Strategy for who you marry

PookieDoodle

Rancher
I was just curious how you decide who you'll marry. Is it the same person each play through? Do you wait for something to happen to make you decide? Do you let your real life situations dictate your decision? This is my fourth game and I've ended up choosing Sebby the last three times. The first time I just chose Harvey because he seemed the most like a family man. The second time I chose Sebby because of a possible glitch in the game. He was up near the train depot smoking. Only this time he was standing on the railroad tracks. I got half way home when the message came up saying a train was coming. I chugged down a coffee and ran back to the train depot as soon as I could. That's when I decided on Sebby. The third time was just because I liked the things he said to me in the morning when he'd make me a coffee. I think there are two kinds of gamers. The ones that play like their real life or the ones that get as far from that as possible. I tend to play like my own life. Which is why I think I always choose Sebby. My late husband always owned a motorcycle and didn't compliment me much, but when he did it was always sincere. Which brings me to my two choices I've narrowed it down to this time. Today I thought I had decided on Elliot. I'd never had a relationship with him so the dialogue would be new and I like things he says. He always tells me things are beautiful. ...even a small mouth bass. But today he apologized for being forward with me and said he was just lonely. I can so relate with that right now. So I left his little beach house deciding I would give him pendant. I stopped at the mountain lake to plant some more trees and Sebby was there. Just to get the little X next to his name I started a conversation with him. He told me he liked my hair. It was the location of where he said that to me. Brought back memories of being a teenager and boys saying things like that to you. But with Sebby, like my late husband, it's always sincere. So I'm thinking if I choose a new mate, my character needs to be different. Because she's always the same. So why wouldn't she always choose the same mate? She always looks the same, she always has the same farmhouse decor. If you've played through a few times, are your characters always basically the same?
 

MissDandy

Farmer
I have a few games and my farmer always looks the same, and I always go after the same guy. I also try and play somewhat like I would imagine my real life, so I guess that makes sense to me. I just would want someone classy who could make me feel happy, and I found him in the game. After that, I had thought about going after someone else, but I can never do it. It seems so far from natural at this point, and why would I change something I know already makes me happy? I totally understand this feeling you described and I'm just the same way lol. (And, I only had to decide once, after I met all the bachelors I pretty much had my mind made on the third day. It was their first impressions that decided it for me and now I don't think I can change my mind.)
 

Ereo

Helper
I play different farmers with different goals, and choose different spouses.

My first farmer married Penny because she likes books and a family.

The second one is more adventurous, she tries to live of nature and she married Abigail.

The third one has a beach farm full of fish ponds and he married Elliott.

The fourth one has a ranch and she was torn between Shane and Haley. She will marry Shane, because then I can pick Haley next time when I'll make a flower farm.
 

PookieDoodle

Rancher
I have a few games and my farmer always looks the same, and I always go after the same guy. I also try and play somewhat like I would imagine my real life, so I guess that makes sense to me. I just would want someone classy who could make me feel happy, and I found him in the game. After that, I had thought about going after someone else, but I can never do it. It seems so far from natural at this point, and why would I change something I know already makes me happy? I totally understand this feeling you described and I'm just the same way lol. (And, I only had to decide once, after I met all the bachelors I pretty much had my mind made on the third day. It was their first impressions that decided it for me and now I don't think I can change my mind.)
That's how I feel. And like I said before, I could change the way my character looks and acts with just a few clicks, but then I'd be the one that was fake. I know it's just a cute little game, but in an odd way it does make you analyze yourself. And for me, it even helps me cope with a loss. My husband of 28 years died suddenly in January. Since then, I've really escaped through this game. It helps me feel productive when I don't. I even made a little memorial for him in the fenced off patch next to the Community Center.
 

benjellyman

Planter
Wow, so deep. Really, I don't care who I marry, I just give a bouquet to the first person with eight hearts. (except for Emily. She's a hippie.) I did marry penny, and honestly, I guess she's fine. But apparently stardew valley has a spouse ready for every type of person. Except for people who nonstop eat dirt...
 

