bed she was just a little awake. So we had a sweet time.

18 Fall
I have to say, Marnie's choice of birthday celebration is... mystifying. I felt pretty rude knocking on Lewis's door to find her and then felt even more like an idiot when the place was completely empty. But I tracked her down and bestowed baked goods upon her to good effect. I wanted to ask her how she liked sitting for Leah but it didn't seem like the time.

Problem 2 with the slime hutch remodel: Now that the slime hutch is somewhat cleaned up and they're not trapped by slime balls, the slimes are swarming me... and I think they're reproducing daily. It's hard to place anything because the slimes are in the way. Wonder if a light club would help.

The good news is, concentrating on the slime hutch and not going down into the mines, I actually get into bed at a good time, and fairly relaxed, and Haley and I are making beautiful music together.

19 Fall
Slime hutch fencing is about half redone! Light at the end of the tunnel. The long, long tunnel: a glob of slimes is on me as soon as I walk in the door.

20 Fall
I'm just going to have to cull them.


21 Fall
Not giving up on the slimes yet. I bought all Robin's floor crafting recipes. I'm going to try the brick floor on the slime hutch. Also managed to socialize with the entire family and gave Robin some spaghetti for her birthday. It's nice to be above ground again.

Haley bought us a chair—it's not at all the aesthetic I expected from her and when she asked what she thought I was so stunned I nearly dropped my slammer on her foot. It was the kind of no frills, "works but doesn't look like anything" chair I would have gotten. We should have a discussion about decoration. I think she was trying to get something I would like but I have all the aesthetic sense of Krobus. Possibly less, his dungeon/bunker/nuclear fallout shelter is at least aesthetically coherent. I think she'll do a much better job of decorating if she just does what she likes.

Got to bed more or less on time but Haley was asleep. Sigh...she wants me to get to bed when she does, I'm starting to wish she wasn't up even more bright and early than me. And it's hard to discuss much of anything when our schedules mesh so poorly.

 

[Jayamos]

22 Fall Y4
The wooden club doesn't really disperse the slimes and just seems to piss them off. So... I got pissed off. I’d been trying to herd them with the flat of the sword but you can’t hit 5 at a time. I finally let go with my usual combat reflexes and culled about half of them, and the rest are now penned up on one side. In the beautiful, beautiful quiet I put up the rest of the fencing. Now I just need to get flooring done.

You'd think I'd feel triumphant but I got into bed in a bad temper. Mad at myself, mad at the slimes, just generally angry. When I told Haley about it she said, "I'll never understand about you and slimes."

"They're so beautiful and shimmery! Like little balls of ocean," I said.

"Little balls of ocean that want to kill you," she said. "Can't you just hang out on the beach? Speaking of which, I'd love to get down there with you before the snow comes."

"Okay," I say.

"Promise?" she says. "Because I love hanging out with my gorgeous buff spouse enjoying my gorgeous hometown seascape.”

"Promise," I say. "Tomorrow, if the weather's good."

23 Fall
The weather was crummy, so I went down to the beach myself. I wanted to check the special orders board. I guess Haley's right about the side jobs, because I picked up the prismatic jelly gig for Rasmodius. I went right up to the mine, do not pass Go, do not pick up extra cheese, and wandered around looking for slimes. By 5 I had my prismatic jelly.

24 Fall
Lots of errands. I had a great day being outside and above ground nearly the whole time. First delivering the prismatic jelly to Rasmodius, who first told me to scram but got more friendly when I gave him the beer Pam sent.

On the way to town I stopped by Leah's. She was busy with her online site. "Did you ever have it out with Kel?" I asked.

"No... I just don't know what I'd say. And meanwhile there's this 'Mr. K.' that's buying half my stuff on the website. I don't know what to think... I mean, you can guess what K stands for. It's not like she's stalking me, we never talk any more. Does she want to make something up to me? Does she actually like my art after all that conflict? Does she buy it and then stomp on it and throw it in the dumpster?"

"Seems like you could... ask?"

