hhh divorce?? i am undecided dusaida

[rippytrippy]

So I'm married to Sebastian but like
this guy
is uhh
not my ideal husband tbh

and I mean I'm content with him but I feel like I could be far happier with someone else

Plus, I leveled up all my hearts with all of the other men (except Alex, and I'm working on Harvey because Harvey = ) so I mean,,,, if I divorced Sebby it'd be relatively easy to get married again to another dude

problems I have with divorcing Sebby:
-We literally already have 2 kids and I'd be a monster to take them away from him
-Hearts reset to 0 and he will be pissed at me for a long time
-He won't even attend my wedding if he's my old husband
-It would be kinda depressing to see the "ex" label next to his name

...anyway I know it's just a game but AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA I'm bad at decision making lOl

 

[Magically Clueless]

i suppose it depends on what you want to do!

divorce can be pretty heartbreaking for a few reasons, which i think you know. are you content enough to court someone else in a different save, or are you curious enough about another bachelor to divorce him?

it's worth noting you can do something to reset affection for sebastian, but it's not very friendly ): he'll attend your wedding though and you can even date/marry him again if you like

 

[imnvs]

Clarification: he will be pissed at you forever (unless you use the shrine to make any and all exes forget you)

Another clarification: your children will be okay (and alternately, you can turn them into doves so all evidence of your relationship with Seb is gone)

Pro-tip: don't look at what I put behind spoilers unless you really want to see late-game content mentioned.

Now... to things not related to code. Are you doing it because you're bored? You could just start a new save and marry someone new there. You don't need to end this relationship just to have another one. Start a new copy of you that can have another one without you needing to end this one.

...but if you really want to continue this save and really don't want Seb in your life any longer, by all means, it is your game. Do what makes you happy.

 

[Alfyna]

You can really look at this from two perspectives -- a RPing perspective, or a 'I play this game to escape and to make me happy' perspective. I think if you decide which way you're engaging with this game, the choice will become a lot easier.

As someone who doesn't personally like what Sebastian brings to the table in a relationship (the 'too cool for school' vibe has never appealed to me, even as a teenager) and who plays the game to distract myself/make me happy, I would sooner follow my heart and gently end the relationship to pursue something that I look forward to coming home to. From a RPing perspective, though, it hurts to think of someone you care about hurting.

If you want to move on IRL but feel bad about Sebastian's feelings from a RP perspective, try toeing the line between the two. Allow for one season in-game of 'marriage counseling' where you take him to the movies, give him gifts, and see how often he returns your affection. If he still feels distant, doesn't help around the farm much, or makes you feel like your effort isn't worth it, make the decision to divorce at the end of the season. If you feel the spark rekindle because of your efforts, give your marriage another shot. If you can't stomach turning his children into doves, RP that your new husband loves his new family and adopts the kids as his own.

As someone who is hugely into RP, I know how serious this kind of decision feels, which is why I gave you a serious answer. XD It's serious business! I'd love to know which guy is catching your eye, if any. I'm sure whoever you choose will love both you and your kids unconditionally.

 

[Lew Zealand]

If It were me, I'd divorce and get rid of the ex label like Magically Clueless and imnvs mentioned and just start with a clean slate. Seb can hang with Abigail (yeah OK, and Sam) again and all will be well. I'm on my fourth save with a different marriage partner and I just greet the others in my head in-game as "other SO" or "bizarro SO" and it's all good.

I also like to think that I in-game keep that monologue in my head, but occasionally I slip up and say it to the character. Which results in reactions on the order of "Get outta my way, creep!" or "I smell a lawsuit!" or "When did Stardew Valley move to Utah?!"

 

[rippytrippy]

Clarification: he will be pissed at you forever (unless you use the shrine to make any and all exes forget you)

Another clarification: your children will be okay (and alternately, you can turn them into doves so all evidence of your relationship with Seb is gone)

Pro-tip: don't look at what I put behind spoilers unless you really want to see late-game content mentioned.

Now... to things not related to code. Are you doing it because you're bored? You could just start a new save and marry someone new there. You don't need to end this relationship just to have another one. Start a new copy of you that can have another one without you needing to end this one.

...but if you really want to continue this save and really don't want Seb in your life any longer, by all means, it is your game. Do what makes you happy.

yeah i knew there was some sort of things like that but idk how to get them?

You can really look at this from two perspectives -- a RPing perspective, or a 'I play this game to escape and to make me happy' perspective. I think if you decide which way you're engaging with this game, the choice will become a lot easier.

As someone who doesn't personally like what Sebastian brings to the table in a relationship (the 'too cool for school' vibe has never appealed to me, even as a teenager) and who plays the game to distract myself/make me happy, I would sooner follow my heart and gently end the relationship to pursue something that I look forward to coming home to. From a RPing perspective, though, it hurts to think of someone you care about hurting.

If you want to move on IRL but feel bad about Sebastian's feelings from a RP perspective, try toeing the line between the two. Allow for one season in-game of 'marriage counseling' where you take him to the movies, give him gifts, and see how often he returns your affection. If he still feels distant, doesn't help around the farm much, or makes you feel like your effort isn't worth it, make the decision to divorce at the end of the season. If you feel the spark rekindle because of your efforts, give your marriage another shot. If you can't stomach turning his children into doves, RP that your new husband loves his new family and adopts the kids as his own.

