Spouses keep their personality

Balloras3rdWife

Greenhorn
I fell in love with Leah because of how interesting she was as a person, so much personality. When I married her she lost it all and rarely leaves the house, I didn't want her to change. It would be so much better if they could keep their quirks even after marriage, I don't want to hold her captive.
 
I have the most unpopular opinion view on female bachelorettes. I know some people like it when their partners are being ambitious. Ambition makes a person extremely attraactive. Honestly, ambition cam make a person lonely and depressed as well. –which I digress.

When people marry, they compromise and are committed to the relationship. For example, imagine a woman is more interesting in the past, then suddenly she has to stop being ambitious because she married a man. A farmer's decision determines everything; the Farmer does affect the bachelorette's decision.

I noticed that Sebastian is happier and more ambitious. The same thing goes to Harvey, Eliott, and Shane a little bit. Honestly, I don't know about Alex.
All the female characters took a more traditional path except Abigail. I noticed that people criticized Maru for not being ambitious.
I am not against women who are willing to follow the traditional path. That's their personal choice. However, I would be happy to see women become more ambitious, just like male bachelors. A good balance between ambition and house duty is ideal but depends on their personalities.
 
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imnvs

Local Legend
Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with Leah's storyline. She marries... but does she stop doing art? I think it is just that you don't see the cutscenes any longer, and that spouses aren't coded to have extensive storylines post-marriage that is your problem. You can probably, and in my mind rightly, assume that your spouse's life hasn't changed that much just by being married in most cases.

In fact, the relationships that I find the most problematic are Sebastian's and Alex's storylines post-marriage. They both clearly give up on their dreams to stay in the valley with you.
 
In fact, the relationships that I find the most problematic are Sebastian's and Alex's storylines post-marriage. They both clearly give up on their dreams to stay in the valley with you.
Not only that. Sebastian clearly said he does not like being in the big crowd and he is very interested creating a video game.
I think Alex is too young and he needs some time to make a decision for himself which is bit problematic.... Glad he gets along with his family and people at the bar at the end.
 

Magically Clueless

Administrator
Staff member
Just popping in to say Sebastian doesn't give up on anything and I'd argue is more driven after you marry him. Not only does he have plenty of dialogue that shows he leaves the house (other than him literally leaving the house on select days), he's still a programmer and talks about his work sometimes. I don't necessarily think someone's dream changing when they get married is a bad thing. Sometimes you think you know what you want when you're younger, and then you have some experiences and you realize that something else is better for you instead. That was pretty much what happened to Sebastian, who talked about the city frequently, and then subsequently realized, "oh wait, cities are full of people and as the days go on I've fallen in love with this valley"

Maybe it's sad that maybe none of our far-reaching dreams come true, but it's incredibly human to me and I don't see any character less for that.

More to OP, I feel two ways since I personally don't feel any character loses themselves after marriage, but I definitely see these kinds of comments often enough (especially for certain spouses) and the people that marry them deserve to feel their spouse is truly happy and themselves!! so, maybe some more idle type animations or schedules can be added for spouses so they still do familiar hobbies/passions other than the section behind your house
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
Maybe I haven't married the right wrong? people, but Penny got what she always wanted: a family and children, and she still gets to teach Jas and Vincent. Maru still works on her gadgets and I think still works at the Clinic. I see Abby in the Mines and around town with Seb and Sam, though in many ways she is still as aimless as when you meet her. But her 14 Heart event speaks to her capabilities.

And Haley. Just sooo Haley. Best spouse.

No contest.
 

Dr. eeL

Farmer
Artists require blocks of concentrated quiet thinking time, which is one of the reasons why the valley is perfect for Leah. By falling in love and making the choice to get married, much of her alone time to focus is no longer exists. There she is, making your breakfast, doing the laundry, cleaning up all the stuff that leaked out of your backpack, dusting your trophies, maybe watching a baby or toddler 24-7. She might have a few unbroken moments to write down a few sketches in an idea book, but then something will always pop up that breaks her concentration and demands her attention. After a fun day away from home adventuring, it is really important for the farmer to get home early and give Leah some serious quality time (evening walks holding hands, dinner at Gus's, driftwood hunts, candlelight dinners where you wipe up the kitchen and wash & dry the dishes, listening intently to her talk about her day and dreams) so that her crush on you never fades.
 