"Urrgg, I just don't want to deal with it. But it always feels weird. And the fact is... the money sure helps, although I'm just about at the point where I don't need it."

"Look, if you need money, I can buy stuff instead of Kel."

"You sure your wife would be OK with it?

"Maybe I ought to bag the slime hutch and use it for an art gallery. She never goes down there."

"Keeping secret art galleries from your wife, not good..."

"Well. I've been thinking about a Pelican Town Community Development Fund. You could be first recipient. Artist in residence."

"Huh... like a grant?"

"Sure."

"I'll think about it," she says. From the look on her face, it could go either way.

"Good. Meanwhile… Haley’s actually a good photographer. I thought you could take a look.”

“Sure, but she needs to ask me. None of this looking at people’s work behind their back.”

“She’s kind of intimidated by you. Maybe you could…say you’d like to take a look when you bump into her.”

“I never bump into her, but if it happens, sure,” she says.

Okay, so I’ll have to tell Haley to seek her out.

Also gave George a leek—he wanted to chat, amazing! Alex says he's done with hair gel. He looks pretty darn good when he's a little disheveled.

Did I go right home so Haley and I could enjoy the sunset at the beach? No. I checked Pierre's special orders board and Rasmodius wants two ghosts eliminated. I felt so free wandering around looking for ghosts, free and optimistic. But only one materialized and I ended up passing out in the mines. My last thought was that Haley was right about me and the extra jobs.

25 Fall
Was killing ghosts for Rasmodius worth it? No. The best I can say is that killing ghost number 2 gave me something to do after filing divorce papers.

Haley's furious. "I see where I stand with you! You'd rather do anything than be home with me!"

"That's not true! I keep getting home on time and you're not there to see it!"

"That's not what happened last night! I cried myself to sleep! This is the last time I'm sitting there at 9:50 dreaming of you and watching the clock tick and wondering if you'll be home before midnight! What are you doing that is so irresistible that you can't spend time with me?" She looks on the edge of tears and I feel terrible, but I'm also in defense mode.

"Being myself! Doing what I love! Mining!" and, well, killing things for fun and profit.

"We're just not compatible," she says. "I was an idiot, I should have listened to Emily. She said you're just not a homebody. I'm going back to live with her tomorrow morning. Unless there's something you have to say for yourself."

"I can't argue with Emily," I say. "I mean... you deserve someone who can give you what you need. And it's true, I'm not one to stay home of an evening. I don't see myself ever being that way unless I end up in George's shoes." I suddenly have an immense flash of sympathy for George. If it’s a strain for me to stay out of the mines after 9PM, what must it be like for him to be stuck at home nearly all the time?

And then I go out and the Junimos are harvesting the last of the sunflowers and I feel just wretched. And from what I can hear Haley's not doing so well either.

So after my chores are done I go off to Lewis's and file the paperwork, and then head up to the mines. If I'm going to lose my marriage over a couple of ghosts I might as well get the pocket change Rasmodius promised me and a little conversation.

I thought of trying to get back home in good time, to be nice or not look so bad or something, but it also felt sort of dishonest, too little too late. In the end I didn't get back till after midnight.

So much for going to the beach with Haley.

26 Fall
Part of me wants to take down the wall sunflowers, part of me doesn't want the empty space. Waking up to the echo of a silent house feels unbelievably lonely.

I made the requisite offering and then went back to the mines. I thought of going to the saloon but I just couldn't show my face. I remember Harvey saying of Shane that he tends to isolate and that's not healthy. Something Shane and I have in common, I guess.

But two good things: Sandy sent me a coconut and a flirty note. And the lack of guilt going to bed when I'm genuinely ready is incredibly peaceful.

27 Fall
Spent the afternoon attempting to put down flooring in the slime hutch. Was I successful? For a sufficiently low value of success, yes. I'm dodging better, or it's easier to dodge, and having one gate at the top of the pen and one at the bottom means there's usually one that's not totally clogged with slimes.