As someone who is hugely into RP, I know how serious this kind of decision feels, which is why I gave you a serious answer. XD It's serious business! I'd love to know which guy is catching your eye, if any. I'm sure whoever you choose will love both you and your kids unconditionally.

i don't have ginger island yet sadly but i'll try this once i get it hehehe :Sebastian: if our relationship still doesn't quite work i was thinking of going for Harvey or Sam

and - to all of the others, thanks for all of the advice uwu i think for now i'll try to see what i can do to save our relationship and in the meantime perhaps get a different save file :3

 

[iridium quality]

i was thinking of going for Harvey or Sam

Shane.

 

[rippytrippy]

Shane.

mmmm no
if there's one NPC that would be a terrible parent it would lowkey be Shane
yeah I think I'm more of an RP person.... lol

 

[Alfyna]

i don't have ginger island yet sadly but i'll try this once i get it hehehe :Sebastian: if our relationship still doesn't quite work i was thinking of going for Harvey or Sam

(For the record, the theatre is available to unlock without the Ginger Island update) but yeah, it definitely sounds like you have a plan!! Good luck to you!

 

[lilan castel]

i was thinking of going for Harvey or Sam

Harvey for your life!

 

[Cuusardo]

Start a new life with another farm and marry someone else?

 

[imnvs]

yeah i knew there was some sort of things like that but idk how to get them?

You get access to those after finishing a quest that isn't started until after you complete the Community Center or Joja Community Upgrades. I am loathe to say too much. If you want to learn more, it's all on the wiki.

Oh, yeah, and you won't be able to miss them when you gain access. It's a small room.

 

[A Junimo]

Well, depends on why you want to divorce Seb; what do you mean by 'not my type'? Like, 'I'm just not interested anymore, for no reason," or can you name several, actual reasons that you aren't satisfied?
Either way, divorce him if you think it'll make your in-game life easier. None of the other dudes are perfect--although Sebastian is one of my favorites--but do what you have to do. Just keep in mind that if you're divorcing him because you know exactly what's wrong with him, look for the same qualities in the rest of the guys and steer clear from them.

**lol i feel like a marriage counselor **

EDIT: Bruh you're entire profile is devoted to Seb mayyyyybe you shouldn't split with him just yet XD

 

[rippytrippy]

Well, depends on why you want to divorce Seb; what do you mean by 'not my type'? Like, 'I'm just not interested anymore, for no reason," or can you name several, actual reasons that you aren't satisfied?
Either way, divorce him if you think it'll make your in-game life easier. None of the other dudes are perfect--although Sebastian is one of my favorites--but do what you have to do. Just keep in mind that if you're divorcing him because you know exactly what's wrong with him, look for the same qualities in the rest of the guys and steer clear from them.

**lol i feel like a marriage counselor **

EDIT: Bruh you're entire profile is devoted to Seb mayyyyybe you shouldn't split with him just yet XD

lmao thanks.
Perhaps it's the fact that his dialog doesn't vary a whole lot :/ that's just a thing with the game though and I know it'd prolly be like that with any other bachelor
or the fact that he's like gone a whole lot idk
or the fact that we're basically the same person with different genders
other then that i guess i was just expecting more affection from him? lol

anyway, good advice, for now i think i shall try to,hhh, be happier with him and try to keep our relationship from sputtering and dying and in the meanwhile start a new save and marry someone else lol
....hopefully 1.5 will be available rlly soon because i want the beach farm :/
i wonder why i care this much. it's literally a videogame. lol.

 

[Daikon Ocelot]

No, don't divorce with him. Because it feels wrong, especially you already have kids with him (I know this is just a game, but still).

So yeah, if I were you, and I don't like my current spouse, I will just start a new a game instead, to avoid that feeling of guilty.

 

[BringsTheSnow]

I have no guilt about divorce and am planning on divorcing one of my spouses (from my first save) for the same reasons. I am in it for the enjoyment of the game so if you truly feel it is in character for your farmer, I would do it.

Creating a new farm is also a great option. More time investment than divorce so maybe combine with other game goals (Beach farm, etc.)

 

[Xristos]

You should not be sad about ONE devorce. DF has devorced everyone 10 times in one save if that makes you feel better...

 

[Dr. eeL]

Ladies love the dark bad boys. These guys project a form of hyper self-confidence that allows them to break some rules, disregard convention, and go their own way. In Stardew Valley, motorcycle riding Sebastian is the closest approximation to this image. But marry one, and you will find out that they all wear a mask that covers up issues that will send you reaching for the tissues. Sebby is the product of an early divorce, one that Robin likely made loud and difficult, and early childhood trauma burns deep. He spends his life in the basement, so do not be surprised if he has never developed any verbal and social skills. He is not overly bright, so if you have a college education and marry him, eventually he will resent you. Basically, since he does not love himself, he cannot give love to another. But rippytrippy, you are to be congratulated. You are changing and growing, and have figured out that you need more in a relationship than muscles and a pretty face. I do not know the bachelors so well, but I am sure that Concerned Ape has programmed one to your liking. Personally, I would pick the man who has no trouble saying how he is happy that he married you, while together you both are doing the laundry. You are hanging the shirts and pants, and he is folding the socks and underwear, while both of you are laughing and teasing each other over who makes the most dirty clothes.

 

[Odin]

the product of an early divorce, one that Robin likely made loud and difficult,

I'm not sure I remember the game giving specific details of Robin's previous marriage?

 

[Dr. eeL]

I'm not sure I remember the game giving specific details of Robin's previous marriage?

The game notes that Robin is a high energy person with a temper (probably to match), and Demetrius mentions how carefully he has to toe the line. I would imagine that her first husband was not as careful, so the breakup would not have been pretty.