Bobbi's FuturePrfect Farm

[Lew Zealand]

This is an extension of posts in the "What happened in your game today?" thread as I was getting too wordy.

Yes, I'm as shocked as you are.

Anyway, better to break it out here and not clog up a more concise thread. Previous posts if you want any backstory:

Concise posts (easily skippable, a few personality nuggets here 'n there)
mid Winter, year 3
mid Winter, year 3 #2
late Winter, year 3
Spring week 2, year 4
Spring week 3, year 4

Oops, started writing stories here
Spring week 4, year 4
Summer week 1, year 4
________

Summer weeks 2 and 3

Week 2 of Summer 4 ends with rain, to nobody's surprise. Farmer Bobbi tries to keep her seat dry by sitting on it but instead that makes her skirt wetter which was really no good. As usual, Emily is smart enough to stay inside so Bobbi muses with the Frogs for a bit, avoiding...

Something or another.

The only sunny day that week was the Luau a few days earlier. This year Bobbi remembered a particularly excellent melon she'd been saving as opposed to the flawless spice berry she'd popped in the soup last year. She was sure that addition had been top notch and the Governor's less than stellar reaction was probably from... yeah something Sam tossed in as a joke. Maybe I can get Seb to tell me what it was, Bobbi thought.

Seeing Emily already there in full swing in time with the music, Bobbi walked up to ask, "Hey Emily, are your feet jealous of Robin's yet?" A smirk crept across Bobbi's face. "I may be small but I still make a big impression on your toes when dancing."

Temporarily snapped out of her dance zone, Emily lost the beat for a second but recovered like a pro and responded with,

Bobbi laughed as she turned away towards the food, knowing her reputation on the dance floor. "Have fun, you're safe for now!" Bobbi called as she planned her dessert attack.

Still feeling much like an overstuffed turkey the following day, Bobbi was surprised when Emily handed her a dark seafoam green Island Bikini Top and asked her to try it on, following with, "Have you come up with an idea for the shop yet?"

"Uh... well, nooo..." Bobbi stammered, taking the jewel-toned top from Emily. "Um, the house windows aren't all that big and nobody really walks out all this way to visit." Bobbi's brain was catching up now. "And and there aren't any unoccupied storefronts in town so we kind of don't have a great location for this shop idea." That's a lot of waffling and we haven't even had breakfast yet, Bobbi thought. "Lemme get this right on so you can see it!" Ooo, good save!

"I remember when a certain single Farmer would occasionally ride through town wearing a grass skirt and a top made from 2 coconut halves and not much else," Emily reminisced, gazing to infinity over Bobbi's shoulder for a few seconds as she showed her the outfit. "That particular Farmer really caught my eye." Emily's eyes landed squarely on Bobbi.

"Uh, yes that top was, is! a good one but well, I've put on a bit of... baby weight so maybe something else would look better?" Bobbi replied, taken off guard.

"Baby weight!" Emily exclaimed. "We adopted our kids or did you forget?!" Emily pinched Bobbi a bit around the midsection. "Baby weight, this stuff? I see you take like 2 pounds of cheese when you go adventuring in that cavern in the Desert." Another pinch. "Did you put it all right here?" Poke and pinch! Bobbi is giggling and trying to squirm away from tickly fingers. But Emily's not done, her voice raising a bit, "...the cavern that Sandy warned me in no uncertain terms never to enter because it's too dangerous." Bobbi found herself engulfed by a big hug.

"It's fine, Skull Cavern's fiiiine, the cheese is super helpful, you've seen all the shiny gems I get from there," Bobbi justifies. "I even found that Autopetter there. I mean can you imagine?" A couple of little Bobbi laughs as they disengage. "Heh, someone just drops one of those there and I totally find it!" Quickly changing the subject back, Bobbi continues, "and anyway I was worried about all the adoption stuff and worry makes me eat ice cream. Ever since I got that recipe, well, heh I've got a weakness for that stuff..." Bobbi trails off making yummy sounds.

Big smile, not too cheesy. Hopefully. Lots of teeth and maybe eyebrows slightly too raised.

Emily reaches out to adjust Bobbi's straps, "Well I think you look very well-proportioned in that top and I have an idea how we can start our advertising." She's all business now having done some mental planning. "You can wear a different one each day you go to Ginger island. You're always there tending that other family of yours."

"What, I don't--!" Bobbi starts with raised eyebrows, voice rising but catches herself too late.

Emily smiles. "Gotcha, teddy bear. Anyway I already have the ladies penciled in to visit twice this week. You pick which ones you want."

"How about just you and nobody else?" Split second pause and Bobbi adds, "Maybe add Abby." Eyebrows raised in mock hope.

"No you silly, pick which top-- OK har har, you got me." Bobbi is bouncing on her toes with a big smile now. "Just say 'Hi' and be yourself and afterwards run off to your farm like usual before the weeds consume it and mutate into a giant SciFi monster, OK?"

"Aww, no parading obviously in front of all the other ladies and getting you jealous?" Bobbi walks around exaggeratedly, drawing her hands down her sides with a flourish, taking longer strides to extend her legs back. "Well, what fun is it going to be for me then?!" Bobbi finishes, looking upwards, giggling with an upstretched palm towards the ceiling in some mock-marble statue pose. And losing her balance, almost falling over but catching herself awkwardly.