At Spirit's Eve, it took more courage to talk with Emily and Haley than it did to go in the maze, and they were both totally unavoidable. They each acted as though the whole marriage thing never happened, although Emily's smile was a little strange.

I was kind of impressed with Alex. He and Sam are the only two people who are cool-headed enough to think about what's really going on with the maze.

28 Fall
I was sort of thinking of making Abi's annual pumpkin the Golden Pumpkin, but on impulse I veered over to George and Evelyn's and gave it to Alex as a kind of prize for getting closest to where it actually was. He was working out. His abs aren't as impressive as Elliott's but he's no slouch. He said thanks with real appreciation and we chatted for about 30 seconds and he got back to it. I don't know if grid ball is the right goal for him but I appreciate that he is so goal-oriented. Something we have in common.

On the way I bumped into Harvey, who complained about not having enough patients. I know a solution for that one—it's been ages since I got down into Skull Cavern.

 

[Jayamos]

1 Winter Y4
Nothing like seeing those wall sunflowers on a frosty morning to get me to take the fall decorations down and put up the winter ones. It doesn't take the chill off, but the Tree of the Winter Star sure brightens up the kitchen.

Last night I started scything late and passed out in the patch just south of Dino Hill. Most of the farm got scythed. I'll definitely be seeing Marnie in the near future.

Haley was right about the extra jobs. Gunther has been wanting bone pieces for ages, I finally decided to give them to him. Now that Rasmodius has given me the Monster Musk recipe it should be pretty doable.

2 Winter
I decided that before I get back into Skull Cavern I want to level up my skills. I went down with my Slammer, the slingshot with explosive ammo, a hefty spritz of Monster Musk (eau of batwing is possibly the foulest thing I’ve ever smelled) and no sword. It took some getting used to but the job definitely got done. I'll drop Gunther's bone off tomorrow.

4 Winter
A quiet couple of days neatening the trees by Dino Hill, the greenhouse, and Grandpa's shrine, and making plans to add more looms, cheese presses, and oil makers so I can just process things once a week or so, the way I handle the ancient fruit. Monday for cheese, or something. I dropped a ridiculous amount of lumber into the river, but it's fine, I'm not hurting. At least not for wood. But I'm still pretty sad and distracted over the divorce.

Today was quiet until I spent this afternoon desecrating the silence of the snow by bombing the quarry. Bombs, I gotta say, are the bomb. Blowing things up will make you forget all kinds of heartache.

5 Winter
I decided to be less anti-social. I have a little project: give every villager something by the Feast of the Winter Star, even if it's small. First stop George and Evelyn's house; Evelyn wanted an iron bar for some reason. Present for George, maybe?

Alex and George were watching the gridball game together and George said he'd heard from Marlon that I was demolishing a lot of monsters lately. "Well, yeah... they just keep coming, though. I don't know about those Monster Eradication goals, I think they're Monster Slightly Reducing goals. Though I'm not saying no to Burglar Rings and such," I said.

We talked monster tactics, like facing uphill to attack. Alex was sufficiently impressed that he managed to tear his attention away from the gridball game and listen (not so much that he missed the goals, though). "You have to be pretty athletic to get at those monsters, don't you?" he said.

I suddenly felt very seen. "It helps to have good gear," I said. "And serious competitive spirit."

"How do you practice?" he asked. "What's your workout routine?"

"Uhh..." I wonder if he's going to be disillusioned. "At first I just flailed around every time I go down to the mines, and now I swashbuckle on the regular. It's just that I go down there a lot so I get better. It's not like the monsters are practicing for me."

"Like scrimmaging every day." His eyes are a little glazed.

When I leave Evelyn says, "It's good when you come here. Brings George out of his shell a bit."

"I learn a lot from him!" I say.

"And you managed to get Alex to talk about something besides gridball," she says, smiling. "Come by any time."

It feels nice and homey there. And I think Alex has a crush on me. And I think I'm going to encourage it.

7 Winter
Celebrated my birthday last night by passing out in the mines. Harvey picked me up and left a terse note. What on earth is he doing in the mines? But I'm grateful he cared enough to get me home.