Coffee Bean Farming 101

[Yogurt_The_Cow]

So apparently people strike it rich by farming coffee beans. I've been interested in this for a while, and I'm finally going to ask… how do you guys do it? I'm really trying to make my farm more optimal and efficient now. I know everyone has different play styles, but my neurodivergence really makes me want it to be perfect.

I just bought one coffee bean from her uhhh I forget her name. (The lady who sells stuff in the Cindersap Forest.)

Anyways what are your guys' coffee farm layouts?

 

[Cuddlebug]

Usually I get some beans in the mines and plant them in Greenhouse. Put the beans in kegs and make my own coffee, I don't like to pay 300 g for just one cup, Only buy the TSE recipe... And when I get the Coffee maker from Evelyn I usually stop planting beans. The machine gives you a cup everyday, so it's not necessary furthermore.

 

[Nonak]

I also plant them in the greenhouse, not for money, but for speed (3-4 triple shot espressos a day is very healthy trust)

About this many plants gets me swimming in them, I used to have even more, but the bushes were destroyed by THE ORB because THE ORB prefers pinaples. I don't care much for the coffee maker, as by the time I get it I have enough growing and it produces too little for my caffeine addicted farmer. I just smacked it there for the lack of a better place. Grab it whenever I remember to harvest the beans and throw them in kegs, or on this farm in the chest for Automate to process them for me.

 

[WorstDecorator]

well I tend to be either very aggressive (or very lucky) with Dust Sprites early on to where I get a coffee bean or two very early.

And since I'm usually too lazy (or busy) to buy a replacement round of seeds from Pierre come Summertime I usually just replant that coffee harvest as I'm gradually making more mid-tier sprinklers. The last two weeks of summer are actually a lot of time for exponential growth (it's a 2 day regrowth plant after all, 14 days = 7 harvests). I'm always surprised how quickly one or two plants can become 16-20 and suddenly i've got a huuuuuuuge stack. Which in turn becomes the obvious choice for a "filler" crop when I first unlock the greenhouse and/or Ginger Island and need to get something in that soil but don't have the money for a wave of starfruit (or have been unlucky popping Ancient Seeds).

Coffee spirals very easy.

though i filled a shed full of deluxe retaining soil garden pot coffee plants once. never again. it ended up eating all my time just to stay on top of harvesting it. Quick brewing time also means you can lose most of your day just picking and processing your coffee if you're not careful and get your field "too big".

 

[Junimoo]

Very early game I’ll maybe dabble in making coffee, but usually I think my time is better spent growing starfruit and buying coffee

 

[roydivision]

Once I get access to the mines, I go for the Burglar Ring, which you get from the Dust Sprites. Coffee Beans are a nice drop, and since they last during Spring and Summer, they are a great thing to plant early on. Plus the kegs make coffee really fast.

 

[Terdin]

I too have always got my first coffee bean from the mines.

I used to plant a lot of coffee beans, and then taking a day in between wine cycles to run a few cycles of coffee in the keg shed. Now, I've got two kegs for coffee in the house that runs two cycles a day (sometimes more). I've found that 8 coffee plants on Ginger Island gives too many beans for one keg, too few for two, so I put some down on the farm this year to make sure I don't run out.

 

[Gridball Pom Queen]

I mean…I’m not getting rich, but it sparks joy.

 

[Lothengriol]

I also plant them in the greenhouse, not for money, but for speed (3-4 triple shot espressos a day is very healthy trust)
View attachment 39184
About this many plants gets me swimming in them, I used to have even more, but the bushes were destroyed by THE ORB because THE ORB prefers pinaples. I don't care much for the coffee maker, as by the time I get it I have enough growing and it produces too little for my caffeine addicted farmer. I just smacked it there for the lack of a better place. Grab it whenever I remember to harvest the beans and throw them in kegs, or on this farm in the chest for Automate to process them for me.

I have questions about those fruit trees you have in the top right...

 

[LRangerR]

Now you have got me wanting to do a coffee farm thanks.