Confused

Rancher
It would be nice if spouses' days were a bit more diverse after marriage, I feel like it would add something to them. I personally don't really mind though, I kinda like having a househusband or wife, but I feel like I see what you mean. I wish they had more places to go, like not just their activity spot and the porch. Maybe Alex can go to the park with the kids in town and play grid ball, or maybe Leah can go to town and sketch people.

IDK, I do feel like the saddest character though is Krobus, I mean I love him, but I think it's sad how trapped he is. Obvisiluy! he seems somewhat content with this, but for the other spouses, they at least feel like they can leave the farm if they wanted to. I think it would be kinda cool for Krobus to go hang out with Linus when it's dark out, maybe it can make him feel less alone. Either way, I'm kinda in the middle with the spouses, I don't really see any blearing issues with their new lives, but maybe I just haven't been married to everyone enough.
 

FilthyGorilla

Local Legend
I have the most unpopular opinion view on female bachelorettes. I know some people like it when their partners are being ambitious. Ambition makes a person extremely attraactive. Honestly, ambition cam make a person lonely and depressed as well. –which I digress.

When people marry, they compromise and are committed to the relationship. For example, imagine a woman is more interesting in the past, then suddenly she has to stop being ambitious because she married a man. A farmer's decision determines everything; the Farmer does affect the bachelorette's decision.

I noticed that Sebastian is happier and more ambitious. The same thing goes to Harvey, Eliott, and Shane a little bit. Honestly, I don't know about Alex.
All the female characters took a more traditional path except Abigail. I noticed that people criticized Maru for not being ambitious.
I am not against women who are willing to follow the traditional path. That's their personal choice. However, I would be happy to see women become more ambitious, just like male bachelors. A good balance between ambition and house duty is ideal but depends on their personalities.
I completely agree, It's really annoying and I only really become roomates with krobus nowadays.
I would disagree about shane as he again becomes and alchoholic and emily doesnn't really change much, sebastian gives up his dream of moving to the big city and sam doesn't touch music at all from then on, also Harvey loses his strong want to be someone significant.
Someone made an amazing really long post a while back about which people were ok to marry based on their future and how it changed.
 

Kurachi84

Planter
I agree with both sides, as relationships make people change, and it's normal.
But i'd also like them to be a bit more free, and more busy with themselves.
Penny's stuck with Vincent and Jas, still, while she'd like some space, too, i'm sure... and she can stop complaining about how hard it is to teach the kids.
The complaints is what keeps me away from marrying her nowadays.
Maybe Caroline can change the regular routine a bit, for when Penny normally goes to the museum with the kids.
Or they both are at Marnie's and at Jodi's, like two seasons(spring and fall) at Marnie's and the other seasons (summer and winter) at Jodi's.
Marnie and Jodi have a table, so they can do their education there. Together and safe.

Maybe the spouses not doing much anymore, could have some old hobbies at home, in their own room, and be in their little spot outside a bit more often?
If they mostly stay home, anyway, may as well be with their hobbies.
My parents still did their stuff at home, too, when i was young.
They had less time for it, but at least didn't (almost) quit.

Maybe a few more nice cutscenes with their hobbies after a few years or something, would feel nice, too.
After several years focusing on anything but the marriage, getting an unexpected new happening with the husband/wife, would be fresh, and makes the player keep their love with their lover.
So they won't be inactive husbands and wives, but they DO have their hobbies, still.
 

StardewKat111

Farmhand
I completely agree, It's really annoying and I only really become roomates with krobus nowadays.
I would disagree about shane as he again becomes and alchoholic and emily doesnn't really change much, sebastian gives up his dream of moving to the big city and sam doesn't touch music at all from then on, also Harvey loses his strong want to be someone significant.
Someone made an amazing really long post a while back about which people were ok to marry based on their future and how it changed.
I don't think Sebastian particularly gives up his dream, he just settles for staying at home on the farm. Love does that to people, helps them settle.
 