PookieDoodle

Rancher
I play different farmers with different goals, and choose different spouses.

My first farmer married Penny because she likes books and a family.

The second one is more adventurous, she tries to live of nature and she married Abigail.

The third one has a beach farm full of fish ponds and he married Elliott.

The fourth one has a ranch and she was torn between Shane and Haley. She will marry Shane, because then I can pick Haley next time when I'll make a flower farm.
So are all your characters the same? Do they look alike and choose the same paths in the game? Or do you gear them towards how the bachelor/bachelorette you'd choose is?
 

Ereo

Helper
No, they are geared towards the farm type.

Normal farm is a girl with blue hair (I think her name is Lara).

Forest farm is a girl with long brown hair named Blossom. She's kind of a hippie and wears a daisy ;)

Beach farm is a guy named Ariel. He has blue skin and green hair.

Four corners is a girl with pink hair and a green bow. I forgot her name now.

None of them are me or similar to me (ok, I'd love to have bright colored hair ;) )
 

Johndeere756

Planter
I enjoyed reading your post. My original goal was to pick a different bachelorette and a different farm every game. I was thinking it would be nice to experience all the different heart events. I was very surprised to find my favorite is Haley, she really becomes a much nicer, sweeter person the more hearts you earn with her. Penny is wonderful, she reminds me so much of my real world wife. Stardew Valley really is a nice place to spend time in.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
I play different farmers with different goals, and choose different spouses.

My first farmer married Penny because she likes books and a family.

The second one is more adventurous, she tries to live of nature and she married Abigail.

The third one has a beach farm full of fish ponds and he married Elliott.

The fourth one has a ranch and she was torn between Shane and Haley. She will marry Shane, because then I can pick Haley next time when I'll make a flower farm.
Wow, I use the same strategy with different looking Farmers and my first 4 spouses match 3 of yours and in the same order, too. <insert Twilight Zone music here> Only difference is I chose Maru as 3rd but guess what, Elliot is gonna be #5.
 

PookieDoodle

Rancher
No, they are geared towards the farm type.

Normal farm is a girl with blue hair (I think her name is Lara).

Forest farm is a girl with long brown hair named Blossom. She's kind of a hippie and wears a daisy ;)

Beach farm is a guy named Ariel. He has blue skin and green hair.

Four corners is a girl with pink hair and a green bow. I forgot her name now.

None of them are me or similar to me (ok, I'd love to have bright colored hair ;) )
Wow! You've got like a Stardew Valley cast going on. It's a great idea not to get bored of the game. I love the idea of your character style correlating with your farm theme. :heart:
 

PookieDoodle

Rancher
I enjoyed reading your post. My original goal was to pick a different bachelorette and a different farm every game. I was thinking it would be nice to experience all the different heart events. I was very surprised to find my favorite is Haley, she really becomes a much nicer, sweeter person the more hearts you earn with her. Penny is wonderful, she reminds me so much of my real world wife. Stardew Valley really is a nice place to spend time in.
I feel the same way about Shane. The designers tried really hard to get you to dislike him a lot. But then you get his back story, or a little bit of it, and empathize with him. It's odd. No matter how nasty he was to me and how many gifts it took him not to be, I never disliked him. I think it's the awesome Crocs he wears. :smile: And you're right about Haley. She does come around. She comes off as so snobby in the beginning, but then she quickly becomes warm and fuzzy. I think she's come full circle when she stops talking about her wardrobe and tells you how she saved a bird. I love how well rounded some of the characters are.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
And I do the complete opposite. I just go in willy-nilly and see how it plays out.
Actually for the most part I do that.

Farm 1: Was going to be Maru (glasses FTW), but Penny won
Farm 2: Abigail because of all the buzz here about her
Farm 3: Maru (finally followed through)
Farm 4: Haley because people here were slagging on her, and she's the best so far!

Elliot next because Hair and Swimsuit, and probably Shane after because of the same slagging here and Chickens FTW. Prob Alex after then for the same reasons (minus Chickens), but we'll see. All could change depending on how those games go...
 