"Ooo yeah those moves will get the suits flying off the shelves!" Emily says with an almost straight face, turning towards the sewing room. "I'll get to work double time to keep up with demand."
_____

The next day, there is a soft >bamf< as a farmer appears out of thin air at the top of the beach at Ginger Island, cautiously peering towards the shore and the people there. 6 young women and nobody else, whew! Bobbi chats with everyone as she's very good friends with all and maybe notices them evaluating her choice of swimwear which is unusual for this farmer, but nobody says anything specifically about it.

Probably because Haley was asleep the whole time.

She leaves to tend the farm shortly afterwards but not before chatting in a low voice with Emily. "Um so you have noticed I don't have much of a waist. Unlike everyone else, including you," Bobbi finishes uncertainly.

"And this top makes the most of that," Emily reassures Bobbi. "You look great even with those Army Boots. Maybe especially with them, it makes a statement."

" 'I squish slimes.' " Bobbi announces softly, stomping left and right.

"And never clean their guts off," Emily finishes. "And I saw Abby looking at the top, maybe try a darker one tomorrow." Tomorrow:

"Maybe I could eat less cheese in the cavern." Bobbi muses to Emily afterwards. "Run around a bit more to try to avoid getting munched by serpents so much. Notice how much space everyone gives me as I arrive."

Ignoring the self-deprecating humor, Emily implores, "please don't tell me about serpents or I'll make you go to this beach every day instead of ever visiting that cavern again," with a concerned look on her face. "In any case I was chatting and Abigail wants 3 suits in black, dark purple and midnight blue. I also have orders from almost everyone else except Leah but I'm sure she'll come around once the Fall art season picks up."
_____

The green rain returns for a fourth year, a day or two later than previous years but it's still not clear what causes it. Bobbi remembers a book from her misspent youth about weather patterns or something traveling through space on rare occasion when a moon or asteroid got too close and decimating a planet.

Emily spent most of the day outside getting drenched all the way through and loving every second of it with a permanent wide smile on her face. Still pondering space weather, Bobbi thinks it's a lucky thing this does a little less decimation and a little more weedification to gather Fiber and Mixed Seeds for future endeavors:

62 Mixed Seeds is well over the 48 needed for the next seasonal transition of lazy farming and she already has what she needed anyway to keep Bombing on the first of each season, so this looks to be a success. The end of Fall will be the final test. Also having a green swimsuit ready for the rain event is a must.

Towards the end of the week Emily seemed to be in an even quirkier mood than usual and delivered Bobbi a gem:

"My sweet dear," Bobbi started, "Nobody could possibly expect to be as lucky as you with their hair."

"OK maybe except for Caroline."

"Oh, you asked for it!"

A higher than average number of stuffed Junimos were observed flying throughout the Farmhouse that day.
_____

One side effect of her increased visits to Ginger island to completely inconspicuously advertise swimwear to normal sized people was the extra time spent hiding in the farm area. Which eventually led Bobbi back to Mr. Qi's Nutcase Room to have a peek at the one thing in there not promoting his captive currency.

The Imperfection Tracker.

It seemed to track her imperfections fairly well though it seemed to ignore her recent couture choices. All well and good then. She'd been kind of using it as a guide to find out about things she'd been ignoring and it became clear that cooking was at the top, or really bottom of the list.

As a certified Lazy Farmer, Bobbi only got around to things when that getting became the most important thing to do, and that extended to selling anything other than wine and jelly and the occasional goat cheese. Figuring out what to sell was just too much work... so just sell nothing.

Which means the ingredients for cooking lotsa things were available, so she set to making the house smell... different at least. After being covered with enough ingredients and needing to copiously sample everything to ensure freshness, Bobbi would eventually get full bored and moved on to simply shipping one of everything. So much easier than making value decisions between selling kale and goat eggs. The goats lay eggs, right? Hm, gotta check the autograbber to confirm...

By the end of the third week, the stupid Tracker thing that had wormed it's way into the Bobbibrain was displaying:

Hm, not sure what to think but it's easiest just to continue and see where things fall next week...

 

[Yvi]

I love your Farmer Bobbi stories

 

[stardew_luv]

I love your Farmer Bobbi stories

Second this totally!

 

[Lew Zealand]

Summer week 4

The last Saturday of Summer dawned finally with no rain, allowing Farmer Bobbi to join Emily outside for some zen time with the Frogs and Owls. She'd got a head start on Fall couture after a Summer of swimwear advertising which ended none too soon.

Earlier that week...

"Ooo, I like that color on you," Emily greets Bobbi early one morning. "It goes well with your ears," she finishes, reaching out to rub the Mouse Ears attached to Bobbi's headband. "Lemme get the stud gun and give you a buncha jewel piercings--," now grabbing for the other ear.

"No, no you silly!" Bobbi protests, shrinking away with a smile and a giggle. "You leave my giant ears alone and get your own!" The both hunch down slightly, facing each other, ready to run or pounce in case the other makes a quick move. "Where're your little Junimo friends now, huh?" Bobbi taunts.

"Who's to say I don't have a few behind my back?" Emily starts with a smile, slowly reaching behind her and then swinging her arm around quickly, making Bobbi start and hop back. "Hah, fooled ya!" Emily exclaims with an open empty hand offered to Bobbi. "Always taking me so seriously."

"Am I that serious a person to you?"
The straight face which lasted for almost a second before her natural smile broke easily through the mask.

"You know I take people too seriously and I don't think that's gonna change," Bobbi protests in explanation. "That's just me, this is the 'me' you got." Arms outstretched, fingers drawing along herself as if on display.