I completely agree, It's really annoying and I only really become roomates with krobus nowadays.
I would disagree about shane as he again becomes and alchoholic and emily doesnn't really change much, sebastian gives up his dream of moving to the big city and sam doesn't touch music at all from then on, also Harvey loses his strong want to be someone significant.
Someone made an amazing really long post a while back about which people were ok to marry based on their future and how it changed.
I need to defend Sebastian, Shane, and Harvey
Both Sebastian and Harvey both have ambitions after marriage. But Shane did not give up taking care of the chicken. I have a problem with women in particular at SV.
Shane is still taking care of the chicken after his marriage.
Sebastian embraces life at Stardew Valley, and he is spending a lot of time programming his video games. Plus, he started taking care of a new pet.
Even though Harvey did not become a pilot, he is motivated to study to gain more knowledge in medicine and air traffic controllers. That's what makes them more likable.
 

FilthyGorilla

Local Legend
I need to defend Sebastian, Shane, and Harvey
Both Sebastian and Harvey both have ambitions after marriage. But Shane did not give up taking care of the chicken. I have a problem with women in particular at SV.
Shane is still taking care of the chicken after his marriage.
Sebastian embraces life at Stardew Valley, and he is spending a lot of time programming his video games. Plus, he started taking care of a new pet.
Even though Harvey did not become a pilot, he is motivated to study to gain more knowledge in medicine and air traffic controllers. That's what makes them more likable.
You could really say a lot of things like that though such as: "Leah works at night on her secret painting society and hosts online now that she has become someone too influencial in the public eye to lose, she hosts many art galleries all around the Ferngill republic but wartime with the gorotto empire has made it that it is unsafe to leave stardew valley."
I just wrote that and it's not the best example but you could make up anything based on things you know they have done in the past.
This is not meant in any way to be offensive and that's just what I believe.
 

Lew Zealand

Helper
My spouse Head Canon takes into account IRL restrictions of game creation as well as in-game RPG and imagination elements, which are encouraged by the design of Stardew Valley.

Nobody's gonna leave the Valley, so those who express a wanderlust are clearly not going to exit, never to return. A character does this in My Time at Portia and it's a source of annoyance as he's a romanceable character with his own side-quests. Didn't take advantage of that before he leaves? Too bad. I didn't. Oops. Even worse is the character designs in that game leave something to be desired, and this character has IMO the best in the game. Sigh.

An unspoken premise of SDV is that everyone will almost always be available (though not always at their work counters :marnie: :robin: ), so even if Sebastian was away on a cruise or Harvey on a flight, this would break some of the game expectations a bit. The best in-game corollary to this is Emily visiting Sandy on her birthday, but this only happens once a year. And there is the issue of how to "disappear" that NPC for the day/evening in a clean way. I haven't seen Emily do this, so I don't know how seamless it is in-game (and I just missed it in-game, dagnabbit!!!).

These are still functional game design issues, however, and at this point they will not be changed. Late game added one spouse event in v1.4 which was nice, but has mostly continued to add Farmer-focused content, in fact pushing the player physically away from their spouse in v1.5, which I'm still a bit less happy with.

Perhaps this is a mild push that the Farmer should continue to pursue their interests while the spouse can continue to do theirs. Seb can use his bike, Harvey can take flying lessons, Penny can continue to teach the kids. Haley can... make the farm look cute. That's important, right?

Sorry, digressed a bit there. It was always my impression that Maru is still working 2x a week, Penny 3x a week, Sam 2x, Emily every day (heck, she still cooks meals for Haley every Monday), Harvey every day (? not married to him yet), Seb whenever he needs to, Leah still creates, Elliot still writes.