I don't even like coffee

 

[dragonflySky]

I do plant the coffee beans sometimes if I get them early on in the mines. Good for free crops at the beginning as you don't need a seed maker and they last across summer. But I find it time consuming to pick frequently without the iridium scythe and then process. It's a high effort crop.

 

[Nonak]

I have questions about those fruit trees you have in the top right...

I'm farming the new best fruit in the game - error items. They act like stardrops when eaten and sell for as much as a smoked gold star legend. Trust

It's a modded save and earlier I had to empty my mods folder. Didn't bother with putting them back in just for the screenshot.

 

[Nonak]

I don't even like coffee

I also don't like coffee irl. My farmer consumes double for us both + a lil more on top.

 

[Lothengriol]

I'm farming the new best fruit in the game - error items. They act like stardrops when eaten and sell for as much as a smoked gold star legend. Trust

It's a modded save and earlier I had to empty my mods folder. Didn't bother with putting them back in just for the screenshot.

"I'm a Null farmer. It's nothing, but it's honest work."

I've done little meddling with mods so far, so I'm just now learning that the game doesn't explode or refuse to load in all cases when there's an item from a removed mod in the game somewhere. Neat!

 

[Nonak]

I've done little meddling with mods so far, so I'm just now learning that the game doesn't explode or refuse to load in all cases when there's an item from a removed mod in the game somewhere. Neat!

I didn't even think of that, because one other time I deleted a mod it still loaded fine. Never experienced problems with that. It refused to load as vanilla though.

 

[Lew Zealand]

Farmer Bobbi usually grows some Coffee in the Greenhouse once a bean drops or the Traveling Cart Lady gets one.

However Coffee is Farmer Bobbi's Dichotomy: It is effort-intensive but it makes you go faster.
So, what to do when one strives for efficiency to serve their leisure time but needs to fit in a minimum of work here 'n there so she can retain her Farmer's Union card?

Generally she will grow 5-10 Coffee plants in the Greenhouse in mid-game (fixing the Greenhouse is always a Year 2 occurrence) and process the Beans outside near the Farmhouse so she can harvest and re-Keg while passing by on the way to somewhere more fun.

But Beanmaxxing for profit? There's no way that happens. Very early Farmer Bobbi in the Penny and Abigail days planted too many crops and made too many machines, built too many buildings, and yes sowed too many Coffee Beans, not knowing that the payoff for almost all of this is limited and the true value of things derives from time not spent. One often stumbles around in the dark before finding the light.

Coffee (and Hops, another putative financial windfall crop) are frequent producers so they levy a ponderous tax upon the psyche and spirit as you are either tied to your semi/daily chores or saddled with the inefficiency of skipping those infernally often harvest days and failing your cropsmaxxing regimen, thus cursed to spend your remaining farming days living with the guilt of delinquency to achieve some imaginary "optimal" amount of g.

I'm gonna guess CA didn't create the game as a vector for self-induced psychological trauma. So maybe don't do this? Well unless that's your thing, we're not here to judge ....much

Instead Farmer Bobbi counsels moderation in everything. For clarity, this 'moderation' exists at the very lowest extension of the Bell curve where it looks to runs out of space above zero but it's still totally above nothing, no really! Plant high individual value crops that harvest twice a season, or thrice a season w/Deluxe Speed-Gro if you need to plantmaxx something. Plant reharvestables that take a week to regrow. And most importantly:

Always feel free to skip a day. Skip 2 days, skip a week.

Do something fun instead and grab that crop... meh maybe next week. If you're processing things in Kegs/Jars and it's not ready in the morning, ignore it until tomorrow morning. Or tomorrow week.

Tomorrow week is totally a thing, Farmer Bobbi's calendar keeps showing more of 'em!

 

[Maher]

I grow leeks. I give them to Ev Mullner. She wraps 'em up and gives them to George. Ev mails me a magic machine that creates brewed coffee ex nihilo.

 

[Hollyfox]

i just do it for funsies yknow