Emily sidles in, saying "Yes dear, you're the 'me' I always wanted which is why I'm here with you instead of in that house with older sister with the clothing obsess--" Emily trails off, an odd detached look on her face.

Bobbi bursts out in a laugh of realization, "Bwaaahhahhahaaa, you traded one for another! Oh, am I just a raven haired Haley to you?" Bobbi asks in a self-absorbed movie star tone, using her upper arms to push her swim top together a little with hands extended, advancing on Emily with exaggerated steps.

Emily recovers quickly, "Ew, yuk! No, not in the least and don't wrinkle up that top Ms. Not-Haley." Emily widens Bobbi's arms and wraps them around herself. "You and I make these clothes while Haley buys them." Emily's eyes go slightly unfocused, thinking. "Though you seem to have rubbed off on her which I find amazing. And not amazing." Looking straight at Bobbi again, Emily's closeness hard for the bespectacled Bobbi to focus on. Very pleasant nonetheless.

"I've seen Haley boxing up quite a bit of her stuff to donate," Emily starts, "and spending more time taking pictures with her camera in the outdoors around the Valley." Emily pauses in thought. "All after you came here. You," Emily boops Bobbi on the nose," have had a very good effect on Haley."

"And an even better one on her sister." They exchange a smooch and Emily continues excitedly, "I had a cool idea last night and I don't know why I didn't think of this before! Today the exercise group gets together and you can model-- uh, wear that and maybe do a bit of a workout with them!"

"Workout? You sayin' I'm fat?" Bobbi joked bluntly. She pinched more than a bit from each of her sides.

"Stop that!" Emily admonished in no uncertain terms. "I don't like it and I'm not even going to answer that. I like you very much the way you are and of course I've also noticed how toned you've become since arriving here. I don't expect you to be a stick like I don't expect anyone to be."

"Sorry, I need to joke and if I don't want to make fun of anyone else, well there's only one person left. Me!" Bobbi explains, pointing at herself.

"Yeah OK just keep it to a dull roar. A-ny-way--"

"I'll go visit the workout group," Bobbi interjected to steer the conversation. "You gonna come too?"

"No, I don't want it to seem like we're there advertising."

"But we are!" Bobbi protests, a little disappointed, wanting a partner in crime alongside.

"They don't need to know that," Emily says with an arm around Bobbi's shoulder, slowly steering her towards the lane at the edge of the farm. "Just be your usual charming self." Bobbi's mouth opens for a joke/retort but Emily is way ahead of her. "I knooooow you'll be great just move your tush in there and I'm sure we'll get some more sales, off you go!" Emily releases Bobbi towards town, finishing with a loving pat on the butt of encouragement.

"Love you!" Emily calls to Bobbi as she looks back.

"Love you!" Bobbi responds, slightly bewildered and maybe a touch apprehensive as she turns back towards town. There better not be any of the boys out when I walk by. I need a trenchcoat.

"Hi ladies, mind if I, uh, get some exercise with you today?" Bobbi asks with as much confidence as she can muster as she arrives in the workout room behind the Store.

"Ladies?" Robin asks looking around for some missing persons, hands outstretched exaggeratedly.

"It's hot mammas or nothing in here, Bobbi," Caroline chimes in before dissolving into laughter with Marnie and Jodi.

"Of course, Bobbi," Jodi responds, "especially as you're already dressed for the occasion."

"Or did you just stop here on the way to the beach?" Marnie asks innocently.

"OK OK let's not scare the new blood off," Robin states matter-of-factly, starting the workout tunes "...even if we're all Bobbi BFFs already, right?" Hey yeah, Bobbi thinks, I've already given them like dozens of their favorite gifts, why am I so self-conscious? Looking at her outfit, she remembers its doing most of that particular heavy lifting. Well, time to work it off then!

It's Robin who asks first and soon Bobbi has a couple of orders though Marnie wavers a bit until Bobbi reminds her that they can be worn for various special occasions, not just at the beach.
_____

The next day, Bobbi was pretty much done with swimwear but Emily had one more request.

"Hey hun, while I was visiting Haley told me she's heading to Ginger Beach today so could you wear one last suit?" Emily asks in her sweetest tone. "She just cleared out a bunch of room and is kinda using it as an excuse to get one. Or two, maybe more. Just for me?" Big Emily smile fulla teeth. Like how am I supposed to resist that?

Waitaminute. "Are you taking advantage of your sister?" Bobbi brandishes a skeptical eye towards her wife. "You plant this in her head? Encourage her to donate clothes and just happen to have some to sell her?"

Emily has an only slightly shocked look on her face. "I can't believe you would even think of that." She tries to assume a neutral look but this is not a natural state. Instead smiles curl unbidden from the corners of her lips as she unsuccessfully tries to suppress giggles, "Especially that quickly." And she snorts in laughter.

As Bobbi heads in for a tickle or pinch-based reprimand, Emily quickly grabs a bright fuchsia ensemble and throws it at Bobbi, yelling "Here, try this one!" And darts towards the ubiquitous Fish Tanks for cover.

Bobbi smiles as she changes quickly into the outfit and heads to the door, finishing with, "OK, but I'm only doing this for Haley!"

And shuts the door to a muffled but slightly annoyed "Hey!--" and runs over to the Island Obelisk before Emily can recover.

Sscchheeaooownnnnnn!

The heat hits Bobbi like a ton of bricks but she recovers quickly and spends some time adjusting the suit after her speedy swap at the Farmhouse. Seeing the boat already moored, she heads to the beach and catches Haley as she's exiting the changing rooms but barely gets a word in. Because in horror she sees Alex exiting the boys changing rooms.