Shane perhaps gets the short end of the stick as he lost his job, but if he finds focus with the Farmer and taking care of Charlie and the other animals on the farm, then he seems to be in a good place. His dialog at other events indicates he's an animal person, so the RPG Farmer married to Shane would definitely set up at least a Coop and a Barn for him. Abby, Haley and Alex have the least focus in the game. I've married Abby and Haley so far and Haley is quite content to keep the Farmhouse up and does head into town from time to time. She seems to be content. From what I've read of Alex, he ends up in a similar content space, having started the game with the most unrealistic of dreams of anyone, and realizing just that over time.

Yeah, but Abby. I'm married to her in my mangled save which I still haven't sorted out, and she seems into Farm life and also shows up in places on the Map which indicate she's following some of her dreams, but I didn't find her to be quite an enthusiastic spouse. Not the best fit for the role. However this is clouded by poor memory and when I tire of my current saves, I will fix my mess of her save to revisit that experience.

Oh look I rambled, what a surprise.
 

FairyRing

Farmer
Yeah, but Abby. I'm married to her in my mangled save which I still haven't sorted out, and she seems into Farm life and also shows up in places on the Map which indicate she's following some of her dreams, but I didn't find her to be quite an enthusiastic spouse
I think with Abby:abigail: she is doing college, living with a strict kinda stuck in his ways Father (maybe) and a Mom that doesn't get her darker pursuits. So she doesn't really know who she has yet to be, only that she likes swinging a sword and the Spirit world .So when the farmer shows up she is introduced to more of life than before. What I'm saying is, her dream is to adventure and she does it. Other than that she hangs out at her dads shop, she hangs out with her boys at the saloon and still plays music by the lake/on the farm. She helps with the flies in the farmhouse (I think she eats them) she waters, fixes fences and fills "Miso's" water bowl She never complains (when I was married to Leah she complains about having to do stuff around the house every now and then). I've met Abbyin the hard style mines just recently so I know she is definitely killing monsters. We have a diviner's room in the farmhouse so yeah we're still doing that too. :wink::heart:
EDIT Abby never beats Journey of the Prairie King so maybe she doesn't fulfill all her dreams.
~Leah disclaimer~ because I like Leah too, after all I married her first. I said this- (when I was married to Leah she complains about having to do stuff around the house every now and then) my head canon for this is she does like the finer things being an artist, she is from Zuzu City so she's not used to doing gross farm house chores, so yeah I would complain too if I were her.
 
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Isa730

Rancher
I would disagree about shane as he again becomes and alchoholic and emily doesnn't really change much, sebastian gives up his dream of moving to the big city and sam doesn't touch music at all from then on, also Harvey loses his strong want to be someone significant.
I think these sorts of things are exactly why I think it would do the game well for marriage to be revisited (not in the base game of course, but maybe in an expanded marriage mod). I agree with the sentiment that marriage does come with compromises (whoever you marry is obviously gonna spend more time on the farm) and it's nice to see when characters get out! For me at least, a lot of the parts that make me sad/that I'd wanna fix if I modded SDV are in the details. For example, when you marry Shane the state of his room doesn't reflect his development at all and I think that kind of sucks mainly because it doesn't feel intentional. I do agree with him having optimistic/pessimistic dialogue on different days though, you can't expect recovery to be easy. I'm really only mentioning this because I like keeping track of the game's inconsistencies in case I get the time/will to learn to mod but haha tangent oops. What I will say though is that I kinda wish he'd do a little more post-marriage, either talking more about making his passion for animals into a career or at least working at the movie theatre. Making new animations for each spouse's activities would probably help a lot more than expected, even new dialogue to show that they did something in the day! My heart can't handle just seeing Sam talk about how he misses Sebastian. :cry:

Maybe it'd be cool if once or twice every season your spouse tells you about an event they're really excited for at [X] location, and if you go there and talk to them it triggers a cutscene where you could be part of it? Maybe then that'd provide some new dialogue options and let them seem a little more autonomous at least! Plus if they want they can guilt you for not going. I guess this has just been a lot of rambling but hey I have a lot of ideas! :laugh:
 
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