Bachelor/ette Portaits on the Wiki
- Thread starter LRangerR
- Start date
Lew Zealand
Helper
There are only 2 logical ways to organize the datable villagers on the Wiki:
By Height, so Haley and Shane come first and finally we'll know whether Emily is really wearing 2.5" heels to be that tall (spoiler: she is).
By Hair Color, which is really the only way anyone in this crazy coiffed village with no apparent hairdressing business should be organized. Of course it should be from most natural to least so first comes Harvey with his brown and more brown and brown caterpillar with brown coffee. Maybe this is just from most boring to least (oh yeah, come at me bro!). Next up would be Sam with his uncombable hair syndrome (look it up) and on through the Pennys and Alexes, finally landing on Haley and Elliott. One with a wig made of Marnie's Locks of Love donation and the other with an Amazon subscription to hydrogen peroxide, SPF 30, and a long position on curling iron futures. I'll leave it to you to parse which is which.
By Height, so Haley and Shane come first and finally we'll know whether Emily is really wearing 2.5" heels to be that tall (spoiler: she is).
By Hair Color, which is really the only way anyone in this crazy coiffed village with no apparent hairdressing business should be organized. Of course it should be from most natural to least so first comes Harvey with his brown and more brown and brown caterpillar with brown coffee. Maybe this is just from most boring to least (oh yeah, come at me bro!). Next up would be Sam with his uncombable hair syndrome (look it up) and on through the Pennys and Alexes, finally landing on Haley and Elliott. One with a wig made of Marnie's Locks of Love donation and the other with an Amazon subscription to hydrogen peroxide, SPF 30, and a long position on curling iron futures. I'll leave it to you to parse which is which.
Jayamos
Farmer
I’m going with team Alphabetical, which seems more boring, but if they’re ”partnered” then I’m pushed even harder than the game to define certain relationships, always heterosexual, as romantic. But if it’s alphabetical I have more scope to see Leah and Elliott as artists talking shop, Maru and Penny’s relationship being as important as Penny’s with Sam, etc. Not to mention that I’m never going to see Emily paired with Shane, no matter what they do at the flower dance (surely this is like my prom date, where we were both like, well, I gotta go with somebody, so I guess I’m going with you). So alphabetical gives more room for imagination and is therefore the less boring option.
Except of course for @Lew Zealand’s, and here I’m voting for hair, though then we can argue endlessly over whether Sam is actually uncombable or involves even more gel than Alex for maximum spikes.
I am impressed with how readily I’ve mustered Opinions on this highly important matter!
Except of course for @Lew Zealand’s, and here I’m voting for hair, though then we can argue endlessly over whether Sam is actually uncombable or involves even more gel than Alex for maximum spikes.
I am impressed with how readily I’ve mustered Opinions on this highly important matter!
PoppyForPenny
Farmer
Pam and Haley have same hair
Elenna101
Farmer
Yeah, pretty much this - several of the pairs I don't think of as an actual pair, just "well, they need to dance with someone".