Quickly signalling Haley to meet her near the northwest entrance to her island farm, she beats a hasty retreat and Haley eventually makes her way over.

They have a nice convo about summer's end and Haley ends up putting in an order for a couple of suits, one to match Bobbi's color, and suggests selling online if the business needs a boost.

"Of course you'll need a computer but Sam or Harvey probably know how to get one," Haley suggests helpfully.

"Um, maybe not Harvey," Bobbi considers, "I think all he's got is a Ham radio or something."

"Yeah, I remember him mentioning something technical once that made no sense so I kinda thought computer," Haley offers with an offhand smile.

"Oh duh!" Bobbi rolls her eyes. "Sebastian! Of course he'll know exactly what to do."

"Does he do computers?" Haley asks absently. "I can't say I ever talk to him much." She pauses thinking. Longer pause. "Noooo.... I can't say he ever talks to me much. Or anyone except Sam and maybe Abigail. Whatever." Haley shrugs. "He can be your computer boy!"

Bobbi thanks Haley and heads over to tend her Ginger Farm as little as possible so she can zap home and get into some normal clothes.
_____

The next day it's raining at Ginger with it's blissful solitude and peacefulness until she wanders east.

Bobbi cautiously walks up the beach towards the mermaid and thinks she recognizes her from...

from...

somewhere.

"You look like Emily." Uh-oh. Internal monologue? Did I say that out loud? Maybe the rain's too loud and she didn't hear.

"I'll take that as a compliment," the mermaid replies. "Who might Emily be?"

"My wife," Bobbi responds blankly, still captivated by her appearance and strange familiarity. "I mean I'm her wife. Uh, both ways." Could I sound more stupid? And now realizing there was no internal monologue. Stupid mouth always telling on me and getting me into trouble!

The mermaid turns around a bit, now looking at Bobbi to say, "Oh! That's quite the compliment then."

Blank Bobbi brain. Mouth slightly ajar.

The mermaid smiles, looks down and returns to contemplating raindrops becoming one with the endless sea. "You could play be a tune if you wanted to," the mermaid suggests seemingly to nobody in particular. Though Bobbi knows who it's for. "I remember you."

What?? Where? Bobbi's heart and brain are racing but she's bewildered about where they could possibly be headed. Mouth still attempting to form some kind of coherent sounds, the mermaid continues, "From the show at the chilly festival. My sister and I swap years and I've seen you once while my sister has seen you twice."

The mermaid slowly turns back around to Bobbi again. "You played the tune for me even though sis told you there'd be no more pearls. That's sweet." A tiny smile as she turns back to the rolling waves. "Could you play it again for me?"

I need to trade this brain in for a new one, it simply is not doing anything of use. Bobbi starts to ask how when it hits her. I'll ask Abby for her flute! No it's getting late and she's always impossible to find.

Um, also I can't play the flute.

Sooo that rules out that Bone Flute as well. Bobbi you idiot, Flute Blocks. OK okok no idiot, I got there eventually, just took the scenic path. "Um, I think I can do that, I'll uh, be right back?"

Hop on Mr. Boneybutt and zapp home when farther away so not to scare her or anything. No scare mermaid, that's bad. Make Flute Blocks and zappp back to beach, zapp hoss and back in a flash. Whew, she's still there.

"Hello again, cutie," the mermaid says.

Why is it always so hot on this island? I changed into Fall clothes too soon. Focus you silly, how does that tune go? Putting down the blocks in the sand, Bobbi notices it getting darker out and really tries to get it right but as usual gets a lot wrong. She thinks she might hear the mermaid sigh after yet another missed tune but that could have easily have been the soft breaking of a wave.

Finally they sound right and Bobbi sets the notes off in order as the mermaid sings along with them. "Mmmmmm thank you, that always reminds me of mom," the mermaid says with her head held higher towards the clouds, eyes closed, catching the rain on her face. "I'll tell sis to come back the next time it rains and you can play for her. Time to go... but I'll tell you a secret."

The mermaid turns around to Bobbi. "We have a third sister but she left to find her own way. If ever you see another like us, maybe ask to see if she's missing any sisters. Because we miss her to the far ends of the ocean." A quick wave with a wink and the mermaid hops gracefully into the ocean, swallowed by the darkness.

Bobbi does not move for a while, alone with her thoughts and rain dripping from the brim of her hat. She doesn't think the obvious thing because she wouldn't let herself, not yet anyway. Instead she walks slowly to the other end of the island through increasingly dense curtains of rain to find herself in Mr Qi's cold Walnut room which is now very cold as she's soaked through. Peering at the computer thing, wondering absently if she could sell swimsuits with this contraption, she peers into her personal imperfection thingy.

She had been cooking quite a bit and it was fun until it wasn't because she ran out of ingredients. Will need to buy Seeds from Pierre. But not in stock. Oh well.

Wait

Wait more

No you fool, the other wait, the waitaminute wait. I-- I think this Qi guy sells Pierre's missing stocklist. Yes he does! Holy frijoles Mr Qi is useful for something! Oops. Did I say that out loud? Luckily being practically frozen had also kept her mouth immobilized other than the chattering teeth, so she picks out the stocklist and delivers it to a grateful Pierre the next day.
_____

That evening during yet another rainy day, Bobbi plays what little of the piano she can for Emily, arranging as much as possible to include the mermaid's melody to see if Emily has any reaction. Emily's a hard book to read sometimes as she enjoys all of it and lets Bobbi know. Also Bobbi needs to look at the keys while she plays. Inconveniences. But then would I be able to tell if this means something more? Would it be a positive or negative reaction?

