Writing made a Stardew Valley review, could use opinionS

rippytrippy

rippytrippy

Planter
Yo, so, like,,, in my newspaper class I'm writing a videogame review and I chose Stardew Valley uwu so I wrote my review but it's prolly not good enough to go in the newspaper (yet), sO I was wondering if anyone could read my lovely review and give me opinions on what to change/add/remove?

i don't really know how to share it so I'll just copy and paste it into the post lmao

Stardew Valley is a simulation-farming game released by developer ConcernedApe. You, the player, are given the deeds to your dead grandfather's old farm located in a small town in Stardew Valley. You work in a large corporate company known as Joja Co., but you get fed up with your life in a stuffed cubicle and eventually take up on your grandfather's offer and move to the farm! When you arrive at your new farm, it's an absolute mess - and it's up to you to clean it up and reap profits from it!
Jam-packed with content, loveable (and hateable) NPCs, and a never-ending cycle of chores and quests for you to complete, Stardew Valley is one of the best life simulation games I've ever played. I find it hugely gratifying to complete a day's worth of chores and earn money at the end of the day, only to spend all that money buying more animals or seeds to grow. In Stardew Valley, I can truly live out all the pent-up farming desires I have within me.
Stardew Valley is available on Nintendo Switch, Playstation, Xbox, iOS, Android, and other systems. So, what are you waiting for? Go buy it! Now!!!

*cough*
As you can see, I'm not looking for something super formal....
so
yeah
opinions welcome :iristar: :sebastian: :sweat::petrified:
 
iridium quality

iridium quality

Farmer
Wow! I love your review so far! If you don’t mind, I made a few tiny changes (in red so you can remove them if you wish)

Stardew Valley is a simulation-farming game released by indie developer ConcernedApe. You, the farmer, are given the deed to your late grandfather's old farm located in Stardew Valley. You work at a large corporate company known as Joja Co., but eventually you get fed up with your life in a cramped cubicle and take up your grandfather's offer and move to the farm. When you arrive at your new farm, it's an absolute mess - and it's up to you to clean it up and reap profits from it!
Jam-packed with content, loveable (and hateable) NPCs, and a never-ending cycle of chores and quests for you to complete, Stardew Valley is one of the best life simulation games I've ever played. I find it hugely gratifying to complete a day's worth of chores and earn money at the end of the day, only to spend all that money buying more animals or seeds to grow. In Stardew Valley, I can truly live out all the pent-up farming desires I have within me.
Stardew Valley is available on Nintendo Switch, Playstation, Xbox, iOS, Android, and other systems. So, what are you waiting for? Go buy it!

Also, I think adding something about the mechanics (fishing, foraging, mining, etc) would be nice! Great work!
 
Magically Clueless

Magically Clueless

Administrator
Staff member
it looks good!
i agree with changing "dead grandfather" to "late grandfather". other than that, maybe you can add a part of the game that really resonates with you, so other people could be more interested as well. you really like sebastian for example, so you could talk about how well the NPCs are made and how you enjoyed how their characters grew and changed overtime
 
rippytrippy

rippytrippy

Planter
ISSsloth said:
Lovely but it sound like an ad so if I saw it on the steam store or something I wouldn't exactly trust it.
Click to expand...
lmaoooo that's funny
you see it's for the newspaper so I mean I don't really want it to sound formal, I prefer writing stuff that will make people laugh, though i promise you these are my honest opinions lol
 
rippytrippy

rippytrippy

Planter
Alright people I made it somewhat better
you guys were right, lmao the 1st part kinda did sound like an ad and really didn't do much for the review itself :krobus::unamused:

Stardew Valley is a simulation-farming game released by indie developer ConcernedApe. You work on a farm, where you can feed animals, water crops, chop trees, forage for wildlife to sell, and go fishing. The game is jam-packed with content, loveable (and hateable) NPCs, and a never-ending cycle of chores and quests for you to complete. Stardew Valley is one of the best life simulation games I've ever played - I find it hugely gratifying to complete a day's worth of chores and earn money at the end of the day, only to spend all that money buying more animals or seeds to grow. I love the interactions between the NPCs, the charming dialog from them that is unique to each character. Not to mention, you can literally get married to some of these great NPCs in the game. In Stardew Valley, I can truly live out all the pent-up farming and social desires I have within me.
Stardew Valley is available on Nintendo Switch, Playstation, Xbox, iOS, Android, and other systems. So, what are you waiting for? Go buy it!

i might've added more details but it needs to be short because there's honestly not much room for it in the newspaper anyway because of the way my teacher formats it -.- oh well

thanks for all the advice so far :iristar:
 
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