PookieDoodle

Rancher
Actually for the most part I do that.

Farm 1: Was going to be Maru (glasses FTW), but Penny won
Farm 2: Abigail because of all the buzz here about her
Farm 3: Maru (finally followed through)
Farm 4: Haley because people here were slagging on her, and she's the best so far!

Elliot next because Hair and Swimsuit, and probably Shane after because of the same slagging here and Chickens FTW. Prob Alex after then for the same reasons (minus Chickens), but we'll see. All could change depending on how those games go...
That's kinda me too. I decide on one, then out of the blue I relate with an NPC and before you know it, there we are standing in front of the the Mayor. btw, I agree with you about Haley. I didn't like her for a few play throughs, but now she's my favorite NPC. Funny how it works out like that.
 

ISSsloth

Farmer
In my main save I don't have a set personality for my farmer so I tried to pick a spouse based off personal preference. I had trouble deciding though, because I didn't really feel any sort of attraction to any of the spouses other than as friends. When I met Krobus I soon chose that I wanted him to be my roommate, and soon after I realized that I was aro/ace so maybe that had something to do with it. In my next saves I'm going to have personalities for my farmers and will choose who to marry based off that instead.
 
Last edited:

MissDandy

Farmer
That's how I feel. And like I said before, I could change the way my character looks and acts with just a few clicks, but then I'd be the one that was fake. I know it's just a cute little game, but in an odd way it does make you analyze yourself. And for me, it even helps me cope with a loss. My husband of 28 years died suddenly in January. Since then, I've really escaped through this game. It helps me feel productive when I don't. I even made a little memorial for him in the fenced off patch next to the Community Center.
I'm so sorry to hear about you husband. It is funny how much we use something as simple as a game as a coping mechanism. I used it when my dog was suddenly diagnosed with cancer and had to be put down. I use it to escape from the real world because my real world is really hard to face sometimes (as I assume yours is too) so it's nice to pretend that it's normal and happy for a while.
 

Worblehat

Planter
For me, Maru is by far the best marriageable Stardewvian, so there was never any question about who my first farmer would marry. She's an amateur astronomer; I'm an astronomer (as the saying goes, representation matters 🙂 🔭). She built a robot that is somehow able to launch itself into space (for a while I was thinking about what this implied about the planet Stardew Valley is on; could it even have an atmosphere, let alone a complex vaguely Earth-like biosphere, but then I remembered that magic is real there so A Wizard Did It, not worth putting too much thought into pondering worldbuilding realism :wizard:). And she gives you bombs sometimes; who doesn't like bombs? 💣

If I do a Second Farm, or Beach Farm, or whatever I name it (first farm is First Farm, naturally), I'll probably marry Abigail. She's nowhere near as good as Maru, but far better than all the other candidates. Computer games, adventuring, dislikes large groups of people (she's always off to one side in festivals, and at least once specifically mentions disliking crowds), chocolate cake. And also 💣.

Not sure I'll do a second farm, definitely not any more than that. There are enough aspects of the game I don't enjoy (Skull Cavern, that crystal puzzle on Ginger Island, the more difficult fish, etc.) that replay value doesn't seem all that high. Plus there's the catch-22 game design, by the time you can get X you no longer need it, which sometimes annoys me.
 

Salty1

Planter
I like picking different ones depending on what I want to do that playthrough - and sometimes none at all. Sometimes I think I have my mind made up when I start the game, but then one dialogue at just the right time will steer me elsewhere (even if I've already seen it before, time/circumstance does make the difference!)

Sometimes it's just fun to dedicate yourself to having someone at four hearts for the first flower dance (something I typically ignore when I just want to farm-focus)

It helps if you develop a sort of backstory/frame of reference for who you character is or what they are meant to be doing, else if you don't they tend to revert to blank slate and being a general self-reflection of the player more directly (though imo, there's always at least a little of that even when you go out of your way to try to be different)
 
Top