Does it matter? Emily's happy and so am I. Things will come out or they won't and we'll still be together and that's what matters.

 

[Lew Zealand]

Fall Weeks 1 and 2, Year 4
__________

Bobbi noticed at weeks' end that Emily hadn't been meditating as often in her favorite spot outside but did manage to find her wife in the Crystal and Stone garden halfway through Fall. They reminisced about the previous couple of weeks' happenings as had become their spousal tradition.

Bobbi finds Emily on the porch early on the final day of summer, taking one last look over the flowering forest trees lining the farm, ripe Starfruit asking to be picked, planted trees lining the ponds, and the grassy fields containing happy, grazing animals.

"I see you finally rolled out of bed," Emily verbally prods Bobbi playfully, along with a more corporeal finger to Bobbi's soft midsection, "not looking forward to picking the whole field?"

"Of course when it's harvest day it's always sunny and hot," Bobbi complains. "Guaranteed. Well, this iridium scythe thing at least makes harvesting a breeze though I lose an occasional something to the pond when I'm having way too much fun. Want a Starfruit? I can grab you one," Bobbi offers.

"Starfruit's OK," Emily answers in an offhand manner, "mmmm I'd rather have Starfruit Wine instead but it's so expensive and our big cash crop, isn't it?" Eyes now alight and glittering in the late summer morning sun, she continues, "Frankly, I'd rather chow down on that fresh Survival Burger that conveniently wandered into the fridge overnight. No wonder I was dreaming about food all night!"

"Oh yeah, I guess I made one of those..." Bobbi tries to be nonchalant. She's not good at subtle though as there's already an excited, expectant look on her face as she turns to Emily. "I looked up how to cook it recently and finally made one yesterday!" she finishes with a big grin.

"Thanks!!" Emily chirps as she wraps her arms around Bobbi and hops up and down a bit in excitement. "It's great looking at the farm out here in this heat but there's a super breakfast in there for me and I wouldn't wanna scare you off with my tummy monster noises!" Emily releases Bobbi from her warm embrace and pops inside.

Now that didn't last long enough... Bobbi thinks before admitting to herself that's just the chores talking. After scything and not losing any Starfruit this time, Bobbi makes preparations for Fall 1's soil treatments as regrettably the gunpowder from season's start has all but leached out from the copious Summer rains.

After taking care of the animals, visiting Sandy to peruse the shirt of the day and Ginger to tend weeds and crops so she can ignore it all tomorrow, Bobbi ends up in the house rather later and hotter than usual.

Emily gets all up close to Bobbi and makes a scene of inhaling her, ending up nose to nose ...ish as Bobbi's nose usually ends up at Emms' chin height at best. "I like your smell, especially when you've been working."

"That's just my eau du manure," Bobbi starts, wiping a finger across her forearm and taking an exaggerated sniff of her hand, "mixed with forgotten shower rolled with a dash of beach sand in all the wrong places. Invigorating!" She finishes with chest puffed out on her tippy toes, unsteadily balancing for effect.

Emily is having none of this silliness as she leans over, takes a lock of Bobbi's hair and brings it to her nose to inhale. "I like your smell you silly parsnip," Emily says quietly into Bobbi's nearby ear, "and I don't mind telling you even if you're not comfortable expressing yourself to me. It's OK," Emily continues as Bobbi starts to protest or explain or whatever her now-blank mind was going to blurt out. Emily hugs Bobbi. "It's OK, I like how you are even though you're different than me. Sentimental words are my thing and jokes are your thing."

"Though jokes can be my thing too," Emily finishes, "so don't get too complacent there Ms. Bigbutt!" She spanks Bobbi once on the rump as she releases her and retreats to the maze of fishtanks before Bobbi realizes what's happened.

There is an amount of stuffed animal tossing, especially as Emily had adjusted the sewing pattern down to handheld size and hidden loads of them around the house for just these occasions.

The best defense is a well-stocked offense.
_____

The following day Bobbi finds Emily drawing the curtains and closing the windows to keep the smell out of the house as it's BeegBoom day.

The festivities are done in a little more than 2 hours as Farmer Bobbi's has these modern farming methods down now. She even remembered the pumpkin seeds from Pierre the previous day and got the right amount. ...mostly. As she already had about 100 left over from last year's miscalculation. I will totally get this right by year 10.

Visiting the Fish Ponds nets Bobbi another dragon tooth that she kinda remembers needing for something from... the Island Trader?

Maybe.

Or she probably really needs it to chase the animals around pretending to be a rhinoceros. "Raaaawwwwrrrrrr!"

The sheep make a bit of room and the cows don't seem to mind but the bunnies scatter into the grass. Well, until Emily hears the sheep bleating more than usual and comes out to check and finds her fool wife chasing them around. "Dear, please don't annoy the animals!" Emily calls from the front porch. "And I don't think rhinos 'rawwwrr' like that, why don't you try it with the dinosaur and see how she likes it?"

"I am not getting my shins skinned by that thing," Bobbi yells back. "again. Why do you think I'm over here?" She charges towards the house at a run and slows to walking up to Emily, still holding her not-rhino horn on her head. She leans over and pokes Emily in the belly with it. "Rawr!"

"Better me than our sheep, you goof," Emily chides. "I don't want them producing kinked wool because you've upset them or you'll be the one brushing it straight all night." A thoughtful look spread across Emily' face. "Unless that make the baggy pants more baggy, maybe you could try that out?"

"Spoilsport," Bobbi concludes but decides not to stick her tongue out as that runs the risk of Emily grabbing it. It's important to learn from past mistakes.

The next day the Fish put in quite the effort, but as it was raining there was no more rhino-ing around with the animals.

She also decides against giving this one to Emily and having a rhino duel as Emily always won those kinds of contests, claiming something about having a longer 'reach' or something with those spider arms of hers.

Bobbi spends a good deal of time cooking late in the evening after she meanders in from impatiently checking if the final plants have grown the missing ingredients at Ginger, consoling herself with coconuts each day they fail to ripen. But eventually the Ginger crops provide and she finishes off the full suite of cooking. As that often takes late into the nights, the following morning she's greeted with

"I do not 'roll'," Bobbi starts loftily, "even though my general shape would suggest I'm optimized for that. And anyway, stinking up the house with boiled carp and eels is tiring while working up to being a master chef!" Bobbi justifies. "It's not the standing and cutting things up and baking, it's the brainstuff. I'm not used to using it this much and I think I might have worn it out."

"Now dear you're just tired, not stupid." Emily consoles Bobbi with a side hug. "I got out of one house to avoid that and I don't need that following me here." There's a big grin on Emily's face as Bobbi slowly realizes what she said.

"That's not very nice!" Bobbi exclaims with a smile on her face uncontrollably mirroring Emily's.

"Noo it isn't, is it??" Emily says with glee, "but sometimes I just need to let the sisterly feelings out and, and you made me do it!"

"I'm teelliiing!" Bobbi taunts in a grade-schooler tone.

Emily quickly bear hugs Bobbi from behind with her spider arms. "Oh no you won't! You're not going anywhere," she states firmly. Bobbi grunting as she tries to escape her rather pleasant prison. Emily continues, "now," <grunt> "dear... mmmph you're not getting away from me today!"

Bobbi resigns in a heap. I'll be dead weight then, she thinks.

But Emily knows these tactics as Bobbi's a bit of a slow learner and leans her against the house, still wrapped in the bear hug. "You almost always go running off to lands far away or occasionally to visit Clint but today I'm staying here. With you."

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Bobbi perks up instantly. Sarcasm rising, "oh no I can ignore things? Done!"

"Ah, there's my Bobbi," Emily says as she releases her and gives Bobbi a peck on the cheek while heading inside. "You can show me something new on the Farm after I get us hats." Bobbi had a hat on when the day started but examining her head, it was clearly missing. No biggie, the treasure rooms in Skull Cavern seemed to like delivering her parsnip seeds, cactus seeds and various cowgirl hats. Emily reappears with 2 matching blue ones, still exuding the faint aroma of flying serpent scales.

Bobbi takes Emily for a tour through the Fish Ponds "Hold your nose!" So Emily holds Bobbi's nose. "Nyoo, nyuoorz."

"Nah, I'm good," Emily responds matter-of-factly, continuing to squish Bobbi's noseinsides around as they walked. But she let go when she spotted a spotted thing on the far side of the farm pond. "What's that??" she asks excitedly, pointing.

"Giant mushroom!" Bobbi yells as they run over to it. "I was gonna cut that tree down but you know, found other less important things to do first. Laziness pays off again."

"That's my girl!" Emily says with a smile and a side hug. "Do they do anything or are they just cool to look at?"

Bobbi shrugs, "I dunno, maybe they're good for shade-- ooo! Or they make great umbrellas! Except for the weight. And the roots. Looks slippery too. Doesn't match my outfit. Doesn't fit on the bus. Won't fold down to a smaller size."

"We could put chairs under it and sit together while it rains," Emily offers. "Maybe toss the kids in the pond to see if they can swim."

"What if they can't?" Bobbi asks, wondering where this was going.

"You have that fishing rod, just hook 'em and reel 'em out!" Emily answers happily.

"You've loosened up quite a bit while living here," Bobbi observes as they walk back to the farmhouse, holding hands.

Emily walks quietly, thinking. "I think I needed to be serious with Haley or she'd just try to get away with everything. I think I was letting her a bit." Emily paused, considering. "She really shaped up when it started to look like I'd move out. I drop by once a week now and she's civil and the house isn't a complete mess."

"She seems to be eating well enough it seems," Bobbi commented.

"Oh," Emily replied cooly, "noticing my sister that way?" Eyebrows arching now.

"No, I mea--" Annoyed Bobbi grunt with associated Emily giggles. "Oh yes, she's quite good looking now."

"Because she wasn't before." Emily finishes, impish smile still playing on her face.

"OK fine you win," Bobbi concedes. "But my cooking will keep you in fine form too." And Bobbi claps a hand on Emily's butt in retaliation.
_____

Bobbi was having trouble with Mr. Qi's imperfection tracker as it insisted she was a few crafting blueprints short and complains to Emily who responds with, "just ask him."

"Qi? What if he's busy?" Bobbi asks already seeing where this is going.

"He'll tell you?" Emily shrug. "Does he look busy?" Internal Bobbi growls now as she never sees him doing anything of use.

"OK fine but he bugs me before his pie hole even opens up. And it gets worse from there." Bobbi admits knowing she should have done this long ago. Sometimes someone you love needs to point out the obvious when you're avoiding things.

The result is buying 2 recipes from the sparkleman himself with Bobbi again mentally growling at herself and him to the point where some of the noise makes it to her throat. Qi probably ignores it and Bobbi mostly doesn't stomp off but at least she waits until he tells her to visit the Dwarf in the Volcano. Yup, the third and last missing recipe is his.

She finishes these off and excitedly in the dead of night, she sneaks into the walnut room again that day, not wanting to look to too eager, totally sure Qi doesn't hear her bump into fewer things than usual. And is met with:

So. That clock thing is all that's left. I know that clock, it's that ridiculous thing the Wizard sells for no reason other than to stock something ridiculous.

Ridiculous. An ego trip.

......

Everything else at 100%.

......

Dammit. Stupid brain. I probably don't have much to sell back home...

The next day:

Farmer Bobbi. The things you do to yourself.

 

[Lew Zealand]

Year 4 Fall week 3. Part 1: Birthday

On the third Saturday of Fall, Farmer Bobbi discussed the previous week's events with Emily as they both managed to absorb enough sunlight to avoid becoming freeze-dried potato chips in the cooling late season air.

As expected after finding a cellar full of perfectly aged starfruit wine, Bobbi enjoys a modest windfall associated with processing the various fruits of her two farms.

Bobbi turns away from minding the farm books to see if Emily is around anywhere and failing to find anyone with iridescent blue hair, does a loop of the ridiculously cluttered house. Unfortunately in this combination of museum, aquarium and department store, one loop barely covers half the available hiding spots.

Muttering to herself about finally cleaning up one of these days, no for reals this time!, Bobbi starts with a small 'gah!' when tapped on the shoulder by one of the mannequins. Looking to her side, Bobbi is about to ask the mannequin to stop that this instant when she hears a giggle from her other side. OK not a mannequin, just a mermaid in a red dress.

"Heehee! You fell for it again," Emily says with typical glee in her voice. "Were you doing some indoor exercise or looking for a lost puppy? Sorry, I don't have any extras." She makes a show of looking about and checking her dress pockets. Proper designers always find somewhere to hide actually useful pockets no matter the clothing, and Emily always designs properly.

"Yees... yes I'm looking for some lost exercise," Bobbi answers flatly, reaching out to pinch an inch from Emily's waist and finding it a bit more difficult than were their positions reversed. "Where do you keep yours at?" An exasperated Bobbi snort, "you're cheating again, it's probably all those healthy muffins that give you bran breath."

"If the dress fits then you won't be pinching anything, Ms. Ticklyfingers," Emily says as she giggles and doesn't try very hard to get away. Bobbi gives up. "I didn't say to stop," Emily states.

Bobbi entwines Emily's pinky with hers in a silent bond, "we can do more later but I have a thought."

"Ooo I like those!" Emily's eyebrows go up.

"How about we sell more than swimsuits as now we have like 100 cloth and loads of dye and, well we're going into Winter soon." Bobbi's brain is trying to get the thinks out before they disappear, which they typically do with frightening ease. Emily knows to pay close attention in case the thought process gets derailed as sometimes she can help it along. "Maybe we can make something to let Penny still read outside in the Winter, like fuzzy leggings. Or maybe a mustache warmer for Harvey."

Emily's face goes blank at that one. "A what?" Her mouth ends up slightly open as if the last suggestion broke all normal trains of thought. This is not a look that Bobbi sees very often.

"I dunno, it literally just popped into my head right now," Bobbi says with a quizzical look on her face. "Ok ok never mind, I didn't say that!"

"No no, there are always options," Emily's thinking cap is back on. "A turtleneck or scarf will keep that caterpillar toasty."

Bobbi instinctively reaches out to put a finger on Emily's upper lip and wiggles it a bit, saying, "One day I'm going to be a byooteeefuuulll butterfly!"

Roars of laughter echo through the house, sending the fish darting about.
_____

Early the following day as Bobbi's stumbling about after a yet another after-1am bedtime, Emily informs her that she's going to see a friend for the day.

"Oh, OK dear." Wait. wait. C'mon brain. The hamsters running the show in Bobbi's head are on break, their exercise wheels empty. Slowly, "uh, are you leaving me again for Elliott? I swear I'll finally do something good with my hair." Bobbi grabs at her mussed morning bob hair. Ugh you can do better than that, I think you used that one last Spring.

"Oh no, this time it's Leah, dear." Emily responds, nonplussed. "Well, you got the hair color mostly right but really, she has riverfront property and isn't trapped by all this gaudiness," Emily finishes with a sweeping arm gesture all around her.

"Hm, Leah." Bobbi considers, looking at a blank spot on the floor with pursed lips. "Well I can understand that, you two have fun then!" Bobbi finishes cheerfully.

"OK then you win, I'm going to see Sandy--" Emily starts.

"Ooo, nice!" Bobbi interjects.

"--becaauuse" Emily continues over Bobbi's comments, "it's her birthday and I always go to the Desert for the day as I so rarely see her." Emily pauses. "I'd like you to come too after you're done with your farmwork stuff if you don't have anything else planned."

"Sure, I'd love to!" Bobbi says with a big smile on her face. "I have the same nothing I have planned for all other days so I'll just put that on hold for now. I'll meet you two there using the big SuperZapper on the Farm when I'm done!"
_____

"Hi Sweeties," Sandy greets Emily and Bobbi with somehow more than her typical cheerfulness. "Ooo I get both of you here today, my best friend and my best customer-friend. Sunscreen on!" Sands is immediately all business. "I'm already done and yes even you, Ms. slightly-less-blinding. Farmer tan doesn't help when you're wearing one of my Crop Tanks (thanks sweetie!)," Sandy leans over to say conspiratorially even though Emily is barely a couple of feet away.

Bobbi plays a little hide and seek while Sandy and Emily talk and mostly ignore the crazy lady.

Bobbi doesn't see Emily whispering to Sandy as they walk towards the pond. When they get there, Sandy swishes her hair and asks, "So what did you bring for my birthday? Maybe a flower from the Valley... You have any Mango Sticky Rice hiding anywhere in that outfit?" Sandy peers about Bobbi's person with raised eyebrows but fails to find flowers or the odd forgotten prepared meal.

Bobbi turns red which takes it's sweet time to fade to pinkish-beige. "Uh well I thought I could fish something up from the lake? Fresh!" Bobbi hastily retrieves her rod from her mostly empty pack. Does Sandy like Spicy Eel? That seems to be a love or hate thing, better not risk it. It's also a few days old, I'd better save the well-aged food for myself.

Sandy wants to end the charade but Emily pats her forearm in restraint for now, asking silently for just 1 more minute.

As Bobbi catches a Sandfish and offers it to Sandy, the gig is up. "She made me do it!" Sandy says in a hurry pointing at Emily who has an impish smile on her face. "I don't want anything except you two here! It was fun watching you catch it though." Big Sandy smile. "Tell you what sweetie, you can let it go and that can be my present."

Bobbi points the fish at a big-smiling Emily. "You. Are a butt." And she tosses it nonchalantly over her shoulder back into the pond.

"Right you are!" Emily agrees as she bumps Bobbi with the side of her rump and then does the same to Sandy. "It's always good to take advantage of what sets you apart from everyone else."

Bobbi wedges herself in the long dead dragon serpent's mouth, feigning distress. "Oh no, it's got me by the knees and started nibbling! If only I didn't taste so good Skull Cavern might be a safer place!"

Sandy and Emily just shake their heads. Emily says to Sandy, "some people are born to lead, others to create new and interesting inventions and foods." She holds out a hand towards Bobbi who's now struggling to free herself. "And others are just hams."

"That's your ham." Sandy agrees with a small smile.

"Yup. Wouldn't have it any other way." Emily says as Bobbi raises her voice to ask,

"What did you say, did I miss something? I'm almost," <grunt> "free!"

"Nothing dear, Sandy and I are discussing the finer points of marriage," Emily calls as they turn to go visit the Deseret, the Trader.

"Hey wait up!" Bobbi says in a slightly shrill voice as she sucks in her midsection and pushes herself free with extra effort, feeling something snap onto her back, smarting. Everything still seems to be in place but feeling back, Emily will probably need to re-stitch the shoulder.

After grunting at the camel a bit so not to leave it out of the conversation, Emily joins Sandy and Bobbi chatting with Deseret, both finding with surprise that Bobbi's Skull Cavern adventures have been made possible by her stocking of magic stairs, spicy eel, and bombs.

"Wait Bobbi gets her bombs from you," Emily asks excitedly ,"do you know that she bombs our farm??"

"Hey wait, not all the time," Bobbi protests. "Only as an early season pyrotechnics spectacular!" She draws herself up importantly. "It's a tradition now."

"So you're saying they're essential to modern farming," Deseret asks, "and are undervalued as a product?"

"Yes! Uh, noooo. Ye-- wait no!" Bobbi's brain is working through what she's implying. "I can totally make my own, I even did in the Mines once!"

"Hmmm..." Deseret narrows her eyes, evaluating Bobbi. "You managed to make one once... Well, as my best customer I guess you can still get the volume discount. But I better not hear about you trading with any of my competitors!"

Fingers crossed behind her, Bobbi agrees with a smile, "I would never trade for bombs with anyone else." I think the Dwarf wants money and that's buying...

"Oh good! And for Sandy, I traded for this recently as I know you love it." Deseret hands Sandy a Mango Sticky Rice with a spoon. "Enjoy it hun, and get inside before the air cools off and you freeze after your all-day heat exposure."

Emily and Bobbi eat as small a bite as possible when Sandy shares, as they both know it's her favorite.

"Happy Birthday Sandy!"

"This day has been the bestest with my besties, thank you both sooo much!" Sandy says as they group hug before parting company.

Bobbi and Emily walk towards the bus but Bobbi steers Emily a bit away to the desert. Both are a bit chilled but there's a weird fire in Bobbi's eyes.

"Hey Emms."

"Yeah Bobbi?"

"I wanna try something stupid."

"That checks out, Ms. FarmBomber. OK, I'm in."

"Grab my hand."

"This better get stupider cause that ain't it."

"I saw this in a movie and wanna try it."

"A movie?? Are you sure?"

"No. Not at all. But..."

"But... what?"

"I need to know if it works."

"What if 'it' doesn't work??"

"Well, uh, we might need to walk home. Like from halfway maybe?"

"Hmmm that won't be too bad I guess."

"Hand in hand. For the entire walk back."

"Oh, so now I don't want it to work?"

Bobbi smiles into the coolness of the evening desert air and clasps Emily's hand with her free one. Emily grabs back a little tighter than usual, face obscured by the darkness but clearly unsure of this whole affair.

Bobbi lifts her other arm to the sky and the stillness of the desert landscape is rent by a terrible

ssccchhheeeaaaaaooowwwwwnnnnnnnnnn!